Hmmm, it seems I do have a very important choice. When the blues or grey clouds invade my mind like now, I can fall into despair & depression or I can depend on God. Yes, I know I need to renew the mind and I do but what a battle. I still walk in the dark for a while until the sun begins to appear. Yet at times, I feel I am just glossing over and it is just right under the surface only to rear up quicker.
I could try to figure out where the feelings are coming from but that is old hat. Food, loneliness, messed up plans .. I think all selfish motives if I am going to be really honest at the end of the day. I will keep going into training the brain and rereading God's Love Letter especially the tear stained ones about His Great Love for me. I will busy my hands at creating new things and give them away. I will train myself at reaching out ... instead of decompressing...
I could get my soapbox out but I am going to put it away. However, I will keep the soap out and suds away the dirty windows... I do have a lot of nice gifts in the form of family and pups. I have some neglected gifts that I need to bring out and put in the display like old friendships ... kinda scary because Mom says it is like tennis you have to put the ball in the other court so the other can volley... I do put that ball in the other court but I am always waiting for the return... Maybe I need a new picture to understand the game because I don't get it. Then I have some talent that I have no clue what I am suppose to do with it. I have an overflow of glass unwanted and maybe my amigurumi will begin to fall into the unwanted category as well. Ok, better turn the car around ... I also have some gifts like teaching and encouragement that I am not sure what to do with ...
Well, I better go get busy instead of mopping {{lopsided smile}}
Oh, I got fireworks tonight to enjoy! Must take my patriotic music to enjoy with!!! See, I do have great blessings in my life to count and delight in... offf I go to unwrap!
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