yummy soft hair again ...

To stand before a whole row of hair color at $6 to $11 dollar a pop is a daunting task so I end up walking away. I want to go grey naturally and gracefully which is proving a tough task. The grey is peeking through but with brown hair, I quake at the thought of the in between hair. You know the look - a woman with hair with no style down past her shoulder about an inch, no curl just long wiry stands of white, browns, and even a tinge of brown that borders red. She looks old and haggard It is just makes me sick. But then again too I don't like to know someone is dying her hair either but the look of it.

My hair is more thirsty and I use conditioner that I would have stayed away from in my youth. After a month's growth I cannot stand the texture that I itch to cut. Wooooo hoooo, last night I did just that! The softness comes back. Having cut all the memory out it takes a bit to style it back but thinking about it just now, it is the memory plus the growth that makes me see scissors in my hair's future!!!

So here is to soft hair back in the swing and silver adds to character!!!

at what cost?

Twice today the question was posed by two different radio speakers so I thought I better pay attention and write it down. The question goes like this:

At what cost are you willing to do right? or How much are you willing to pay to do what is right?

At what cost are you willing to turn to wrong? or How much are you willing to pay to do what is wrong? or What will it take for you to do wrong?

Yes, it can be asked in different ways. And as I was trying to write it down as I heard it, I realized that asked in a certain way can cause more of a catch in the thought. You see when I phrase it with cost rather than pay, I realized that cost brings on the darker side of things whereas pay, I might just gloss it over and not get the real meaning.

A bit of caution here. If you really haven't messed up and have been a 'goody two shoes', you think you can handle the cost. Unfortunately, my older wiser self {smirk} would tell my younger self just what exactly tripped me up. I would answer the question what I was willing to pay to do wrong. I don't think my younger self would have believe my older self. {sadly}

I do hope that my now self will find and keep the good fencing God has placed around me. I want my future self to look back and be proud of me! It is about how purely and beautifully I can live my life and not how close to the edge I can live without getting dirty.

Zimbabwe ...

Horizon

I received an emergency letter from Horizon. Zimbabwe is in crisis and the government is cutting limbs and destroying people's homes. The orphans and their caretakers are in danger. Please pray and surround these kids and their caretakers with promises from God's Word. The letter was long and I am just giving you bare facts. Simple prayers are very powerful at the feet of the Almighty God. These are troubling times. Just turn on the world news. South Africa where my girl is located is in danger of unrest too. Fight back with God's Promises. Don't let it get you down...

Mat 19:14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

Psa 82:3 Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy.

perfumed ...

Peonies are blooming! There are two 'bushes' of them left from a tenant that has moved on so I have adopted these beauties. One 'bush' is pink and the other is a deep burgundy. I have one of each in my home and every so often I can smell them. I took 3 in a short little mason jar for work to sit on my desk. They just amaze me. They are little round balls of petals and before your very eyes they unfurl into big puff of petals. Though they are not my favorite flower, I have come to enjoy them every Memorial Day. Love the flower your with?

what is honor?

I know of a man of God who has faced many scoffers and yet he is still upbeat. Many that have been in his position before have fallen in a depression or felt immobile and unable to do much. Some were men of God. I do have to admit that my eyes are more keen today than when I was younger and only have this world's history books to go by. Yet, I stand amazed by this man's courage to face a country who has the all time low approval rating for him.

Peel back this earthly layer and see this man surrounded by prayer warriors and see God's Almighty Hand resting upon his shoulder and there you will that this man keeps about him an inner calm provided only by the Hand of God. There is no arrogance only a positive outlook which the media faults him on. I see it that he has successfully casted out all scoffers from him mind and continues on to fight the good fight. He has kept this nation from a harm more deadly and fierce than just a couple countries who hate us and disclaim the existence of Israel because when they state that Israel isn't a country they discredit that God even exist!

Here I wax on so let me get straight to the point. Where is our respect and honor? Does it lie upon what we feel? Does it relate to opinion polls? Should you let hollywood or the media or some star tell you what honor is? How do you show respect and honor? It is lofty or is it lowly? It is too grand or should it be simple and pure?

Proverbs 20:28
Love and faithfulness keep a king safe; through love his throne is made secure.


Proverbs 21:1
The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.

Proverbs 25:2
It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.

Proverbs 29:4
By justice a king gives a country stability, but one who is greedy for bribes tears it down.

sheep or pig?

More obedience thoughts:

A lamb who has fallen into mud works hard to get out. A pig who has fallen into mud finds it home and is contented. The same goes with God's children, they fight to get out whereas the children of this world enjoy their mud.

I have recorded here before that obedience brings blessing and disobedience brings punishment. I must add that obedience says 'I love You, God.' Disobedience says 'I despise You, God. See this in King David's sin -> II Sam 12:1-12!

Freedom Rock ...

I just happened to hear about this guy who paints on a rock. Our college had a 'smaller' rock that we would paint on and such. So when I heard about this, my ears perked. I had to see for my own eyes! I love paint and I love a good artist. This guy does an excellent job. What a tribute too!

Being that gas prices are at a $4/gal dollar high, internet surfing is the best way to see this art. They have last years shot up and will have this years soon. It is worth a lonnnnnnng look. This is a good size rock and each angle has a USA patriotic story within.

bubba's blog & bubba's Freedom Rock

what is a scoffer?

scoff |skôf; skäf|

verb [ intrans. ]
speak to someone or about something in a scornfully derisive or mocking way : department officials scoffed at the allegations

noun
an expression of scornful derision.
• archaic an object of ridicule :

DERIVATIVES
scoffer -noun
scoffingly -adverb
ORIGIN Middle English (first used as a noun in the sense [mockery, scorn] ): perhaps of Scandinavian origin.

A scoffer according to the Bible is abomination to men! Proverbs 24:9 Abomination means atrocity, disgrace, horror, obscenity, outrage, evil, crime, monstrosity, anathema, bane, detestation, loathing, hatred, aversion, antipathy, revulsion, repugnance, abhorrence, odium, execration, disgust, horror, hostility. (antonym liking, love.)

In common terms a scoffer is anyone who speaks ill of another or is against the flow. It is extremely important to weed out of your life! How much more plain can the Word of God be? I know that I am sooooo worried about not rocking the boat that maybe I shouldn't be! The scoffers are the ones rocking about and making the mess. Toss them out and you will bail yourself out of danger! Take heart my feeble one!

cast out the scoffer!!

two footing it ...

I stopped by my parents on Thursday to pick up something and there peeking around the corner was precious Lucia. She is soooo cute. My niece is in the crawling stage and is so smiley. It is amazing to look into the younger generation and see parts of yourself. It moves your heart.

She has finally figured out the crawling but she much rather be walking instead. She pulls herself up, holds your hands and away she goes. This is more fun for her. Very interesting. Ethen, her cousin, never did crawl. He bypassed the stage and was two footing it. Amazing that crawling is not the in thing to do in our family!

A big lesson here! Something maybe this auntie will be able to impart upon these special gifts. If ever there is a tear in the eye or a pain in the heart my child, you never where into crawling. No, you were made for walking so walk tall!

about work ...

After struggling with what is important about my work, I made a list of three things:

1. TEAMWORK - picture the ox yoke

2. Focus on your job well done - picture the race horse running for the prize with blinders on - no distractions!

3. Atmosphere & Attitude - empowering not souring

cast out the scoffers ...

Cast out the scoffers and contention will leave;
yes, strife and reproach will cease.
Proverbs 22:10

I love how God's word just burst forth in a new and deeper way. Yesterday I was fuming over scoffers at work. Oh, I was stamping my foot and throwing a temper inside. I just wanted to put them in their place. A co-worker was talking about another co-worker to me and while doing so was trying to 'teach' me the rules according to her. Her lousy mini-boss made a snide comment over a plan my mini-boss put on them. I was livid. I huge pet peeve for me is the lack of teamwork. Anyway knowing my thoughts where going to bring me down, I tried very hard not hash over the erks of the day. I tried filling my mind with song. Then I happened upon this verse.

I may not be able to kindly say a word to shut them up or it just might not be the right way to reflect Jesus. But I can cast out the scoffers by not allowing them to start in on their reproaching. I don't like walking away when people are talking but I just might have to make a rule for myself to walk away when they start to bad mouth others. I might not be able to escape the snide comments that seem to blurt out when I least except it but I can ignore it and mentally go to this verse or burst out into song inside my brain. Would it be wrong to answer a rude comment by saying ' O, I didn't just hear what you said' and walk out? Probably isn't being kind.

No matter. Just having this verse pop out at me today gave me the confidence that I was on the right track. Oh, if it where so easy to forget underhanded remarks.

fencing ...

''suffer the little children to come unto Me''

cc:
* neighborhood kids spilling outside the box

sx:
* little kids stealing flowers
* tweenies & teens loitering

hx:
* bad parenting - no 'fencing'

dx:
kids need:
* need love (time)
* need adult attention
* need someone to listen to them

rx:
* blast long hair music out the window for their enjoyment
Hey, if they are going to spill outside their box and into mine, it won't hurt them any to listen to 'old' music.
* go out and sit in 'my patch' of yard and observe - take notes!
* ask questions about their dreams and their life - it is being a good neighbor!
* pray for them
* jot down outdoor games & maybe see if they would be up to some - constructive!!!!
* BE WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO BE
* be a student
* reflect Jesus Christ
* be creative, joyful, and use quiet leadership

Parenting's top priority is to teach obedience and nothing else. When teaching obedience, you must teach as well as model obedience quickly, sweetly, and completely. No questions. Stress that obedience brings blessing and disobedience brings punishment. The reason obedience is top priority is because you are teaching and modeling the ultimate relationship with God. If you honor God by your obedience to Him, this relationship spills out into all other relationships.

Note to the questions part:
Asking questions comes later and you must stress that questions cannot be one word questions. Make them use a full sentence question. Also do not allow them to ask why. Why is always about the past and other questions will help them process learning and grow in the moment and propel them into the future. Teaches them to get unstuck.

Fencing is really a way to live life freely. You know the limits and strange as it sounds you are free. Try living the earth's concept of 'free' and you will find that sin and especially the guilt becomes like chains and weights. It is bondage! It is an endless cycle of sin and punishment over and over. Be the parent and fence!

brain, seedlings, & wedding plans ...

* I enjoy the creative brain in the morning. It is most productive with proactive solutions. I celebrate the flow so much that my morning preparations slow and I have to remember my work day awaits me.

* I enjoy watching the baby corn seedlings pop up through the dark earth. Little green sprouts in rows as far as you can see is a bright simple, slow but sure hope for the frantic feeding frenzy of the global markets.

* I enjoy hearing about wedding plans that are coming together and completed for a co-worker. I especially enjoy the house info and updates as I try to formulate a painting gift uniquely fitted for her and her new life.

stealing flowers ...

Back in the 70's when we lived in a trailer park, we had the run of the hood. Rules where important. We did not enter the other yards unless they were friends. We rode our bikes all over the place but on the roads only. One day a boy picked raspberries on from some one's bush. The neighbor contacted the mother and the boy was punished. The boy took the punishment and didn't do it again.

Today I live in low income housing apartment. The building I live in has no kids but most of the other buildings have kids. These kids have no respect of place and run wild. The bigger kids resort to nasty wrestling that looks painful. The littler kids are stealing and destroying the flowers along our building. This latter continual incident makes me livid. Then to top it off one of the bigger kids used disrespectful language towards a female adult.

I have reported the flower stealing to the manager but of course that isn't going very far. I have talked to a couple of the little ankle bitters but they have more little tots around that didn't get the message. There is one who has been told and has a look about her that whatever you say will not sink in.

I am not a leader and quite timid. I am one who does not have kids because early on I knew I could not deal with children in the way they should be. Plus, I was raised 2 generations behind the one I was in and I would end up raising my own children about 4 to 6 generations behind the generation they were in. There is no team to back me up either.

I feel very badly. I feel that I should begin some planting group for these pee wees. By teaching them the process of flowers then maybe they would have respect for other's. Maybe if their flowers where picked and destroyed, they would be more conscious of others. However, whatever I do will be throw back in my face. I much rather get that condo I fell in love with last fall. There I could be alone with my flowers and herbs but here I am quaking in anger over stolen flowers and the frustration I have over not being so good at leading...

Just this summer gang signs are gratified on the trash dumpster and on the brick of an apartment building. I know I am not in the best of places. Maybe it is time to move on...

Or maybe staying, I can use my questions and my joy as strength... Maybe by teaching flowers, the Creator could be seen ...

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16

mom told me not to ...

"You want to see a baby squirrel?"

Mom is pointing to a tree where there in a hole is a little squirrel coming in and out quickly. It is like his mama told him to stay put inside the comfort of home. But the squirrel is so excited about the new morning and all the new things to check out. He keeps darting back into the hole. He is afraid and curious at the same time! Loved it except no camera to keep this memory. Bummer!

a wasted day ...

''A day is a waste if you don't fall into a heap of laughter.''
~Lucy Swindoll

Being funny isn't a strength of mine so I will not beat myself up for not being able to be a riot. I also live an alone type of lifestyle so there is no audience to perfect my funny. I do have my laughable moments like playing Pictionary. I do have a strength that I do instead of being bent over squirting tears hysterics.

My day isn't a waste if I can enjoy. A warm smile spreads across my face and that is just enough for me. I like to make a list of the little God-touches in my life and the little things that I have enjoyed in the moment or through out the day in prayer. It is pouring pure sunshine.

"A day is a waste if you don't burst into smiles over the God-touches and God-moments"

pressing toward the mark ...

I was convicted by a simple verse and I wonder why I didn't get it before or sooner. Maybe it came at the right time. I have travelled this far in getting over the past so as I have extracted myself from it maybe this will hurl me into the moment. So here is to forgetting my x memories even though they were very precious to me, to forgetting the pain of abandonment, and to forgetting my anger and frustration. Here is to reaching forward to lessons learned and lived, to reaching for Joy of the Lord, my Strength, and to reaching forward to my passions and dreams. I press toward what God has created within me and has designed for my life. I have a high calling straight from God and I need to keep that front and center.

I am sooooo tired of seeking out, listening and cheering at the feet of others for their dreams and passions. No one is there listening to mine. So suppose I choose to seek out, listen, and cheer for my own passions and dreams? I use to get so sad and angst when I listened to a dream of another and they would just give up! So I won't be able to tolerate it in my own life! Hmmmm, imagine ... isn't an adventure about living in the moment?

It is forgetting worry, stress, and fear but remembering the Works of God. What good has He moved in my life? Didn't He say He would see it to completion and perfection? Suppose I remember all the Good Gifts He has provided? Surely, remembering the Blessings helps in the forgetting of what lies behind.

... forgetting what lies behind and reaching for what lies ahead, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:13-14

much better ...

I had a coughing fit Sunday morning in church. I could not stop and I was trying to keep it quiet. I couldn't breath. Tears where pouring. Nose was running. Here I was with my whole body rocking and sucking on a second cough drop to boot. Needless to say, I have either cracked a rib or really pull a muscle. It is difficult to sit or lie down comfortably. I will not be going to the doctor to just to be put through a run around. I did it for the last time when Bobby, my sweet pupinator, who pounce straight on my chest bone over the heart. I was in so much pain and the doctor made me go get an x-ray to find out a muscle tightened up and wasn't going to relax anytime soon. I much rather put up with the pain than to get a run around and an empty pocket.

I am finishing up the antibiotic tomorrow morning. I do feel better. I was anxious to restart my weights. Now I will wait because when I go about my normal day, I catch myself stressing the rib.

My mind is back to multitasking and I am not so tired. I am not as hungry so I can't wait to get the to med free! Not that I want to be hungry but I want my system to be back on track.

Happy Mother's day!!!!

A mother is someone who can take the place of everyone else,
but no one in the world can take her place.

I have a Mother who has stepped in and has been the Friend that never leaves. I am old enough to value her time with me. I can't seem to attract those who will stay. I can't seem to attract those who believe in me. Yet, I am the richest girl because for all those areas of connection and commitment that I crave for, my Mother has stepped in and has been there for me.

I have been trying to bring my strengths out. I long to bring my passion into what I do for a living. I know that every time I share a personal writing of mine, my Mother is delighted and excited. I can tell in her eyes that she would love to see me surrounded in my 'babies'/ books. After sharing some of tears with her, I have decided to supplement my Mother's day gift with a book that I have written! My concept is a child's book. I would love to draw in some wonderful pictures that I have floating in my head but I really lack in the human form. It is a story about my birth and the gift of tulips my Daddy gave my Mommy in my honor. It is deep yet I hope I've kept the childlike wonder in it. It is just words inked on small papers to be tied up in a ribbon. I am anxious for her reaction...

I love my Mom.

the cough ...

I am feeling much better after hitting a very low point on Thursday. I have actually slept very well last night for the first time in a week and a half. Last Friday night I had no sleep and this past Wednesday no sleep until 3am. Pretty rough when trying to work. The cough has been torture with a throat on fire. I am very glad to report that the fire has gone out but the cough is in the embarrassing mode. The cough is continuous one after another. Tears come and the choking sounds begin. Hot sweat and grasping for breath makes for a folly and when it is in your favorite store to boot. HIDE!

barely the surface ...

Dear Heavenly Father,
I love You because You are there, a constant. You never waiver. You are Healing Physician. I am feeling low. Each day my throat has a new hurt. I know the medicine is healing it because I notice the slight changes. The cough is dry and hard. ARgh! It has been a long time since I have felt this bad. I can't seem to sleep solid because I need to breathe or the cough tears me awake.

I do seek a peace. I seek to survive the work week. I want to feel better!!!!!!! I know it will take time and You will be with me each step. Even if I can't talk, I can talk silently with You. Even if my thoughts are more slow and barely surfacing do to just getting through the next step, You understand my need to speak on screen or paper. You hold my dreams. I miss my deep thoughts!! But there is time to be in the moment in a simple shade and not the multicolored rainbow. I have a story I want to come alive... for a gift. Help! It isn't holding me.... You are a Perfect Author. Flow through my pen...

I love You. Thank You for loving me first and holding me close.
~always yours

it is so small ...

Wasn't sure what to write about and it could be due to the flucold I am battling. I did give in and took cough medicine. I did much better sleeping. But I struggling with the breathing part and when the med wore off, I just coughed and coughed. Now that I tidied up with a shower, my cough settled down. I feel maybe a bit better.

I saw this quote and decided that I would comment:

Nobody sees a flower really; it is so small.
We haven't time, and to see takes time
- like to have a friend takes time.
~Georgia O'Keeffe

Wow! Seems very pessimistic and unfortunately very true. You know the word friend has end in it. Why bother? I am sure we bother because of selfish means. I know I want some acceptance, approval, and a witness to my achievements. Don't we all? And don't we want someone around in the worse of times and not just the best?

I have Mom who is sick too. I've been chatting with her and in our dried up scratchy throats and feeling the pain together. However, living on my own I have no one to care for my ills. To be honest I was never babied when I was at home. It wasn't that Mom didn't love us. She did and she was there with an aspirin and hey, wash up - you will be feel better. I am not sure how she 'taught' us to be decent to live with even if you don't feel good, but she did. I wouldn't know what to ask for if I did have a living companion wanting to alleviate the down time. (Key being the companion wanting!) I did mighty well at being my own doctor tyvm! Besides finding over-the-counter meds to tackle what the throat w/o sugar, I make fruit smoothies for lunch and a excellent chicken, egg-drop, and barley soup for supper. Very yummy not only for the tummy but the throat is happy too.

Time. It is all about taking a time out for the important people in your life. Can you be the one to just chill in someone's down time? What happens if another wants to be babied? I know I couldn't. I had a roommate who had to be babied! I spent all my moments at the library! She wanted me to get her this and that when the this and that were in the bathroom one step from her bed! Hmm, what does that say about taking the time for someone? Oh dear.

It is so small or is it?

my grandpa L ...

From Thursday flu like systems to just having a throat on fire, not sleeping, and just a bit warm, I have no energy. I do have a small list of things to get done. I am keeping on top of the dishes and have swept the floor. I do plan on doing a load of wash. Fingers crossed! The other major project is for my mom for mother's day. She wants a shutterfly book of her parents. A big task! There are very few pictures and finding the pack pictures of my grandma as private nurse to a circus person is being allusive.

This set of my grandparents have been gone a long while. I do not know my grandpa because he died a year after I was born. However, I was his favorite and I love personal stories. Grandpa L was a boiler maker and he worked on the Battleship New Jersey and the USS Missouri. Before that he worked on a railway and before that drove a grocery truck around town. His parents died when he was still at home. They did in a horse carriage accident over a bridge in a storm. Grandpa L married his first wife who died while in childbirth of my Aunt Janet. Then Grandpa L married my grandma. I have the chest of drawers that he refurnished and strengthen with steel for my mom. He loved his caps and cigars. A famously funny that my mom loves to tell is how Grandpa L liked to take care of his cars. He made sure they were spotless. One day while on a drive, he decides to spit out the window. Well, the spotless window was super clean and was rolled up. My mom got into a bit of trouble for laughing at her daddy's mishap on the window!

Thought I would drop a few lines before I go off to shutterfly...

confrontation s.o.s ...

I admitted that one of my biggest weaknesses is CONFRONTATION and it just so happens that I heard a radio speaker talk about this issue. I of course was all ears to the point I was very excited and could not wait to hear the second installment the next day. The speaker is Tim Downs. (He is an author but when I went to google him there was another author Tim Downs whose books looked like novels. I don't think I found the right Tim Downs.) The bold print are Tim's thoughts...

You get into the most trouble in marriage in what is NOT said.
Wow! In most of my relationships I tread so carefully and keep things to myself. I don't say what I want to say. Often I find it good to be slow in speaking. Plus, it seems I get into more trouble when I finally do get the nerve up and say something. I even try to be good and kind. Doesn't matter. It is usually the deal breaker.

Man turns all emotions he doesn't understand into the one emotion he does know quite well -> ANGER!
Wow! Great insight! This makes it easier to understand man better. Being afraid of anger and knowing down deep about the need of outside help at times to tip the steam on the pressure cooker so that you don't explode all over others, I wonder how to make this work. I will tuck it back in my heart for later. I did have a conversation with x about anger and needing a mate to understand just will help tip the steam.... but never got to explore it with him. In fact the last thing I know about x was that he was dealing with anger....

God's Anger protests evil and protects Good.
Ooo, I like this picture! Simple and right on.

Divorce comes from the residue of the bitterness and resentment and anger.
I have residue buildup in my relationship with little bro because he forgot my birthday. It has already been a month. Sure, I know he is suppppppppppppppper busy but it sure makes me feel worthless. I have mulled it over and over wondering how to approach him on this. No matter how I try to it, I see him exploding all over. I hate high frequency pitches.

Depression can be the extreme form of anger.
I don't think it can be, I know it for sure. My melancholy came from not being able to use my voice and not being seen to have a brain. I had a joy epiphany and I had a relationship that I could really think aloud with another. But when that person got tired of my endless thoughts, I found a huge relief in writing in this little piece of space. I just don't look at the visitor count! I keep reminding myself that this is ultimately me sharing my God conversations and mental battles. God is paying attention whether or not any one else cares or not.

Ephs 4:15 = Loving confrontation - 'speaking truth in love'
Truth is the contents but love is the packaging. Become a packing expert.
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out this. I have a beef about little bro forgetting my birthday and wonder how to package this. I kept coming up with him ending up exploding. Not good. At this point I had to wait for the next day for the speaker to finish. Maybe I will have more tips to make a loving confrontation.

97% of conflict ends up as it started.
Hmmm, never noticed that. I will have to observe it. When you are in it, there is too much going on to catch it. I shall try to begin softly.

Men are more quick to run when they are angry.
Oh, just great!

list for before you begin:
1. check motivation - (is it love, understanding, repair?)
2. check attitude
3. check timing, pressure, place

Rules for during:
1. pray asking for wisdom - touch - pull up a third chair for God
2. focus on one thing/issue at a time
3. focus on the problem and behavior not the person or the character.
4. stick to specifics - never use never or always
5. men prefer words whereas women use the nonverbal for relationship clues
6. focus on understanding

End Game: apology and forgiveness
apology -> feel regret, take responsibility/own it, remedy
forgiveness ->humility, eagerness, grace
Picture the two as the apology as a box you put the issue in and forgiveness as the top you cover it with.

I did need to be reminded that men uses words and not what is going on around the words. Tim gave an excellent visual. He described it as a man coming home to his wife on the floor in the pool of blood asking what is wrong. She says 'I'm fine' in a sarcastic voice not believing the question! He wonders latter why she is so cold. He took her at her word.

Ahhh, I guess I am afraid of what I would say, how much I say, and if he could handle it all and still love and cherish me anyways. It seems there is such a disadvantage!

Funny how I owned up to my weakness of confrontation and help came my way. What you seek you shall find. Still a mystery but one I am willing to try. I am tired of losing out no matter what I do. It does seem I lose if I keep quiet or if I speak. So I will attack my how and make it better.

'Prayer: America's Strength & Shield ...

The LORD is my strength and my shield; 

my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: 

therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; 

and with my song will I praise him. 

Psalms 28:7

To be able to use your faith in the political process, to put all your hope in God even when the earth trembles and shakes, to still keep the JOY when everyone seems to attack, to keep up the fight in protecting the foundation that America was built on, I will keep rejoicing...

Thank You, Heavenly God for GWB. He has been sorely attacked from all sides yet he still keeps going. There is no sadness or depression. He keeps Your Word close and it is evident. I have been the one to struggle as I see the enemies fiery darts hone in on the him. However, I find great comfort in the Psalms especially the ones that King David has pinned. When certain little kings make splashes on the world front and against Your people, Psalms 83 is great solace.

Thank You, Lord for America. Being established upon Your Word gives us a great assignment to keep the faith. We have failed and our standing in You is slipping not because the Rock can be moved - NEVER, but because we have failed to stay behind Your Strength and Shield.

Thank You for loving me and never leaving me alone. I struggle as I try to find my dreams. I am strengthen by Your Word and I rejoice. May I contribute my best for YOU.

May 1st - Day of Prayer