my thank yous '09

* God's Word * I started with verses written out on 3x5 cards back in 2003 when I lost my job the first time. Then I learned about 'butterfly wings' where something in the Old Testament is repeated in the New Testament so I started to search out butterflies in the Bible. (p.s. our lives should reflect the Word as Jesus Christ is the Word and we should be like Jesus.) Then I started carrying a New Testament around with me especially to work. 2007 was a job description change and the learning part was hard so I would go to the Word for encouragement. Then I would read Proverbs according to the day since there are 31 Proverbs. It was sooooo alive. Now back to the butterflies the more I read the more I find butterflies. This year with the jumbled up work mess, I began to read the Bible chronologically every day. In today's world I don't see the foundations of the churches out there being very strong especially for future generations. I in way am sensing the last days more so than ever before. Amazing enough I am longing for my HOME COUNTRY. With the church thing we as a family are at a cross roads as we think the pastor is not a true shepherd. With that I am soooo thankful that I know how to read and that I have my own copy of the Word. There was a time where the people where at the mercy of the pastors - not so any more. I am sooo thankful for the Holy Spirit. Being a Christian allows my soul to be open to the Holy Spirit teaching. * crochet - Amigurumi * I wanted to make granny squares because they were little but it wasn't enough for me to learn crochet while I had my Grandma. I did pick up the looms in about 2005 to knit things like hats and scarves and purses but I noticed that something online. It was these really cute tiny crochet toys. I was envious! I always loved the small things especially small stuff animals. I had a small stash when I was a little girl and as a big girl to make them? priceless. Problem: I do not know of anyone who was willing to take the time out to teach me. Plus, once a crocheter they never seem to know how to slow done enough to teach you and there you are left struggling with more frustration. So I would look longingly at the crochet book I had. Sometimes I would try and others times I would just turn my back on it. This past January after being able to see actual still pictures of crochet I could see what loops the hook was actually go in and out of. I finally accomplished it all by myself. I don't give credit to my brain rather the credit goes to God because I get so impatient and He is so patient. I would tell Him of my struggle and in time things came together. The other thing about Amigurumi is that it has been a really fun and interesting journey that has kept my heart occupied when my work path is sketchy. * work * I lost my accounts payable job in April and was called back to work in Costing. Sadly, I do not like my job but thanking God for my job has kept my head above water. It pays for the Amigurumi path and it feeds me. I have no right to complain. May was a mess because I couldn't get unemployment to work. I must remember to use what I learned in AP for my costing job - take my issues to God and He will see me through.... * Mom & Dad * I am so grateful for my parents. I remember how Dad really was a shoulder of strength when the costing job became available to me to me. He didn't tell me that it was wrong to feel mad that I would have do costing again! I love my Dad. Mom is always the confidant and friend. Even though we can't do our Friday outings, we have been able to connect with each other when I have my unemployment weeks. She always believes in me and my craft. * sitting with my niece * My niece has been sick on my unemployment weeks so I have been able to go care for her. I was unsure about my parent skills since I have no kids of my own. After hearing a Bible teacher talk about the right way of parenting, I took this with me and found it worked. However, just inviting God in on it is the most important. * the PUPPERS * I love my fury boys. Bobby, Andy, and Tink are so fascinating to work with and to love on. Their personalities are just so animated. We brought home bags this past Tuesday. Andy loves inspecting the bags. Tink wanted his cookie so after the quiet for the cookie was over, Andy went back to the bag. His little tail stump was just moving. He was soooo frantic. Then I realized that was the bag for the bones Mom had got for them. OH Boy, every one had to have their bones with my grumping to ward off unwanted company. Too funny. * bros & their fams * I love my bros. It is good to have brothers who you get along with. They are in the midst of growing their families and it is good to see them growing up. * God * When you seek Him, He reveals Himself. Being in the Word, He is so alive! I just can't get enough. I love it that I am more in love with Him than ever before and I want that love to be more and more as the years tick by...

08 thank yous

jottings ....

Just some writing exercises I did on Monday ...

Morning
early grey
Lucia is sick
I'm coming to her
Love.


Pottery
blue white
mountains, clouds, birds
simplistic lines, calming place
Inspiration.


Quiet
whirling heater
Lucia is napping
warming up my thoughts
Brainstorming.

heralding the love truth ...

As I was waiting for the diagnosis of the front passenger tire and feeling very caught up in being a single girl at the mercy of the male and struggling with how to communicate as a God-fearing woman, I dug out my Bible memory 3x5 cards. I rested upon Habakkuk 2:2-3.

"Write down the revelation
& make it plain on tablets so that the herald may run with it.
For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end & will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come & will not delay."

The 'revelation' part scared me a bit but as I thought about it like taking a glass cup and putting it to the light to inspect the clarity, I prayed for a small revelation about my impasse over the marriage for us vs marriage for him. Habakkuk is an Old Testament prophet who had complaints that he brought to God. Habbakkuk 2:2 is the beginning of God's answer. I know my complaint is different but I prayed this verse also knowing that in Dueteronomy 29:29 says:

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God,
but the things revealed belong to us
& to our children forever,
that we may follow all the words of this law."

I had been coming across a lot of verses about marriage being ALL about the man. I was getting these feelings that I never had before that a wife duty is to totally be a servant especting nothing in return. I began to wonder if I had allowed the world's phophosy mess up God's true intent. So I prayed Habakkuk 2:2-3.

With my small request of a revelation, I know it must speak of the end. To me it means that this speaks of what is Eternal. It may take time but the revelation comes at the right time. So I waited.

My wait ended that afternoon when I was listening to a Bible teacher say that a man is to love his wife. Yes, I already know this but the Holy Spirit prompted me to go over the love list in I Corinthians 13:4-8:

"Love is patient, Love is kind.
Love does not envy, Love does not boast,
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude, Love is not self-seeking,
Love is not easily angered,
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but Love rejoices in truth.
Love always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails."

Ok, that is a huge task! Even though the woman's respect list is short but wide, a man's love list is tall but very deep. But if you are the wife receiving this kind of Love, she is receiving a ton! If she is receiving all of this, then it isn't alllllll about giving and giving ...... Yes, there are times when a woman will give without much in return but it is far better then me beginning to think that there is NEVER a return.

So here is my small revelation and I herald it. It is so easy to get messed up. Just seek God and He always reveals the answer or Himself. Don't forget there will be God-Secrets that He will keep to Himself but what is revealed is ours.

to respect your man ...

I DO NOT have a problem with respecting a man. It is a God-Command for a good union. Plus, to 'fear' God means to honor and respect. I understand the lordship of Sarah with her man, Abraham. Because of this, first on requirement on my 'man-list] is that I must be able to follow the man's leadership. If you can follow his leadership, all the more you will be able to respect him.

Here I went and read a book that explains the respect issue a bit. I agree you must respect your man's thoughts, his words, his judgements, and his actions. What was very new to me was the respecting his ''figuring it out for himself''. Uh oh! This could be a mine field! My experience has been with moody ones that quiet up or ditch you. How do you steer away from their 'figuring out' when in discussion over issues and problems? Not a clue! (BTW how do we get in trouble over suggestions when in our own issues that all we want is an ear and they are there with all kinds of suggestions......then if you get mad or don't take their advise you disrespect???? grrr.)

There was two examples of when the boys are in the figuring out stage. One was when they are out driving. They don't really want directions. They want to figure it so girls just enjoy the ride. It his adventure and he wants to share it with you. I get this. My father loves Sunday drives. We are amazed at all his know how when it comes to driving w/o maps. I have map skills and not afraid to tackle going to a new place. In fact I have travelled to a neighboring state allllll by myself w/ maps but I did it! The second example is of a man with all the entertainment components all over the floor and taking all day to hook things up. I am a tinkerer myself so there are few house projects I could do on my own so I really need to watch this. Can I ask to take up certain responsibilities w/o him getting his ego miffed? Say a wife wants the towel bar fixed in the bathroom and it goes days. The wife thinks and sees that she can fix it and gets the screw gun or the glue out and fixes it. Disrespect? Yikes. These examples are kind of on the lighter side but are very dangerous for man bashing.

But what about the super serious stuff like if the man is dealing with work issues that are beating him down? What if he turns melancholic and into a slow burn? These are issues. These need figuring out. It is sooooo hard to sit on the sidelines with a sock in the mouth in order to control the urge to burst forth with 'help'. I am so upset about this because I thought I had the respect issue down and here my whole world got messed up when I thought I had it neat and orderly.

A couple finishing thoughts....
'Anger is expressed when they are disrespected.' <-- a clue!
'Nagging and repeated requests is disrespect.' <-- a personal clue

Some personal rules I made for myself to follow:
1. Never put down - always build up.
2. Never ever tell them what to do! <-- general rule for all peeps
3. Woman is the man's helpmate - never ever the other way around.

I am so messed up because I thought a marriage union was all about the us but of late it seems it has to be all about him....

teamship ...

When it comes to marriage, I had this theory that it was a team where you had each other's back and you had a common goal (successful marriage and successful partnership). It would be work but work you wanted to do with each other. It would be a team where there was 100% give and take on both sides. There would be no trying to win over the other nor would there be stealing the show. It is a team.

However, my theory was challenged first by 'woman was made as a helpmate for the man' not the other way around. Meaning that the woman really shouldn't hope for things in the team? The second challenge comes in the form of respect. I greatly know that the Bible says a woman is to respect her man. I get that but there is a respect needed for when a man needs to figure something out on his own. For example, the taking off without directions and not nagging him to get directions. I get this. I have a father who loves the Sunday drive and just taking it in is part of the adventure. But like when he when he takes apart something or you must WAIT for him to take apart something to fix and it takes all day. You are suppose to respect him and let him figure it out with out words. Oh, and when can you take on something or fix something for the team... The third challenge is the words ...... I am quiet by nature but I am a thinker and I do need to use a lot of words and I fail here......

Anyways, I cannot give up on my teamship theory just yet but I have added another 'team' picture. It is where the man is out on the hockey rink (the sport I like more than football & greatly more than baseball=) and woman is the fan in the stands cheering on and never bad mouthing the team. Now is to figure out when it 'together we face the world' or the 'hockey player and fan' type of team...

touch, a woman's sexual desire ...

Swindoll was on the topic of King David seeing bathing Bathsheba. I know that sexual desire grabs men through visual but what I didn't know was that sexual desire grabs women through touch! Really? I am a girl I should know this! So like my typical self, I start going though my journey looking for the trigger points so that I don't fall off the edge. If you don't SAFEly test where your weak places are, you will be sabotaged. When you pick yourself up from the fall out, you will berate yourself for not living as purely as possible with your relationship with God.

So what about touch? I definitely do not like people getting into my personal space. I went though a spell where I would pull away from my own father's hugs. That was because I was a teenager just not wanting to be bother because I was mad over something. I also went through a time where wonderful perfumed granny's at church would hug on me so I decided that I would be the first to hug on them every Sunday. Problem was that I carried their perfume with me in the form of a HA. I dislike hovering of any type especially in the checkout lanes. So how is touch going to be take me down in sexual desire?

Well, I spoke of uncomfortable touch. So if I am that sensitive over my space, what if it is comfortable touch? When I read the book on the "Five Love Languages", I knew right way that WORDS was my thing and TOUCH was the farthest. However, over the course of an alone journey, touch is very important to me. (All five love languages are important in every person's life. To best love is to be fluent in all five love languages.) My word tank is a huge tank. Lets say my word tank is 25 gallons. My other four tanks would be 1 gallon. But having just one of the tanks become empty, the engine fails. Being a loner makes for a tank that needs constant care and watch or there is critical arrest.

My TOUCH tank could very well be more than a gallon. Over this life journey with my Heavenly Father what I cherish the most is His Arms! When I am at the lowest lows, I often pull the covers up tight up to my nose and turn out the lights and let the mind's screen pull up the God holding tight in His Muscular Bare Arms to the point you can't see me and to where His Heart Beat is so loud that it quiets all my troubles. So I could see that if a man ever dared to approach me in this way no matter how small compared to God's, I could be wooed. Wow, touch is a woman's sexual desire! What girl doesn't want to be protected? Arms holding you in when you are falling apart tell you that you are still loved and still cherished and will be protected. mmmmm... yessss .... touch is very desirable!

I had an experience once with a guy whose love language was touch. This was a LDR so trying to speak his love language was a huge challenge. I felt as though I really never reached his heart. I feel that REDEEMED 'touchers' need to allow friends to touch them via the mind, heart, and soul and not just the physical. Honestly, I am afraid to touch the opposite sex. (AND IT IS A HEALTHY RESPECTFUL fear because I know the dangers.) I guess I didn't realize that this healthy respectful decline of touching a male other than the handshake is a 'protectent' for my girly heart.

I am glad that Swindoll said this in passing. I really needed this mental note. I probably will have more to learn...
What about touching via words? ....

teething vamp teeth ...

To see a grey space surrounded by white teeth and white roots on an x-ray made my untrained eye strain hard as my heart began to sink. No wonder the dentist had his own mystified response. He pointed out the grey showing me the root in back nice and tall then pointed out the medium sized root then to the grey area where just a nub of a root was sitting oh so very close to the gum line. This nub of a root of course was from the tooth being banded when I had braces to fix my buck teeth. The reason for taking this x-ray was to find the cause of this mysterious pain that I have been having for a week and a half. Now with this new knowledge, I think I have been having this pain off and on for a while.

So what does pain feel like? You can touch the actual teeth without pain. It is more of an internal pain that shoots up. I couldn't isolate it very well because it seems to move around from top to bottom (crazy brain!). I have major receding gum lines due to the cement for the braces being left on my teeth and not cleaned off. Therefore the gums where irritate and pulled away. So I thought something was happening with these very sensitive teeth. To better explain the pain and what I am feeling it is like growing vampire teeth and to massage the pain away it is like wanting to teeth these vamp teeth on an iced baby teething ring. The reason I am calling them vamp teeth is because now after all the poking and prodding of my teeth, I am feeling the pain on both sides. I should have had an x-ray on the other side to see how that tooth is holding up.

What to do now? I have prescription toothpaste to buildup the teeth if possible plus desensitize the pain. Other than that I need to wait for it to die. The dental hygienist warned me that if the pain becomes unbearable to call the dentist any time of day so he can call in a prescription. Meaning the tooth has become infected and it will be time for the extraction and an implant! So it must mean I have to deal with the pain...? Well, if the toothpaste does the job maybe the pain will go away....? Good news is that the dentist can do this in his office and I won't have to pay the high fees of an oral surgeon.

to hum away my sorrow ...

I find that when my spirits are low and I am doing something that drains me even more, humming hymns are the only thing my feeble brain can do to calm the deep dark waters.  It is one of the few things I can do while I am doing something else like my job.  I have always said that I can’t do two things at once so this is true when humming an old hymn, I just cannot think of those negative thoughts that come to sabotage my life.

 

I surely will need to hum a lot today as I am stuck in a place I don’t understand … my heart is breaking … but God is my Lifeline and I will hold on for dear life…. Humming….

deep waters vs bubbling brook ...

I am quiet my nature.  Because I think too much and my tendency of not being able to do two things at once, it looks like I am tongue tied because the words running around in my head fail to trip off my tongue in a nice easy way.  This is a good thing as my foot doesn’t tend to be in my mouth.  I am also a listener where I don’t try to think of what I want to say while my ears are listening (see, can’t think and listen either!)  So when Peter tells the woman how to win her husband’s heart and soul by being beautiful through a gentle tranquil quiet heart and no words, I get it and it doesn’t seem too hard for me. 

 

I Peter 3:4

Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart,

With the incorruptible beauty

Of the gentle and quiet spirit,

Which is very precious in the sight of God

 

However, I have been hearing this verse quite a bit lately.  I am feeling guilty.  This quiet girl hasn’t been quiet enough!  I am caught striving (Prov 20:3), fretting (Prov 19:3), asking too many of the wrong questions, and not truly accepting God at His Word.  My waters have become deep and dark instead of the bubbling brook as God would have me to be (Prov 18:4).

 

I desire to be more tranquil, more gentle, more sage, more simple, more smiles, more peaceful, more still, more joyful, more God-trusting, more calm, more of the bubbling brook, more precious in the sight of God.  I may not be a raving beauty on the outside, but I aspire to be wildly beautiful on the inside.

 

*

Proverbs 20:3

It is honorable for a man to stop striving,

since any fool can start a quarrel.

 

Proverbs 19:3

The foolishness of a man twists his way,

& his heart frets against the Lord.

 

Proverbs 18:4

The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters,

the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook.

 

*

 

better single or together ...

So it seems there are some girls who find they are a better person single than in a relationship. They can be successful and travel and be the life of the party without being tied down. Or maybe they can be the strong independent woman without their 'these boots are made for walking' leaving tread marks over the man's ego.

Then it seems there are some girls who find they are a better person in a relationship than alone. It is like they can come to full bloom because he is her stem. She feels more beautiful... more woman... God made her a nurturer and being a wife allows her to do so.

do not grieve!

A favorite verse of mine is found in Nehemiah 8:10 "The Joy of the Lord is my Strength." Like with any learning in a believers life, our 'learnings' are like a continual theme in our lives spiraling upwards like new waves of an old truth. Today I read the surrounds verses / story to this verse! (Good to have favorite verses but always read the surrounds!)

The Israelites were mourning their sins as the Book of the Law was read. Their eyes were being open to God's chasing love for them and seeing how He continues to love them. The Israelites decided to get their lives right with God. Nehemiah seeing their sadness told them "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is scared to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the JOY of the Lord is my Strength." Neh 8

Isn't this something? Turning back to God is scared and time for celebration! Tears of sadness are replaced with tears of JOY!!! LOVE THIS! mmmmmm!

cursed blessings ...

I have been reading through the prophets in the OT. Oh, the warnings about bad shepherds have really grabbed at my heart. These times seemed to be full of false prophets and misleading teachers and those who use half truths or water down the message. I have this ache for the Whole God-Truth to be told. I want to snatch those I can from the fires.... Being a NT believer I am a priest. I must obey .... I must honor ... in a time where it is not favored...

"And now this admonition is for you, O priests. If you do not listen, and if you do not set your heart to honor My Name," says the Lord Almighty, "I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings. Yes, I have already cursed them, because you have not set your heart to honor Me." Malachi 2:1-9

eternal torment vs earthly suffering ...

I just want to be very clear.... We are living in an age where the Message is misrepresented and misused. I am sitting in the pew squirming and having a rebuttal well up in my outraged heart. Ink is running as fast as I can move it across the paper.... I am an English Major and if what was preached today was on an Essay Test, I would have to give it an F for the lack of comprehension. I was floored that this 'shepherd' had got this out of the passage of Scripture!

Luke 16:19-31 is about the Rich Man and Lazarus. The sermon was about compassion we should have. Her question was how are we like the rich man lacking compassion for the beggar at our gate.

Lets just boil this Scripture to the very core! This is about eternal torment vs. earthly discomfort. If you want to preach about compassion using this Passage then you better be preaching about God's Saving Compassion for us! Like my Dad has said that it is like the church wants to make everyone comfortable in the pew so lets not talk about sin and hell but what about saving them from the burning fires of hell?

I could go on and on about what this scripture means in such detail to exhaust all possible meat one would be able to glean from this Holy Word but it would never touch on how we are like the rich man lacking compassion for the beggar at the gate. There are other great passages on giving human compassion. What comes to my visual mind is a so-called shepherd at the gate of the fold of sheep pacifying us with fake water. Where is her compassion? I have a co-worker that I am trying to plant God-seeds in her life. All the church is providing is junk food? I want Living Water!

This year I am most thankful that I can read and that I have the Living Word to read and that I have the Holy Spirit guiding my heart and soul..... We must be watching! We are called to be the Watchmen! We must tell the Truth every time we hear the half truths. I was bursting at the seams with this.....

valued & loved ...

Ravi Zacharias told a beautiful story today that I wanted to keep in my heart but most importantly to share it with a co-worker who gets weary being a devoted divorced mom to two high functioning Autistic boys. Plus, another way to share God to her...

Ravi was flying somewhere and read about a silk school in Japan. He was so intrigued by the story of one boy who wanted to weave waves of silk to cover all the oceans. Ravi decided to check out this school for himself. He discovered that all the students of this silk school were Down Syndrome kids.

Ravi got to meet the young man who weaves waves of silk and other artwork. He also got to meet the mother. This mother was so proud of her son and conveyed a very moving story. Foreigners are willing to pay top dollar for his art and this young man is excited to had over every bit of it to his mother saying 'thank you for being here. With you here, I am here to make this art and give this money to you.'

Ravi goes on to say that we are here as well because God values us. How heavy is that? Am I living, giving, sharing, delighting with a God-Joy that I am eager to rightfully give God the credit? Do I truly know my worth to Him? Or am I in the mud mucking about? God gave His Only Begotten Son to pay for my sins! Huge value placed upon my head.... Am I giving Him honor in all that I love to do? and even in the mundane stuff?

( I hope I remember the story right. Must remember to get the podcast to hear it again.)

Ravi Zacharias

Love Happens ...

I would rate this movie a 9. It is a movie about pain and moving through it. There is love thrown in the mix but what was nice about it was that there was no bedroom scene. The main character is an author who wrote about his personal loss of his wife and how to move through it but it is all a lie as he will not face his own fears head on. Then you have the girl who is a bit quirky with her really cool flower shop. She is like a breath of fresh air and not pushy or needy. Her van is cute. What got this English degree was her love for words (poppysmic) and special notes on her flower cards. (Love her graffiti words!)

It takes place in rainy Seattle, Washington so you will get to see the sites like the Space Nettle and the place where people leave their chewed up gum. I had seen something about this somewhere and so it was cool to see it as a backdrop in the movie. Oh, it isn't gray movie due the rain because there are sunny days too.

This is a must see movie. It is enjoyable. Aaron Eckhart is becoming a favorite actor. Beautiful story. I guess it is a chick flick or a love story but I think it a bit more.

disclaimer:
Language could always be cleaner. How we waste our language.

'o-tay?'

I spent four days with my little niece who has pneumonia. She is two years old and has a great imagination. I totally enjoyed her imagination as I didn't have to come up with something new for her. She always had something new to pretend. One afternoon she made me ice cream. She was saying big words like strawberry and vanilla. Her 'o-tay' was so addictive that I had to mimic her! While doing a potty break, we where playing with spiders. We were walking mommy spider, baby spider, and daddy spider down the wall, across the floor, up the waste basket, and over to her. We played in the kitchen and colored. She is a talker!

On the last day, I was a bit tired because of getting up early and a 45 minute drive to her house. So having her fall asleep in my arms for her morning nap was very delightful. Another delight was to hear her say 'I like you.' What a beautiful child. It helps too that I can see me in her.

It was also nice to have God show me how to 'parent' and then allow me the workshop to see it work.. We have muddle up parenthood that I had become quite frustrated with the whole thing. I felt with some of the baby-sitting I did as a teen and later with teaching that I just wasn't a leader and plus way to strict for this generation thing.... but these four days have shown me that with God, I can be a good parent...

seeds for the sower ...

I think this is the verse I am searching for in my seed sowing with a co-worker....

"Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for the food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness..." II Cor 9:10

I have been listening to this co-worker of mine make statements some in favor of God and some statements in disbelief of the Word. When I hear these half truths, my heart stirs up and I feel moved that I should stand up for God. I am not one who likes a discussion. I just don't do that well at all. Most times a discussion feels like a fight and I don't want that here.

I have known for a great while now that you cannot tell someone what to do and found a book that showed how asking the right question honors another and makes them do all the work! I have used this on myself with good results but have not much practice with others. So I have talked with God about my co-worker and have practice asking questions with God. Now to wait for her to bring it up again.

I listen to BNN (you can listen too anywhere in the world also in 8 languages). As she sat down to chat, good ol Adrian Rogers was talking about sinners. She just started talking about the church class she went to on Wednesday and the spiritual journey they where discussing. So I began with my first question ... 'You believe in God but you feel that the stories of the Bible are embellished?' She would talk and then I would ask more questions where I saw the half-truths. She allowed me to think and ask questions. I know that isn't normal!

I do believe she is seeking but the answer to one of my questions was that she is not willing to give over the controls to God to be her Lord, Master, and Saviour. She feels that God is gracious enough that He will take her confession before her death.... Yikes! Works keeps coming up and I keep telling her it is a gift....

I greatest hope that my questions nag at her heart so that she is uncomfortable with her place with God and that she will do something about it. I know the Message can be a stench to the unbeliever and a fragrance to the believer (II Cor 2:14-17). I don't want to turn her off to God. I don't want to come off that I know it all ....

I need your prayers for the 'seed' to increase and bloom....

Rest on Thee

1. We rest on Thee, our Shield and our Defender;
We go not forth alone against the foe;
Strong in Thy strength, safe in Thy keeping tender.
We rest on Thee, and in Thy Name we go.

2. Yea, in Thy Name, O Captain of salvation!
In Thy dear Name, all other names above;
Jesus our Righteousness, our sure Foundation,
Our Prince of glory and our King of love.

3. We go in faith, our own great weakness feeling,
And needing more each day Thy grace to know:
Yet from our hearts a song of triumph pealing;
We rest on Thee, and in Thy Name we go.

4. We rest on Thee, our Shield and our Defender:
Thine is the battle, Thine shall be the praise
When reigning in the Kingdom of Thy splendor;
Victors, we rest with Thee, through endless days.

http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/881

The hymn sung the night before Jim Elliot and the other 4 missionaries went to visit the Incas and were killed.

This is my first encounter with this hymn and I want to keep in close to my heart. Now to hear it sung or to find the music notes …

me a Tree of Life???

I remember back to my Geometry class where you build upon the equation till you get the answer. I think that is true with God's Word. Truth built upon truth.

I found a butterfly = Proverbs 11:30 & Galatians 5:22-23! (God repeating Himself OT to NT / mirrored images like butterfly wings). My first thought was an excited wow and it like proving a Geometry problem...

1. The Fruit of the Righteous is a Tree of Life,
and he who wins souls is wise. ~ Proverbs 11:30

2. ... the Fruit of the Spirit is
love, joy, peace,
longsuffering, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control ... ~Gal 5:22-23
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So the Fruit of the Righteous is the living out of the Fruit of the Spirit.

So if we are living a pure and clean life in the fruit of the Spirit,
then our pure living is 'Life Fruit' for the unbelievers
and can bring them to the Saviour....

I love this! As I go to work and see the broken lives of certain people, I wonder at how I can reach them. I bring this to God asking for strength with my feeble words. Yet, maybe this living the Fruit of the Spirit is the best outreach where my words fail.

I love how God works because when I seek, He always finds me and delights me with Treasure...

When You said, "Seek My Face,"
my heart said to You,
"Your Face, Lord, I seek."
~ Psalms 27:8

lost ....

When I woke up yesterday I wondered what I would feel being it was September 11th. With feet on the floor to begin a new day, I wasn't feeling much but as the day wore on and I let my mind travel back through the memories. What really made me weepy was the relationship lost. I remember clearly that day was a day you wanted to make sure all the loves in your life was accounted for and you went down the list checking off their ok. One particular relationship I had to wait a while because he was reachable. He did check in but his habit of checking out littered our relationship until today he has checked out for good.

I am not one who goes into a relationship for a reason or a season. I view all my relationships as lifetimes or at least I try. As a believer, I think we really should understand that we touch other's life for a lifetime. We will see the 'brotherhood' in heaven. I doubt very much this comes to mind but it should! That is why I still pray for this 'brother'. I shall see him one day. I don't know what that day will hold. I had wished for arms outstretched and big hugs around but I just might think of the missed riches we both could have had. Or maybe just seeing the power of my feeble prayers working out a strong faith in him will wipe away all wistful tears.

So yeah, yesterday was full of prayers and tears for a personal lost on a day of national lost. Through it all I 'talked back' that I am not alone and that my Foundation is Sure. I am loved and sung over. I am not alone! And it is a lifetime endurance run. Don't forget to keep the eyes on the Eternal....