standing alone ...

When something happens a third time, I worry that I am not learning the lesson. I would much rather hear God on the Whisper and not the Roar!

I got a phone call from my good friend from high school. She is Vietnamese and she is always checking with me to see if she is getting her wires crossed between the Vietnamese, Asian, and American cultures. Her issue is that she stressed out over a 'friend' for not calling her when the 'friend' said she was to confirm plans. My friend felt that it was rude but wanted a second opinion. Maybe it was ok way to dodge not wanting to make a commitment to just say I'll call.

No, if you say you are going to do something, you better do it. You are only as good as your word is what I told her.

The real issue is here is how both of us stress over what others think of us. In trying to be nice to others, we fail to be nice to ourselves. She runs a bit hot and I run a bit cool. She stresses over the surface concerns and I stress more so over the deep stuff.

So maybe I shouldn't try to do things with others? I hated to admit this but it is true I told her. Give others a chance but if they fail to follow through, you next step is to go it alone! (ie: I refuse to miss a good movie if no one goes with me. I have been a big girl for a long time now. I am the one in the theatre sitting by herself.)

I guess what I am saying that I am not the only one feeling so alone. I thought maybe it was because I was single or maybe it is a family trait that needs to be broken. But my friend is married and feels alone when it comes to shopping or just hanging out. I look back at my mother as us kids where growing up and she had the same issues.

I am believing that the women circles you hear about (ya-ya-sisterhoods)is a total myth. If this is so, our world is missing out on a lot. If the women are becoming self absorbed without caring about the buddy system, no wonder our world is becoming more and more violent. The beauty is dying out.

So what am I worried about hearing on the Whisper and not the Roar? Three times my past has knocked on my door this weekend. Each time my past has presented me with someone else's perception. I know it isn't what I do in that moment but what I am taking from each knock. Is there something to learn? Or is this a test for me to work out my rudie nudie dash? Or maybe it is to reaffirm my stance on the fat suit problem?

Yup, having a personal menu drawn up and adhered to is very key in this present time. Time to refuse to be anything but solid in who you are and what you put into this world.

to keep / to throw out ...

I spent all day yesturday cleaning out Grandma's house keeping momentos and putting other things in either the trash pile, goodwill pile, or the auction pile. It is mentally tough. Going into this I didn't have the full story (which is a family communication problem). I thought it would be a few hours but no. So by the time 7pm came around I was tired and very hungry. I could bearing keep my eyes open but as my head hit the pillow, my eyes opened and my brain raced.

It was over thinking what to keep and what to let go in over drive. I even woke up early to these same thoughts. What is one to do when trying to keep things simple and yet hold on to keepers? I know I will need to have some major clean outs in my own home. And on the brain raced what to keep and what to throw out...

The auction is happening the weekend before Thanksgiving and as soon as the auction is through, my aunt will be heading out west to Arizona. She deserves a break and a new place to begin again. Yet, I can't help but feel weird. I really don't know how to explain it but like a dream happening to you and you wake up to find it is real. I do wish my Aunt well on this new journey. Yet, I wonder ...

I guess with the holidays fast approching, it really doesn't give the heart or the mind time to move through this at a simple pace.

gathering in Christmas ...

I was cruising through my favorite store and my heart moans happily as Christmas is stealing in the aisles. Glitz, glimmer, and shine come in pretty packages that tempt me with gathering...

My girlish heart at this time of year yearns to gather in loved ones around the hearth of home. While the weather promises a heap of snowflakes, I have dreams of smiling faces and warmth of love everywhere.

The notecards and gift bags with tall skinny man and woman in holiday fun of snowmen, packages, and wreaths just touched my holiday making spirit. Oh to really fill that one spot always left empty at the holidays has been and will always be my dreamwish ...

buddy system ...

I was viewing several scenarios where having a buddy makes life easier. They followed it up with 'you must be tied to someone to live.' Of course I am grabbing my soapbox and making mental notes. Come on! Am I the only one getting this? Am I the only one listening?

The buddy system is not for just for swimming or mountain climbing! It should be learned in kindergarten. Oh, wait! It is taught in kindergarten. I distinctly remembering holding hands in lines ups for the big things like fire drills and for not getting lost on a field trip! So why is it so hard for adults to adhere to the buddy rule?

The buddy system is made for the deep waters and the rough mountain climbs. Remember Life is a journey. No, not an easy one but it is adventeous. You are always to check in or check on your buddy just in case the water is too much or the terrain to steep. Life is deep waters and major tough terrain too. No, it is not made to go it alone! God has it built into our lives via family and marriage. Through out the Bible, there are countless 'be your brother's keeper' stories. It does make your life more bearable but it also keeps you from giving into temptation and from just plain giving up! Plus, connecting with a buddy during the lean times makes the relationship stronger and life more enjoyable!

You must be tied to a buddy to live!

thought of you the other day .. married?

"I thought that was you! How are you doing? Are you married yet?" An old male acquaintance from my days of working at a card and bookstore in the mall stopped me while I was making my Target run.

"Hi you. Doing well. No, not married. How are you doing?" Oh, good grief! Here we go again. What do you say about not being married?

"I was thinking about you the other day thinking you would have landed a man and be married with kids by now! Boyfriend?" He kept going!

"Nope."

"What is wrong with the guys out there?"

"Blind."

"Are you even out there looking?"

"Nope."

"Well, why not?"

"I don't know. Easier."

"Where are working?" The conversation moves to safer ground for me and we talk about work. But then it goes back to my the lack of a man in my life. So I asked ...

"How is your life?" No, not the exact wording here.

"I have an eight week old baby. A mid life crisis baby. I have a 15 year old girl and a 12 year old boy."

"Ahh, so the little one is the easiest for now."

"Yes!" (Ok, here it is... ) "Wow! I can't believe you aren't snatched up! If I was married, I would be all over you! Good to see you. Take care!"

What am I to feel after that conversation? Why is the past coming at me twice today? God? Am I suppose to be getting something here?

I have asked myself a million times why I don't have a man in my life. There is more to it than the boy friend and the husband part. No man has ever 'looked', pursued, and chose me. Meaning I have had no boyfriend or significant other in all my 30something years. So yeah, a big deal to sort out. So if I don't have a self-ward-shallow-hal syndrome ... then was it the fat suit...

WAIT .. I get it .. You, Heavenly Father, is testing my rudie nudie dash. No more thoughts about what I have done or haven't done to catch a mate. Just keep the focus on rudie nudie dash and know without a doubt that God has looked, pursued, and chose me!!!

busting invisible

busting invisible ...

I have the super human power of being invisible or so I thought. I just had another high school classmate come up to me and talk about the old days! Here I thought I was just a wallflower and no one took any notice. Wrong again! I am going to be checking the yearbook for this face. Being observant, I thought I was quite good at knowing a lot of the faces at school!

I know how to be invisible. So I am in unfamiliar territory when others me. Might be a good thing because I won't have many uncomfortable histories to own. Now I can work out of my new greeting surface and it is real. I am much more capable to engage others. Sure I was the shy girl but I have blossomed. Time for others to enjoy my bubbly.

Oh, I have to add here about my new surface. The girl who was covering my receptionist duties while I was on holiday said she had to be Keeper. She was making sure she was giving everyone who left for the day the salutation of 'have a good evening' and for Friday 'have a good weekend' like I do! To me that was a great compliment. I want those I greet to know that I take my salutations seriously. I truly have great joy in trying to make others smile...

hiding places ...

Dear Heavenly Hiding Place,
I have been listening to stories of King David. (love it!) Well, in reality the story is between the space of time where David was anointed to be king and when he actually became king. Here David is hiding out in caves for fear that King Saul would take his life.

You choose him. You anointed him. Your Presence was with him and no longer with King Saul. He was a great and proven warrior from killing the giant Goliath to slaying whole armies. In fact the women back home where singing of his might. But you wouldn’t know with him hiding out in the caves.

It can be argued that David was in hiding because He did not trust You to spare his life. But who would dare walk around the land if you where on every wanted poster? Did not David go into the inner chambers to soothe King Saul’s mind? Did not Saul even try to take his life while the music played? So I really wonder if You placed David (the king in waiting) in a hidden place.

This stuck me. My evening weeps are full of anguish and yes, doubts. I keep struggling to hold to Your Faithfulness. So if you put King David in hiding, have You placed me in a hiding place? I have sooooo much within my heart like love and joy yet I feel as if I am held back. I feel so small and useless. Everything that I once had at my disposal has been taken. What I do offer is discarded. My dreams and passions have my eyes focused on a bright place but darkness has covered my little flickering light beam. I am not wanting to hide in Your Sheltering Wings. I would rather get out there and do what my heart pants for. But all I am doing is whimpering in the dark.

I am encouraged by King David. I can look though his journal and see from the hiding places his despair to his longings and to the great words of his admiration of You. The hiding places taught him to dwell in You and feed on Your Faithfulness. His adventurous journey was surely full of mystery, but I can reflect upon this King David’s life and rejoice in You the King of kings and Your Divine Hiding Places.

Love You always,
me in a hiding place

first born + first born ...

I have often heard the wisdom of first borns and last borns making a good partnership in marriages. I see the balance in this and believe it true. My parents would be classic examples. So what if you choose a same birth order mate?

I have wondered about it but the thought was fleeting and on to the next reflection. After taking stock of a relationship I have had, I realized that for me a good match would be marrying a guy with similar birth order.

Why you ask? Well, I am a first born of two brothers and I have often longed to have an older brother. I get weary of always securing and protecting especially being on my own for so long. I know I will be the one called upon to keep the outer fringes of the family together. It has been asked of me already in some simple things and it is only natural for me to step up and serve. It is not a front and center type of job rather a more go-to girl. Another thing is that I am the last in line for family attention. There are always others with bigger and better dramas then me. Well, I rarely have any theatrics so I don’t even show up on the radar. Plus as the family has grown, the grandchildren have become the focal point. When I desire attention, it is just the simple and steady variety. No frills please. So there are my reasons I why a last born mate to always paying attention to and quell dramas would not be my first choice.

I feel for me that having a first born husband would be ideal. When I took stock of a relationship of mine, I saw how I enjoyed the older protection and lack of over dramatization. I felt that he too was tired of the dramas that his siblings had where he was called to be the shoulder. I think it is nice to be able to give another first born the attention and security they so long for but couldn't because they gave out and didn't receive it back. This is just some thoughts I have been having on first borns or maybe they are just thoughts about what type of person would provide the security I long for…

out of order / out of control

The computer/web world is spinning out of control. Right now is a stretch of time where web pages and sites are getting more elite and exclusive to higher operating systems. Today's battle cry is global warming. So what does this have to do with computer/web world becoming more exclusive? How many times do have you upgraded your mobile? Yup! I thought so. Consume, consume, consume. Throw out the old model get a new one. The computer/web world is the biggest offender to global warming and the consumption frenzy.

I would love to have iChat and iSight(or Skype)to make long distant phones calls obsolete. I would love to have my IM back. I would love to be able to visit sites without having my browser blank out on me. I would love to be able to just sit and blog with all the resources available to me to create well. But no ... can't have it simple.

I believe that the computers (add any other devices like mobiles and iPods) should have the capacity for growth with relatively low costs and less model/system change without being so exclusive. Stop with the beta stuff. Beta hadn't bothered me before because I understand the need to iron out the kinks. However, it just a way to limit. I believe taking your time and making it right for all is actually pride in your work. Play nice! Be responsible!

Or maybe I am just cranky because after finding an outlet for my writing, I am being limited because I don't have the latest and greatest. And after several years of having IM only to have it not work any more is causing me distress of over some friendships I kept maintained through it.

Or maybe I am cantankerous because I have had a small crisis with my music system for about 8 years now. I can't play my cd's but the radio works. Talk about throwing out while you still can get some good from it. I've thought about upgrading but one choice too many is making me nauseous. So add that to my list of inflated technology.

Or maybe I am punchy because I didn't get to bed on time because I was trying to figure out how to get my profile for this blog back while realizing to keep blogging I am going to have to use stupid firefox. Do I have some beef or what?

Then I am reminded to keep my life and home simple! Good Grief! This is going to be a challenge! (help!) Funny thing is that my brain (the best computer with a heart and God-Made)is working overtime coming up with avenues to remain connected and for keeping it effortless.

loss - a good thing ...

Power may be corrupting, but it is also addictive. But the truth is that sometimes a loss is just what is needed to regain a sense of purpose and energy.

Ahhh,the power struggle ... Always trying to keep the hands off the wheel yet move to what we can control...

Loss isn't our choice. Rather it is the Divine working in us. I know I cry out in pain and beat my chest in anger wondering why with my hard work and desire to love God more that I am discarded or placed in hiding. I need to see more clearly that the Divine is loving transforming my little ol heart and soul! Yes, it is all adventure and mystery. I must snuggle into His Chest and let His Everlasting Arms hold me as His Presence moves through my life...

keeper's menu ...

When given a restaurant’s menu, you discover what your experience at this place will be. From the appetizer to the main course to the drink that washes it down and oh yes, you cannot forget the dessert to top off great dining, you order up whatever you so wish to enjoy. You also will know if the restaurant requires shoes, a shirt or if they are a bit stuffier and require ‘the jacket’ in order to be served. I would like to purpose making a menu of sorts for your own personhood. By having a menu it allows you to bring yourself as equal partner into all your experiences no matter if they are professional or personal. It is making sure that your backbone is intact and able to be tenderly strong!

Coming out from my 600lb fat suit and all the other layers, I want to lay out my new wardrobe (rudie nudie) and diet (core values & personality). I no longer wish to live in the gray zone waffling between what my heart and soul says and what attention I wish for from others. No more secondhand stress overload. I want to see my real 8 year old girl-self. I don’t care if you like me because I must like me.

Here is Keeper’s Menu:

Appetizer – my surface
My surface needs to be in balance with my depth. If I am all shy, I will never be able to show my depth in all its richness. My surface is the warmth and joy that allows my depth to better empathize and connect with you. It allows you to see me the 8 year old.

Joy has been a huge epiphany for me. It has enabled me to move to what I can control instead of drowning in what I cannot. At the time JOY crashed into my world I was at a standstill and I desire to move. Joy became my positive action. I want to be a sunny face to others around me. It is like having a roaring fire in the hearth on a blistery cold day with a mug of blueberry tea warming my hands. It just makes me feel good. My monster smile is real and pleasurable.

Main Course – my depth
My depth needs to be in balance with my surface. If I am all bubbly, I would have no substance after all the bubbles burst. My depth is my core- full of strength and weaknesses but ever growing and passionate. It is my place of hunger and contentment. It is my energy field.

My heartbeat? ‘Be tender, be brave, and be me’. My standard? ‘Joyful, healthy, and strong wings’. Always embracing what is important. No more hiding out in my 600lb fat suit. Wanting to bring clarity to whom I strive to be, allowing expression of my fullness, a way to conduct myself with integrity.

Here I will hold to my core feelings and needs:
1)Joy completes me.
I will celebrating. I will Delight & Savor. I will trade in the chaos for the simple.
2)Balance / healthy
I will be full & be hungry. I will be content yet hungry to grow more Christlike.
Gives me enormous energy
3)Attention / Value (inflow)
I will be good to myself and myself will be good to others.
‘I will be were I am wanted & won’t be were I am not wanted’
No excuses. No grey. I will read only black & white.
True Love will not desert me.
4)Honor & Blessing (empathy)(outflow)
‘where my treasure is, there my heart will be’
I refuse to trade in the permanent for the immediate. Eternity is always my focus.
5)Engage Life (love)
I will not limit or isolate.
I will keep my hands off the wheel so as not to control my life but allow God to control.
I will move to what I can control like delighting, savoring, and declaring His Attributes.
6)Growth / Learning (invitation for God’s Touch on my life)
more not less, better not bitter
making my top 100 – no regrets plan
making yearly themes
7)Wings (inflow)
I will own my passions, my dreams, my gifts, my creativity, my painting, my writing
8)Want (outflow)
I will do what is important to me. I will hunger to be my fullest.
‘Movement is medicine.’
10)Tenacity
I am a fighter & nurturer for those people I love & their dreams.
I will be the flame not the moth.
come along side (enduring encourager)

This is the main course of where my feelings and needs lie. What I want for myself, I must be willing to give out. No more excuses for you or for me. I am bringing this to the table in all my professional and personal relationships. No more hiding my authentic me and no more simulating myself to others in hopes they see it differently. Making out my personal menu allows me to a space and confidence to make my rudie nudie dash.

Drink – my delight
My delight is the how I engage with God and with those around me. It hydrates my heart and soul to be the complete. It is the service of love. Delight surrounds my surface and my depth like a bubble.

Dessert – my fullness
My fullness is what I will enjoy. After working out the menu, I get to set back and enjoy the fullness of my being. Nothing is missing or fragmented. It is pure satisfaction.

So here is Keeper’s Menu.

If I fail to uphold these self-truths, my course of action is to peel off the 600lb fat suit by going back over the meal and ordering up the missing parts of my diet.

Note1: As I was writing this menu out, I kept having to backspace all the ‘I want you’s …’ and make this from what I want because (!!!!) it is not about you but about me! I must remember.

Note2: Gary Smalley suggests making a marriage constitution/ menu and a family constitution / menu to bring unity, clarity to what is important, and a standard for behavior. What a great idea! All the participants get involved in the making and even the discipline. (The discipline works so much better when the children are involved with how they should be disciplined because they are harder on themselves!)

From his suggestion I saw a great way to keep the fat suit off! I had to make this personal. I now have the right diet to make my rudie nudie dash.

from fat suit to rudie nudie

Flicka ...

I would rate this movie a 9.5. It is a great father and daughter must see. It is based on a the book ‘My Girl Flicka.’ (Flicka is a Swedish word for beautiful girl) Not sure why I didn’t read when I was a youngster. I would have related quite well with the conflict of spirits. I read Black Beauty and National Velvet so I love a good horse story. (I’ve been enjoying Barbaro’s real live story. Keep at it Barbaro!) Will have to make sure I read this book.

The best nugget from this story is mustang’s spirit. One of my favorite lines goes something like this ‘along side the cowboy’s footprint was a wild horses’ hoof print that won the west’. Just brilliant!

The story is wound around this wild spirit. (This ache of being fully your wild self without having to answer to a contrived standard.) The father couldn’t see that his own daughter was a wild spirit and would be the right one to carry on the horse farm. It took a wild mustang to carry this young wild girl into her fully wild womanhood. Having his daughter so near to death because she believed in a wild mustang, finally enabled him to take off his blinders so he could embrace his daughter’s force. He had so much love for her. It just was so hard for a young girl to see that love with such her own feistiness getting in the way. (Very typical for all daughters and fathers .. I know first hand { smiles })

I loved how they showed great parenting between mother and father. You could see the strong desire to make sure their children where secure and healthy in character. You don’t see great duo parenting in action much anymore.

It is truly a must see for those girls who are finding out who they are and for parents of young girls. Maybe there can be more of a connection made… and less broken spirits …

A shout out about the brother in the movie - an aussie.

Movie review : the guardian ...

can't see & walk by faith ...

'You cannot walk by faith and walk by sight. Just does not work that way. It has to be one or the other. ' To watch Jennifer Rothchild talk about her life and the book she wrote, you would not notice at all that she is blind. When she talked about this, it hit home with me.

All these times when I feel so blind, sure I quote the Word where He goes before me and walks with me and not to be discouraged (deut 31:8) but to finish off my doubt by settling in to my walk in faith is more light and strength. I can smile and be confident in God. He is my Sight... when I walk by faith...

gut beliefs ...

I have 'gut beliefs'. These beliefs I have questioned God on and amazingly He has proved them to me (only when I asked Him .. shoud have asked sooner!).

My conflict belief:
I don't like conflict but I feel that if you work it out together it helps make the relationship stronger. It is not a place where I want to win. What I want is a better connection. I've been reading Gary Smalley's book ''Making Love Lasts Forever'' and he confirms my belief that conflict opens the door to intimacy (ch 13). The key to making conflict work is getting to the core of the *feelings and *needs of both. With that in mind you both work towards a *win-win solution. (YES!! Perfect!)

ie: I had a student who I butted heads with but afterwards, the relationship worked out better. I was amazed at this young man's change of attitude! Looking back we both expressed feelings and needs. There was listening and reaching out. It was pretty cool feeling to make it work!

my fear of anger belief:
You can say that I am just a fraidycat. I hate anger. I hate it when someone raises their voice. I hate it when there is a fight especially when the physical get involved. See when it happens my insides melt and my mind shuts off and my tongue goes haywire. Why do I get so worked up? Plus, I have to admit that I have had my own angry moments. I know when anger gets me moving and when it can hurt me. But honestly there is a bigger issue here.

To look at my llj blog it seems that I am obsessed with anger of late. Yes, I admit it is true. Anger is the opposite of Love and of Joy. But the bigger truth is that anger is a killer of Love and of Joy. After seeing what anger can do to my journey and having such a life transforming Joy Epiphany, I am on my soapbox big time.

Again from Gary Smalley's ''Making Love Last Forever'' (ch 13), Gary has a very interesting study he refers to:

Studies of the family by Murray Straus have shown that individuals who vent their anger tend, over time, to produce more and more anger and to vent it more and more vigorously until they finally resort to physical violence... Venting anger almost invariably gets the other person angry too, and then you are going to need more and more anger to continue the fight.

Wow, just to vent? Wow, it really is important to get to the cause of anger...

no discipline feeds anger

personality vs privilege

apple bytes ...

More than depressed, I came out defeated! Instead of upgrading I have to buy a whole new system because if I want to update my system I have to scrounge through their refurbished items for memory etc. So I said what about adding a macmini? No, won't work with what I have.

While I was busy working and blogging and whatever else I do, the tech world has spun out of my own galaxy! I am at the point that if I want to expand, I must do something. All I can do at the moment is cry.

Cry because my ever expanding world has booted me right off the train. I have been working hard at engaging and taking on good stuff. Yes, I am not just taking about my apple now. Everywhere I turn I am booted right off...

on the red barn ...

Wooohooooo! The 'flag painter' made it ... It was his first actual red barn! What I got to see was great. I will share the link to the story but it doesn't have a good picture of it. the story

He has his own site as well. When there is a good picture I will share it.

painting flags

no more jarrahdale ...

I had to rescue the seeds from my one and only Jarrahdale. Sorry no pix. Moma in her hurray and oh so ear numbing cold was mowing the yard. Yup, ran over my only Jarrahdale! Yes, blue pumpkins are ORANGE on the insides much like their American cousins.

I went out to bring in the last two pumpkins and my heart sank when all that was left was a dirt patch were the Jarrahdale was resting. I looked and looked wondering where it was. See I was looking for a whole pumpkin not the pieces and guts. But then I saw parts and then the guts so there I was fishing through the cold and slimy grass for whole seeds. A lot of them are chewed up by nasty mower blades but I gathered up as many as I could. I do have some whole ones. So here's to next year .. may it be a better pumpkin growing season...

Love seeds .. they are want continues .. Thank You, Awesome Creator

note: the blueberry bushes came in the snailmail on Saturday!

mad chow : bad bad for us blue bumpkins

misses them ...

As the tree begins to terminate their own leaves, the wind catches the colored crispy fly aways and toss them about. They flutter, spin, dance, skip, twirl, and gather in piles...

It hit me thursday evening that I will be without my parents for a week. Sure I am a grown up or at least that is what the license in the wallet claims. But it doesn't say that I won't misssssss them ... ( a lot! ) You know? I am not the type that gets homesick! What is happening? tee hee... that is what happens when you grow up in singlehood...

I took the week off from work so that I can live out of two houses. I got yummy boys (pupinators) to love on and my parents kitchen has very little safe food for me. I started a list of things to take care of like getting my tonka toy serviced and take care of a little recall. I plan to get info on upgrading my apple which will depress me more. Hope I find a nice and patient apple-techie that will answer a ton of my questions. I probably won't be able to upgrade till the end of next year or maybe in '08! So be a nice Apple. Argh! Right now my IM isn't working because msn does not play nice with us apple geeks. (stomps my feet) I also hope to clean up my home here (llj blog). I am toying with upgrading it to beta. Just hope everything works. I must save my templete just incase. Parents pear tree has a ton of ready pears. Hope the freeze didn't ruin them. I want to try pear jam and a pear pie that is keeper friendly!!!! no flour or sugar!!!! So if there is a success, I hope you tap your wooden spoons and break into a culinary dance with me!!! Of course I will be painting up a storm of glass and hope to pen out a lot of my thoughts. A lot on my list! I better get moving ...

...the pupinators are probably quite hungry and worried with all the rush of bags and stuff... I hope they settle in with me and not worry over every noise. They have that internal time clock of when everything should happen. Oh, they shake and worry so!! I understand their worry 'but hey, come on your favorite sissi is here and you are warm and fed and loved ... muuahh muuahh'

snowflaking!

I had my first dusting of snow for the season today. Mr. Wind howled and howled quite ruthlessly. Sometimes it would snow fiercely but then the Sun would shine. Kinda early for this but I do welcome it to cleanse the air from bugs and pollen. I can't help but love snow. It isn't sticking around today but Winter has a month and a half yet. So until then I will enjoy today with my 'snow-dance' and a good snuggle with my warm blankets...

moment captured : blood orange draped in sleep

No discipline feeds anger ...

What if the violence we see in the schools or for that matter anywhere in the world is the lack of discipline or unloving punishment. When rules are thrown out the window, behavior begins to turn dark and ugly. Anger pushes out any love causing self-loathing. Selfish acts are committed from greed all the way to hateful violence. Remember anger is a secondary emotion and comes from loss. Our children have lost the self-discipline that teaches worth and builds their character. So when hurt and pain start attacking their soul, they have no way of climbing
out of this abyss.

Parents must honor loving boundaries in their home. And to supplement this self-discipline, parents need to be vigilant with their own anger as well as their child's. We are missing out on a great opportunity to develop in our child a way to get to the root cause of anger, release it, and hold onto LOVE..

where the anger is