beauty ...

God designed little girls with an ache of beauty in their little souls. Am I beautiful? is always on their little minds. It does not change when little girls are grown woman; it just intensifies.

I was listening to Psalms 96 and verse six just clicked "Honor and majesty are before Him: strength and beauty are in His sanctuary." Isn't that something that Beauty dwells in God's sanctuary?

My brain went to the Proverbs 31 woman. Verse 30 says "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." Now this is God's definition of Beauty and truly is the fountain of youth eternal. I like that it is indwelling and that it can be carried within me.

Yet, when the evening comes and I am tuckered out, I just want to hide because my nerves are so shot. Or when I feel the welling of frustrated anger began to rage within because I'm not heard. What better place to hide out than His Sanctuary where Beauty and Strength gather. Sometimes I feel so depleted of anything good let alone beauty that escaping to something bigger than me is quite appealing. That is why I like Psalms 96:6 so much. It is a promise that I cherish.

This ragged dirty weather beaten girl can run to His Sanctuary. Here I can trade in my heated tears. Here I can let the Beauty soothe away the heavy creases in my life. Here is where I get back in line with His commands. Here is where I let go of what I wanted to keep tight. Here is where I lean into God's Strength. His Sanctuary allows for the smile to creep into my heart and face. This is my perfect hideaway.

give me more beauty!!!

I confess I have a fetish for anything beautiful. I treasure beautiful words and beautiful pictures the most. I am getting real bad about this!

I can't stand the co-workers continual storytelling. Her storytelling is usually about something bad. I can't stand old grumpy people either where everything is bad. I can't stand the continual news drainage on all day and night tv. (my ears had to deal with a grumpy couple and news tv for four hours while waiting for my jeep) I just want to pluck my brains and eardrums out through the nose with a tweezer! I tried to read God's Word but there was sooooo much noise (I can't stand unnecessary noise! never have. never will!) and the wait was soooo long, that it was verrrrrry hard. I even tried to come up with thank You's but that was impossible. It didn't help that I was getting a headache.

It was good to fill my eyes on beautiful pictures in the magazines at the stores. I love the visual feast. The afternoon of shopping gave way for thanking God for some good things for the day.

I have a problem with the negatives. I used to be in that place and don't want to go back. Sometimes it can be a real fight. Now that I am most HA free and have a handle on God's JOY, why waste my time on the negatives? That isn't me anymore. It isn't a habit I will return to but it is more like a food allergy. I know what makes me sick so I avoid it.

hormones ...

I wonder what makes an imbalance of hormones in a woman when she begins her transition from child bearing and rearing to a woman of stature and sage. Is it the years of not taking care of your needs or is it the lack of proper eating and exercise? Is it working some job because it brings home the 'mula' but depletes the soul or is it the sour atmosphere that you keep or tolerate at work or at home? Is it plain and simply s-t-r-e-s-s? We all know what stress does to us so that is why I have been thinking this out..

I wonder if keeping my mind stayed upon Christ the Solid Rock and staying in the Word will keep my hormone levels balanced and keep stress at bay. I will be making this transition soon and have heard the horror stories and have question my own mother. I have become more and more anti-drugs for most things. For example, taking an aspirin for my food HA's only covers up the pain; it does not protect or prevent the blood cells from dying. I am not naive for there is a time for medication and a time for no medication and kicking the stress habit our lifestyle has created as a monster has got to be the key.

I have noticed some stress beaters for myself and the biggest stress reliever is my relationship with God. It has been a long time coming and I have a long way to go. I am a big time feeler and I will always feel but to rightly put them in God's hands by going the Word and laying hold of God's promises. I have got the praying without ceasing down as I rattle about alone at home but often before going to bed, I would cry as I battle out my frustrations. I hated it and myself. The last couple of years I have found solace in God's Word and now it has become an obsession to pray the Word. I don't cry over the frustrations before bed anymore. I am repeating the fear not messages.

This year's theme is allowing myself to be Romanced by God and to find my true beauty. Already I have come to terms with a certain desertion in my life. I have been getting over it only to find myself not over it. I think it is a growing experience and can't be learned at the drop of a heart. Hearts shatter and it takes time for them to heal because there are so many angles and edges to bring back together. God has been so very patient with me and has been very Masterful at gently healing my heart. I have soooooo many learnings that even through a fleshy experience God has worked it for my good and betterment. At this point in time I feel a satisfied heart beating in my chest because I am letting God romance me. I am so tired of being alone and learning everything I can about being a couple that I am finally going to embrace this single life. It was a dual life that began to eat me alive. God has said to choose life and I am making a life decision to choose a JOYFUL life.

So by embracing my relationship with God and embracing my single JOYFUL life, stress is on the run. So I wonder if by keeping a balanced and whole life, will it keep my hormones in balanced and I can enjoy the transition...? I kinda think so...

Fear NOT little one! Fearlessly walk with Me. I will keep you! Always your Heavenly Father and Keeper

flourish = Joy's verb ...

Joy is a state of being content & trusting in God. Flourish is Joy in verb form and it is beautiful!

flourish |ˈfləri sh |

verb

1 grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, esp. as the result of a particularly favorable environment 

• develop rapidly and successfully .

• [with adverbial ] (of a person) be working or at the height of one's career during a specified period 

When I think of flourish, my mind is overflowing with good things like beautiful, color popping flowers flourishing in a gentle breeze. Simply put, just winsome. I love how flourish is described in Psalms 92:12-15:

The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree
Those that be planted in the House of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God.
They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;
To show that the LORD is upright: He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.

A palm tree is made stronger when it bends in horrific winds and on a beautiful day, a palm tree is so tall and flourishes against a blue sky. Do I bend under God's allowance of storms or do I fight against what He is doing in my life?

When I am planted in the House of the Lord, there will I be most joyful and flourishing. I see the House of the Lord anywhere I am in communion with God via His Word and my prayers, thanksgiving, and hymns. It is also my obedience (good fruit) as my love shared to Him. This is were I am most beautiful and the most flourishing. What is my return? a nice big fat, fruitful, and flourishing me! {beautiful}