It is Valentines and my heart is breaking. Fourteen years ago two little furry rat terriers came into our lives after the loss of our dear Sammy. Fourteen months ago Bobby's brother Andy died and now Bobby.
The brown in Bobby's face was swiftly becoming white. He was getting a bit blind. He couldn't twirl anymore on bare flooring. On carpet it was getting slower. With this winter's blistering cold, he struggle to keep warm so we thought up a coat out of sweatpants legs. Bobby was always hungry but eating seems too much. We prayed that he could wait for spring. I thought he was doing much better but last night I got word that he died of a heart attack. Tink and Bobby went out to go to the bathroom. Bobby was at the door and then he wasn't. That quick he was gone.
Bobby was a baby always wanting to be babied. We didn't mind. He wanted to be petted always. He would give you those baby eyes. He was a worrier. He didn't want you to forget to feed him or to give him cookies. He always wanted to be near you. If you were making the actions of leaving, he would take your socks and gnaw on them. He may have sad eyes but he always had a smile. When excited, he would twirl and twirl.
I guess him leaving right before Valentine's Day of a heart attack seems very fitting for a very loving pup. By him always wanting your love, you could forget about the world. You were wanted and needed. Pretty nice.
We knew he was winding down and we were holding our breath. Andy had a cancer inside and his leaving was very hard. We didn't think we could go through it again. Andy had an enduring personality. Bobby wouldn't be able to do it nor would we be able to handle it. God was good in taking him so quickly even with the snow being so thick. Dad and brother was able to lay him to rest.
Mom texted me this evening saying she was missing her couch buddy and my tears welled up again. I know like with Andy the tears will flow less and the ache mellow and the sadness is laced with happy memories and yes, you want to hold him again and to have him twirl again.... but you quiet your emotions that the God of good gifts has a grander plan than I can know.
Just maybe after all the big end of the world things happen, that when I walk out into the Heaven's grand garden and pause... there Andy will be. One moment he is looking at me with his handsome masked face and the next he will be jumping in my arms with his kisses. My hands will catch a firm smooth tank body with no lumps and bumps to remind me of sin's curse. Of course there will be Bobby finally enjoying the no allergy air twirling and smiling and wanting to get on the action. I will get down on the ground and have a good pupinator tussle getting my fill of kisses and love... continuing my rejoicing of good gifts given and taken away...
