love stinks ... teehee

I have a real hard time with Paul when he admonishes the singles to stay single. I think because he seems quite happy to be single and I am not. I think because I have always felt like a misfit and seem to always go against the peer pressure. It just seems that marriage is a place where you can finally breath without looking over your shoulder. So I rather like what Jesus has to say on 'singlehood' in Matthew. It feels more kind and encompasses more singles than those who have no desire for marriage.

Matthew 19:12
For there are eunuchs
who were born thus,
from their mother's womb,
& there are eunuchs
who were made eunuchs by men,
& there are eunuchs
who have made themselves eunuchs
for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake.
He who is able to accept it,
let him accept it.

Well, 40 has brought on me needing to accept singlehood. It is one of the hardest things to do with so many hazards out there sabotaging my every thought. I was going along with my life and my Amigurumi addiction was keeping me level and functioning then I get asked 'if I was married' and 'if I liked boys or not' at a family Christmas function. Then later I get this call if I would like to go on a blind date. This person was well meaning and it was harmless but man, did it send my thoughts in a wild frenzy and I had some low points last week. BTW I said no to a blind date. Good grief! {take deep breath}

I love BNN {worldwide Christian radio} that has great hymns and pastors. With it comes a lot of marriage tidbits and help that I really dig. But after taking stock of my life, I have spent 20 years studying marriage, what a wife is, and what makes boys tick because I wanted to have the best marriage and be the best wife I could be. Now it gets me because singles need help. If a good marriage is a mission field for all those out there with bad ones then being single should be a mission field for all the singles messing around or are walking wounded. Elizabeth Elliot said "our disappointments are God's appointments." This is a good boost for a thought I have been nursing for the past months. Something along the lines of Singlehood Survival .... of course I am not main stream so maybe my survival kit wouldn't help others. If I create this dream and it only helps me to be full joy and vibrant than it is worth it. I know vague on the dream but people like to rain on my parade and fail to shush and truly listen.

Oh, I have thought of a retort for those pesky questions on my marital status and it is Biblical! It is good for those 'talk backs' I need to pack myself when the heart starts to bleed and the mind goes into downward spiral and the tears heave. I might not quote all the verse as it just might blood to boil but parts of it still packs some heat....

Marriage is honorable ...
be content with such things as you have.
For Jesus Himself has said,
"I will never leave you nor forsake you."
So we may boldly say:
"The Lord is my Helper;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?"
~ Hebrews 13:4-6

If I really need to shut someone up, I would quote all of it but this saids a lot right here. It certainly shuts me up! I do get a killer wicked grin on my face and I get my mind back and the bleeding stops and the tears recede. I am sure I will have dark episodes and that I would be out the woods on this but I have my footing back and I will keep fortifying myself with His Love Letter.