Armor of Light

"The night is far spent, the day is at hand:
let us therefore cast off the works of darkness,
and let us put on the armour of light."
I Pet 4:7

Armor of Light got my mind twirling on this! It is like have a super power but in truth it is God-Power. I don't have to let stuff get me in a mental soul shaking bind.

Yesterday I had a headache that was turning quickly into making me sick. Instead of the itchy eyes and running nose my allergies mimic my food allergy headaches. This isn't good when trying to identify where the headache is coming from. Then I am wondering if I should take Zyrtec because my symptoms aren't listed on the box. I think the drainage is backstage and so I take them. I second guessed myself so I did go off yesterday.... Welllllll, back on today.

Anyway a situation came up at work on Mondayand while others are falling apart, I just sort of let roll and not dwell on it. Yesterday it was harder to do because I was in such pain. I had a lowpoint and then moved on. As I traveled home I brought up the Armor of Light with God. I need to remember my 'God-Power' more readily so that the lowpoints never keep me down.

my love story is best!

"The best love story is your own."

I heard this and it stuck with me. At first I argued with it that the Best Love Story Ever was God sending His Beloved Son to die for my sins. Yes, this is true. Yet, as I continued to think about this I know too that my love story is better those I like to listen and see. See I am a big sap when it comes to how you might have met your love. I love to a good love story! Hmmm, nothing compares to my own. But you say that I am single what possible love story do you have?

True on the outside I am the loner (not for the lack of trying to make friends) and a misfit. I do not go with the crowd. I have really big thoughts. I am super tenacious to a fault and can't figure out why others fail to have staying power. Sadly, this has been from when I was a little girl whose only friends where her books and her bike.

Well, through the years Jesus Christ has been my Romancer and Husbandman. He choose me. He is my Alpha and Omega. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is Faithful and True. He is my Great Shepherd. Psalms 18 is the best part of my love story!

{happy sigh} How my heart glows!

leaning NOT defeated!

betty: "Why didn't you want to tell us that your cancer is back?"

sally: "Well, it felt like I lost and that the cancer won. It doesn't help that I am angry and sad and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. Plus, I am just plain tired. I tired of not feeling good, not being able to work, not being able to be out and about. I am tired of over thinking and wondering how the bills will be paid. I am tired of not having my hair and feeling bloated. I just wanted to conquer this. I wanted to at least make through this first bout free of cancer. It didn't even work!" {sobs}

~~~~~~~~~~

No, this isn't a real conversation but I am trying to get into the skin of a co-worker who didn't want others to know that her cancer is back and back meaner and stronger. As I have gone to the mat to pray, something bubbles up inside my heart whispering that illness of any kind is not a life sentence but rather a journey. Hey, anything in life should be considered a journey. I have to remind myself of this very thing in my own situation where I am not doing my dreams. This too is a journey.

A believer has it going for them because the Almighty God has planned the journey ahead of time just designed for us. He has gone before and goes with us! Whispering "Do NOT fear. Be not discourage!" If only we would listen. Duet 31:8

How do you tell a non-believer of the hope inside? I find it most difficult to encourage a non-believer, because I base everything on the the Word. Maybe again, it just about living out my faith with the God-Given JOY He gives...

I can understand not wanting to tell anyone about the cancer coming back. I know I would feel very defeated. I hope that I would pick myself up and realize that it isn't about losing to cancer. It isn't even about beating it. Rather it is about leaning on the Almighty Arms. It is about Him being my Tour Guide and letting go of all my control. {ok, here it goes...} To for once just enjoy the adventure He for me. I am big on learning and with every journey there are lessons to learn tucked in every corner. Now if I could just remember all of this when I am lying flat on my back wondering what just ran me over!

One thing for sure is that even if she doesn't know that I know, I can pray to the One Who knows all things. Praying trumps cards and well wishes... it even trumps my feeling helpless in figuring out how to encourage her.... it is human nature to reach out... and for now praying is all I can do...

NOT ALONE even in death!

Last week Mom was telling me about a phone call with her sister. The sister was bring up the past and making Mom feel bad for not being there when Grandma died. Grandma L did way back in the early 90's and today is the 2010. My Aunt has been like this all of her life while Mom has been the brunt of her older sister's verbiage.

After the conversation with Mom, I was thinking about it and the story of King David and the lost of his son with Bathsheba that I read two weeks earlier came to mind. Do you remember what he did? When his baby son was struck ill, King David pleaded with God, would not eat, spent nights lying on the ground. However, on the seventh day the son died, David got up and cleaned up and WORSHIPED THE LORD and then ate food. The servants could not understand this. They thought the death would send David over the edge. Get this: David said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought , 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let my child life.' but now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."(II Sam 12:23) Read the whole account in II Sam 11-12:23 & Ps 51.

I found King David's words very comforting to me as I was manning the phone when Grandma was ready to go. I could have made the rushed call telling my parents to get home fast. But in my young adult mind, it takes two hours to get to Grandma from home and my parents were away on a weekend vacation they rarely take. Grandma hadn't been herself for a while. She just was quiet and stared into space. I highly doubted that they would have gotten back in time to see her pass. So this many years later, it was good to read this and share this Mom. We couldn't keep Grandma here nor did we want to. This earth is not our homeland (Hebrews 11:13-16) and why would we want to keep her from going in the Arms of Jesus to her inheritance? Plus, in due time we will be going to her.

I know that some feel the strong need to be there in the final breaths while others do not what to carry this visual in their minds when all they want to remember are the good memories, the life not the end! Some people are blessed to have people surround them in their death while others die alone. Then I had the thought that when you are a believer that you are already walking with the Lord and you are not alone even in death. What a BLESSED thought!

floating in my toy boat ...

I've been in a real funky place. I know who I am and I am ok with with where I am even though it is not the place of my dreams I'm not really sad even though it is ever so close. I'm not angry but frustration is ever near. It is hard to describe because I am for the most part happy.

I just thought of the best picture to describe this muck. Oh yeah, I am still using dial-up because of the cost of DSL and all the other high priced options. However, the speed is sooooooo slow! I have all these tabs open which of course doesn't help but I wait and wait for pages to open up so when one opens I read while I wait for others. I search a lot for my craft and I want to blog and then sites act up... so on and so on.... I don't work with my favorite picture sites because the time it takes is unreal! Now try searching for DSL and it laughable.

This is how I feel in my real life. I have this passionate creative side that is being pulled and slowed down my day job and by feelings of not having enough time to create and take care of my home. My mind thinks and daydreams at work of things to create and make or write about but when I get home the tick of the clock is loud and fast. I know I am doing much more with my time than I did before I learned to crochet but it doesn't smooth over this need for my creative side to shine.

I know it just isn't about my passion but about just little old me. I have these emotions that come from inside. I know this is normal because I am a woman but this isn't that emotion that comes in cycles. This emotion seems to have settle in now that the 40's are here. I'm just NOT having it! However, I know if I power through it than I will be having major issues. So I will not bark up that tree! I would rather get into a toy boat and just float down this patch of river with ease and style. I shall take this as a new adventure!

Last week I was really having a time of the blues. I took Matthew 12:29-30 to prayer. I sent Jesus Christ to answer the front door when the evil one's harsh and persistent knocking was too much for me. I stayed hidden away from view reading the passages of God's great care and design for me. Psalms 139 is a great place to start. I then pulled the covers up over my head and fell asleep instead of crying! Now that was a God-Victory!!!

flower looms ...

I didn’t think I could do it!!! I was fighting the urge to keep instead of the original plan to give away.  I took it this simple desire to God…. I wanted to the right thing…

 

I went to the local thrift shop and I scouted out the craft area looking for flower looms for the girl at work.  I have some modern day flower looms of my own and have dabbled in them and really want to do more on these looms.  I have some patterns for flower looms that I showed crafty girl at work and she fell in love with the idea of making them as hair clips and even for hemp wrist bands that she dabbles in.   She also loves old things and the modern flower looms can be a bit high in price.  So finding flowers looms at the thrift shop would be just perfect.  I didn’t think I would be so fortunate to find them but I would look anyways.  What do I see before my sparking eyes did appear?   Not just one but two different sizes of round flower looms.  One is a double loom which gives you the option of three different sizes of flowers.  Then to top it off with a cherry was the double square flower loom!  She is leaning for the circle loom but one must have a square one too!  The price is the kicker and the reason I had a funny urge to keep these flower looms for myself instead of the original plan to give them to her.  The circle flowers looms were .70 cents.  The square one with other tidbits came to .75 cents.  These cheap prices are unheard of!  Oh dear!

 

I told God about my feelings and asked for help to do the right thing.  I have my own flower looms.  I do not need more but the pennies I paid made the find so much richer for me.  Well, what would I do?

 

I already had a gift of painted glass for her with some odds-and-ins she needed for her craft habit.  I wasn’t going to add the flower looms in that gift until I scouted out what she found in her own search over the weekend.  Well, when she came down to express her thanks for the glass, she brought up the flower looms and I found she hadn’t found anything so enter in me actually showing her what I found.  She was excited and when I heard that little notion of her giving them back, I said oh, that is for you, a gift! 

 

I did it!!!! …. I gave her the flower looms!!!!  It feels good to give and that notion of keeping them will pass.  Now will I keep looking for flower looms in thrift shops and be disappointed….. or maybe I can still be thrilled by it again…. But nothing happens twice the same way….

 

I am very happy though because she is too.

the Last Song ... part two

Well, the movie was NOT as good as the movie. I thought Nicholas Sparks (author) wrote the book/movie together or something but the story line in the movie failed to keep it straight.

The book had stronger and deeper emotions between the father and the daughter which made it pull hard your heartstrings. There was a ton of discord over the piano and the movie never got close to the anger pent up in the daughter. The divorce between the parents was exposed at the end which showed how the father covered for her mother taking all the grief when it was not his fault. Then there is the the friendship between the father and the paster that never made the movie. The Bible reading never made it either.

... I could go on and on...

What frustrates me as a writer-want-a-be and very much a visual learner is why can't movies be more like the books especially with good authors? Movies have a way of touching me that books fail to because I have a hard time imagining yet in a bizarre way, I actually visualize my story or my poem before I can put it to words. It has to go together. To be a good author I would think they are being 'movie directors' with their stories to make a good book. I was not happy about this movie because the book was so much better.

Mom didn't read the book and thought is was good but when she heard me grumble she said she is going to have to read the book....

bummer....

the Last Song ...

I read Nicholas Sparks because he rips out your heart every time but in "The Last Song" he more than rips out your heart. I swear this book made me cry more than all his other books combined. Supposedly, he wrote this book from the movie or at the same time, so I am expecting the movie to follow the book pretty closely. I can't wait to see the baby turtles and the stain glass window!!!!!

For the young girl this is a story about a summer love. For the grown woman it is a story of a girl growing up and her father's love and admiration for her. I believe that a young girl will have to read it again as she journeys into womanhood. It holds a treasure that will take on a different reflection depending on where you are at in your own journey. I am a keeper. I am a sensitive. I treasure moments in my heart. This book challenges you to double check your relationships and not to take any one of them for grant.

A father wants his kids to come down south to his house for the summer. Enters a grumpy girl of 18 who hasn't talked to her father for 3 years and her kid brother who is soooo funny and a bit wise. Dad teaches his son how to make a stained glass window for the church and dad stops playing the piano just to make his daughter happy. But the girl spends a lot of time away. If you know Nicholas Sparks, you pick up on the dark looming on the horizon. Note: Mr. Sparks writes about real life. This will not be wrapped up neatly in a bow and a box. He does leave you with possibles of love continuing... {smiles}

Threaded though out is the father's search of the Presence of God. Nicholas Sparks only touches on faith as a character trait but never fleshes faith out in the fullest. With every book I try to decide what he is up to and sadly, I don't think he fully knows the Salvation and vibrant life in Jesus Christ. This book he was sooooo close and I physically ached for him to get it right. I do appreciate greatly that the father's choice of reading was the Bible. The father notices that his pastor friend always comes back from walking along the beach with a peaceful face like he was in the Presence of God. The father wants this and searches for it and finally realizes it is in every moment.

I feel very strongly that we miss out on so much because we are continually searching for the next big thing in our lives that we miss out on the enjoyment of the moment. We rush and rush and fail to stop and take it in. It is more than just saying thank you but rather it is stopping and celebrating what God has done for you at the moment.

I love my Dad and yet I know there is more I can do with my relationship with him. I already know this and yet this book was poking me in the chest with raised eyebrows and tapping feet..... ok, ok!!!!

Well, talk about father movies out there! You have'Remember Me' and 'The Last Song' that really make you think about fathers and how to be better in your relationships. You can loose them at anytime. Life doesn't let you keep them forever present. Don't go through life on the surface. Breath deep and take it all in width and depth. Don't be afraid of being hurt. Scars are proof of triumph!!!!!!!