I've been grieving for a month because what I had dreaded was becoming quite evident now. At the beginning of the the week my earnest prayer that God would take Andy sooner than later wasn't being answered on my terms. I went to see Andy Thursday night as curled up with his paws tucked up under his head and his nose under the covers. Friday I had barely a tear. I did think that maybe sleep was a gift God was giving Andy. Saturday I just didn't want to get out of bed. Losing a precious gift on top of a year filled with stressful decisions and with dark passages has been much - too much. I can't take much more. I long for rest, for healing, for comfort and joy.
My dear Andy did pass at 7:45AM. I bawled upon my pillowed and got up and started the day. As we covered Andy with earth's heavy blanket the heavens began to tear up pelleting us with soft drops matching our sorrow.
Andy was was born with his brother Bobby on February 26, 2000. Mom and Dad not being able to pick just one brought both home on April 13, 2000. Andy passed 7:45AM December 15, 2012. Bobby is still with us. He was worried and confused. He has Tink who is also worried and confused, but will keep each other as well as us focused on today.
I will miss this precious pupinator greatly. My biggest fear is that his memory will fade like all the beloved pets that I have had. It helps the grief process but this guy has touched my heart like no other. I want to remember all the goodness he was. I do not want that to fade.
I'm not grieving like I was. Maybe I'm numb. Maybe it is because the wasting away is finished and it is a relief.
I finally put the tree up because I wanted some twinkle in my life. I won't have extended time off - just the holiday. We will be slaving to get inventory done. So I don't know if I will be able to recharge fully. I do plan to find some quiet Christmastime with God. I need to give God my gift of contentment.…
My dear contented Andy! What an inspiring story!
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