Wednesday, September 26, 2007

no follow through ...

Emotions. Well, female emotions... I was going along having a pretty decent Saturday. Tidied the house - check. Took my weekly walk - check. Started to paint - bam. My emotions bottomed out. I had moments of tears. Come on! I am still taking my happy fish oil and been eating well. What could have triggered this? I living the single life don't have to deal with others bumping into me emotionally so it would seem that I was doing fairly well. Unfortunately these tears would drop me into a pit of aloneness. On Sunday good ol Mom was easy to confide in that my emotions had taken a turn for the worse. On Friday the me who was excited about the idea of finally doing the creme da la creme of craft shows could really happen this year just felt that the girl I had dropped seeds of hope would ultimately fail me like all the others. I was hoping she would do a table with me this year.

I want to do this craft show that is huge coming up the first weekend in December. I have already done two shows that went bust. I want a show that I can get rid of the glass that I live with every day in my small ever shrinking apartment. Mom can't because she has to work. I have dropped hints to my sister-in-laws and no bites. I can't do this show by myself, it is tooooo huge. I have prayed about it and really thought that on Friday, my belief and hope was coming true.

Now I just don't care. Funny thing too my mood lifted yesturday but it doesn't mean I am feeling alright about my passion. I do have a lot on my paint table right now. Now I got to dig deep for some gumption. Funny how I can say I am ok but when I go to write it out, I still get that twinge of grr slipping out everywhere...

Why is it that my biggest pet peeve is people who say stuff and never follow through? I know I am anal...

No comments:

Post a Comment