Party crackers (n.)

I love watching Bob Ross the painter on Saturday mornings. I love his calming and soft voice as he shows you how to paint the landscapes. I eat this up because I have always craved being able to paint a landscape. He is so one with nature that he has a few endearing words and phrases for the things he paints. One is for the fall trees bearing their reds, oranges, and yellows. He calls them fire crackers. Love it!!!

So this morning when I was looking at my trees bursting forth with their bright green leaves and others blooming in white flowers, I decided to name the spring trees as party crackers! They are such a delight for the eyes. Even if they cause the allergies to flare…

Good thing you weren’t in my jeep this morning! You would have thought I was a bit off my rocker as I was exclaiming ‘oOOooo, look another party cracker!’

broken blue line

Last Monday they had a one year memorial service for a fallen brother in the line of duty. Then as the wee hours ticked off in expectation of a new day, they heard news that they dreaded. Another one of their own was shot dead while another was wounded on a call of a man welding a gun. - Another typical April night.

Sadly, the evil is stacking up that to desensitize, I turn off the continual coverage the media saturates on air waves. Mass school shootings, Murder – suicides, and police shootings have been racking up the numbers. In defense I have been seeking out beauty and yes, getting lost in my own life as it is very busy at the moment.

I so desperately want to remain sensitive and I don’t want the evil deeds to scab over my heart causing callous behavior. How can I redeem the time as the days are evil? Keep giving out monster smiles and bright eyes. Keep giving out loving attention. Do what is beautiful. ‘To the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet’. Time to show them what sweet is all about.

To Nick – thank you for your service. You are the shield. Thank you for being the blue line.
To Nick’s family – thank you for raising and keeping a young man, father, and friend, dear to your hearts. Wrap up in God’s comfort as prayers surround you.
To us the community – Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand (phil 4:5)

note to self:
Feel the numbness but don't give up...

'O righteous God,
who searches minds and hearts, bring to an end the violence of the wicked and make the righteous secure. My shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart. God is a righteous judge, a God who expresses his wrath every day. If he does not relent, he will sharpen his sword; he will bend and string his bow. He has prepared his deadly weapons; he makes ready his flaming arrows. He who is pregnant with evil and conceives trouble gives birth to disillusionment. He who digs a hole and scoops it out falls into the pit he has made. The trouble he causes recoils on himself; his violence comes down on his own head. I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.' Psalm 7:9-17

I pray the sames words as King David. My eyes will stay on You. The enemy is a thief and I will not let steal my joy or my sensitivity.
~always Your little girl

living in contrasts
don't take the girl

Nick is resting beside Scott. They worked together and are laid to rest together...

bitter vs the honeycomb ...

I am finding that the Bible is so right on about human nature. Have you noticed how someone will stay in an abusive relationship? It does not matter how many times he has hit her. It does not matter how many times she has fallen down with bruises in places they should not be. It does not matter how many times he has mentally abused her by saying ‘you’re no good’ etc. She takes the bitter. She cannot imagine life without it. No attention is worse than bitter or so the culture has taught her.

In Proverbs 27:7 it is stated like this: ‘A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb, but to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.’ Our emphasis should not be on what the hungry soul does but on the condition of the soul. It is HUNGRY! So hungry in fact that their taste buds are dull to the bite. The only cure is to get rid of the bitter and bring in the sweets like love, value, loving attention, and compassion. Before you know it, the hungry soul’s taste will improve and the understanding sharpened. The cravings won’t be there to consume rather satisfaction and contentment.

A hungry soul just might be the guy at work who complains all the time. Nothing is right. If the satisfied soul can give of his abundance of honeycomb, the hungry soul begins for feed and becomes attracted to the sweet. You are what you eat! Wow! Now that is a thought to keep.

Anyone who is feeding on bitter like it is going out of style has a serious condition of the ‘hungries’ and the satisfied souls can help. How can you make a difference to a hungry soul? Are you hungry? Would you know or is your taste buds out of whack? What are you feeding on? Aren't we humans a bottomless pit when it comes to love?

be the busy bee & pollinate!

satisfied toil ...

I have seen the burden God has laid on men.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy
and do good while they live.
That everyone may eat and drink,
and find satisfaction in all his toil--this is the gift of God.
I know that everything God does will endure forever;
nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.
God does it so that men will revere him.
Ecclesiastes 3:10-14

Hmmmm, I love how God feeds me in the places I need to be fed. Right now I am deciding whether to take a new position at work. I haven't found the no answer so most likely I will take on this scary new path.

The food is full of mystery yet filling. It isn't giving me doubt about moving forward but maybe more of saying do this and in time your passions and dreams will become work that will not only feed your soul but your life as well.

His Words above come all together and some may not seem to fit yet all of it together gives me an enduring comfort to joyfully toil. {happy sigh & a tickled pink smile}

april showers ...

The hard rain striped the shell from leaf buds, unfurling bright green leaves like a little girl sashaying the ruffles on a spring dress. Some trees still stand naked while others have pink or white petals peeking out like a dainty petticoat under a long skirt. So much promise of a parade of May color and flowers penetrates the canvas that if you let it, your heart feels the rhythmic cadence of excitement. If you stand so still you can hear the whispers of the undressing of seeds that have hidden away hibernating during the winter’s night. Ooo, I love it all! Rain, the gentle thunder awaking, the flowers grand and small, the petals soft, the colors bright … What a Masterful Creator! Oh, how He shows His Love for me in the smallest of details…

Dearest Creator,
You signed Your Name on every masterwork Your Hands created from the grandest mountains to the smallest viola petal. “O Lord, our Lord, how excellent is Your Name in all the earth! ~Ps 8:9

Thanking for romancing me with an April shower and the promise of May flowers. O, how I love Your Signature. Huge Huggers!!!
~always Your little delighted girl

their work will be joy ...

Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.
They keep watch over you as men who must give an account.
Obey them so that their work will be a joy,
not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.
~ Heb 13:17

keeper's paraphrase:
'Obey the managers and bosses at work. They keep watch over you for they must keep account of your work. Work hard. Give your best. Think of your own solutions to keep on your toes. Be organized. Make new habits that is beneficial. Smile. Listen. Keep open communication. Never assume. Never tell others what to do. Always ask questions. Always ask permission. Be nice. Be courteous. Obey your authorities and work hard. This will be joy to them. They won't roll their eyes when you come in or deal harshly with you when your review comes up... They might just ask you why there is a Light shining through you! '

wellspring policy

The Spring of Laughter
Today's Scripture
"Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst— not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life." (John 4:14)
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
When you make Jesus the Lord of your life, God puts within you an eternal well that will never run dry. You have an unlimited supply of good things inside you which should be continually bubbling out of you. But Satan doesn't want your joy, happiness, or laughter to flow freely. So he comes along and throws a stone of, say, worry into your well. You may think, "That's just one little stone. It's not hurting anything. The water is still flowing pretty well." But Satan will be back soon with another stone, whether it's fear, self-pity, or hopelessness. If you haven't dealt individually with each of these stones and gotten rid of them, your nice, free-flowing well of good things will become clogged. But you can still unclog it with a major dose of laughter!
A Prayer for Today
Lord, thank You for the spring of eternal life and joy that You have placed within me. Help me deal with the stones that can block the free flow of goodness, joy, and laughter. In Jesus' name. Amen.
above from Joel Olsteen’s daily devotional

I have been putting my ‘Wellspring Policy’ on the back burner for some time now. I didn’t want to repeat my other thoughts even though this goes in hand in hand with getting to know your real self (fat suit epiphany & tipping point) and learning to take care of yourself. By developing some guidelines I can be confident that I have learned from my own tipping point and maybe shed light on the fact that no matter how good we try to be, we fail.

A warning in Proverbs 4:23 has been my guidance. ‘’Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of LIFE.’’ Yes, I know that when my waters muddied, there was no life or brightness in my eyes. I felt naked and used. I knew I needed to be strong and stop hurting myself. How do you do that?

I want to go back a step. When you become a believer, your heart is transformed and God describes this as an spring. "Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst— not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life." (John 4:14) Take this in. Haven’t you daydreamed especially on one of those hot humid grimy days for a clear clean spring that bubbled and gushed with fresh yummy water there tucked in a cool wooded area? Ok maybe not the first daydream, you beach lovers you! What a visual. That is my heart! But it is also my job to protect that wellspring…

Start drinking from the well that will never run dry – God’s Word! Start thinking about the Words He has preserved from Alpha and Omega. Pray these Words and use them in your speech. Stop hedging. Go for it. Be honest and don’t hide even when it goes against the world. Something changes and you might not notice it. Stay alert. Keep saying the Words. A good place to practice is when watching tv or a movie. Every time something goes against His Words and Promises, declare His Attributes and His Promises. Keep it basic and simple. No discussions. Give proof to your faith. We are to pray without ceasing and we are to use the Shield. Great protection. Then when opportunity arises, God will come to you and give you the Words to protect you when you feel the urge to hide (fat suit) or feel the needs of attention (tipping point). Your voice may be hard to hear but you will stand firm…

The enemy is a thief. The Friend is the Defender and Supplier…

God's will & work ...

Way to go Little Bro!
“Back in my Grandfather’s and my father’s day the question of God’s will and work was ‘It is God’s will that I work and that I do my best.’ Today’s generation answer is ‘What job is in God’s will for me?’

I loved this. Which generation is correct? It seems obvious to me. Yet, as I think about old paths, I tend to feel one should go after their dreams and passions because it feels like the key to what God desires us to give to the world. However could it be that the work before me even though I have no passion for, is God’s will? Do I still go for my passions?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I know my answer for myself is that my daily grind is God’s will. I am learning here that it has made me better at my first impressions. Developing my malnourished surface has been helping me be more delightful. It has proven that a well-rounded surface makes it easier to develop depth with others. Qualities I need to be the best I can be and I know my passions would not have lead me down that path. However, my passions have been my outlet for the ‘learnings’ I have gained from my daily grind!

I jotted down my thoughts at the beginning of the month but here it is the end of the month and I have a decision to make about my work. Do I go and take the Accounts Payable job that opened up? Or do I stick with my Reception job? It has been a real thinker. I have been riding the fence, flipping back and forth. Honestly, I have been looking for a ‘no’ answer. It would make my decision easy!

Like I said before the Receptionist’s job has been really good for me – a really good fit. In the loss of my last job, I realized that the atmosphere that you work in can drain you until you are a shell of who you are meant to be. I think now I am learning through the thinking process is that I must decide whether I can deflate the stress or am I going to let the stress change me. I found a thread of thought ‘with balance comes peace’. I know that stress is a part of learning but I need to be able to balance the stress so that I can use it towards good instead of it working against me.

What good is the learning if I cannot take it and apply it in other areas of my life and use it for the rest of my days? I do plan to greet others and keep open the communications instead of hiding out in my office. Greetings could very well be the answer to keep my social-needs tank full to aid in doing good work. I need some social interactions or I find myself cranky by 5PM. Well, ok by noon!

I have decided to see if there was ‘yes’ answers after realizing I was so focused on finding a no answer. I really am trying to see if God is directing a path to take. I can’t see if this will take me towards my passions and I don’t know how this will add to my dreams. The dots have lined up. My hat is still in the ring and a ‘no’ answer can still come… Either way I want God to lead me …

Let the morning bring me Word of Your Unfailing Love,
for I have put my trust in You.
Show me the way I should go,
for to You, I lift up my soul.
~Ps 143:8

Keep me safe, O God,
for in You I take refuge.
I said to the Lord,
“You are my Lord;
apart from You I have no good thing.”
~Ps 16:1&2

long trip alone

It's a long trip alone over sand and stones
That lie along the road that we all must travel down

So maybe you could walk with me a while
And maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Everybody stumbles sometimes and needs a hand to hold
'Cause it's a long trip alone

It's a short piece of time but just enough to find
A little peace of mind under the sun somewhere

So maybe you could walk with me a while
And maybe I could rest beneath your smile
You know we can't afford to let one moment pass us by
'Cause it's a short piece of time

And I don't know where I'd be without you here
'Cause I'm not really me without you there

Yeah Yeah
Yeah Yeah oooh

So maybe you could walk with me a while
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Everybody stumbles sometimes and needs a hand to hold

So maybe you could walk with me a while
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Maybe I could feel you right beside me 'til I'm home
'Cause it's a long trip alone

A Long trip alone
sung by Dierks Bentley

{sighs}

seasons, thinking, & mapping it forward ...

A couple years ago I was confiding in my good friend how frustrated I was with a friendship that bit the dust. He had a ditty about friendship seasons. I was not happy about it then especially sense he has disappeared and I am not happy about it now nor will I ever be.

Why am I so vehemently against friendships lasting a season? Aren’t we setting up every friendship we make to failing when we say ‘oh well, season has ended’? I am not so stupid to think all friends will stay in my life for ever. I have lived long enough to understand that people will move away physically or take a different job etc.

I believe we should see friends as ‘friendlies’ that will move in and out of our lives and that there is great potential for you to continue to have them as your friends for the long haul. The only time you should discard friendships is if they are doing you harm whether it is physical abuse or mental abuse or emotional abuse or sabotaging your faith.

Friendships have a flow and a pace much like the four seasons which by the way are continual year after year. Life does not stop. Spring holds that right in my face. The tree right out side my bedroom window has buds - proof that leaves are coming. The crocus and daffodils have popped up from the ground. Everything once ‘dead’ – really are just sleeping and resting up – is alive! So too should our notion of friendship like seasons be a continual. Hmmm, holding on instead of letting go….???

Yes, friendships have problems like pet peeves, slow times, boredom, stress, frustrations, telling others how to act or think, disrespect, different views … ok the list could go on and on. Too often when trying to fix the problem, we ask ‘why did this happen?’ Then we go through it and through it and over it and over it repeatedly. I say my beef and then you say why it happened and then say your beef and I say why it happened and I say my beef …. Over and over. Then the apologies begin. We repeat our apologies with each new beef especially if we are really trying to be good believers. This is all past and regurgitated so many times that no wonder friendships end. It is not about fixing the problem rather it is time to go forward.

Mapping it forward begins with what we first loved in each other and then to a solution. What has your friendship-on-the-rocks contributed in your life? Here are some focused questions: What is their story? What do you enjoy about them and their story? What are the ‘sames’ that hold you two together? I know without a doubt that differences make us unique and often make a relationship richer and stronger, but in a time of difficulty focusing on what makes us different will only keep us in the past and damage the connections further.

Answering these questions for yourself takes you out of the past hurt and moves you to present day. Now is the time to map it forward. Here are some thinking questions: How motivated are you to resolving this? Do you have a plan for making another attempt? What do you want to achieve? What are you noticing about your thinking? Would it be worth turning your insights into habits? Do you know what to do to turn this into a habit? Are you clear about what to do next?

I have been understanding that my strong friendship feeling had been sabotaged by some important break ups recently. I have had it. If a pattern develops, maybe I should just let go and go a different route. What I love about God is that He will keep nudging me, helping me to think this through even when I don’t want to.

I love my brain. I love thinking. I love insights. I love making new habits to do better in my life. I love how I feel strongly about things like the power of forever and deep relationships. I hate fighting. I hate debate. I hate others telling me what to do and I hate it immensely when others call me bossy. Yes, bossy means that I slipped up and was giving advice somewhere. Sometimes it is sooooo easy to do especially when someone is complaining or frustrated over some problem. I tend to make suggestions only to give support when it really is giving them unwanted advice.

God in His Wisdom had this book on the library shelf. I saw it there before and this time I decided I should try it. It is called “Quiet Leadership” - ‘Help people think better – don’t tell them what to do!’ by David Rock. This book has been speaking my language. It has proven my own theory that brains think in ‘maps’. It shows you how to think, how to listen, how to speak, how to allow insights, and how to make habits. It shows you how focusing on the problem is really staying in the past. It shows you how to think solutions and mapping forward to keep yourself in the present and on into the future!!! Hip Hip Horray! I knew it all along in my gut but had no real proof or direction to stand tall in this area. There is so much info here I am about ready to explode! I am super excited as I have mentally exercised some problem solving. I am ready to be strong and believe in depth. I am ready to focus on the present with a broken friendship. I am even going to learn to say what I really mean instead of beating around the bush in order not offend others. It is not about changing others. It is about nurturing my thoughts, my listening, my speech, and my habits to make them pleasing to God and to be more at peace with myself and others.

I feel as though I came back to the place in my heart where relationships are powerful and deep. It is affirming what I had once believed. No more missteps. I am ready to begin again. I know the future will test me with inattention and seek to devalue the depth. The enemy is a thief but he will no longer steal what is precious to me – authentic potent relationships. My focus is on their story and what I enjoy about them. I am excited!!!

Disclaimer: I am making strong statements and I have work to do on this area. But I am strengthening my thoughts and hope to get a better grasp of my friends and this friend path I am on. I have an action plan that I want to bring and offer to a friendship once ended ...

r - e - s- p - e - c - t

What is it about RESPECT? Why does it surface and hide and surface making me go into a search of why it is so important? What is RESPECT? Teaching teenagers with the oldest only being 5 years younger than I, I was told by the 'principal' that I had to earn their RESPECT. I wanted to hurl. From the depths of my soul it came, Trust is earned. Respect is given. Period. Always and Forever, the end.

Ok ok, I decided to make a list of what I felt about RESPECT to have at the surface to know and expect from myself.

1. Ask - When you ask permission, you are honoring the person.
2. Greetings - Say hello not only with your best voice but with Bright Eyes. Eye to eye contact is taking a time out from other things and giving your full attention to another in that split second!
3. Soft words - All of your words should be calm & affirming like the honeycomb with the crisp and the sweet nourishing another's being and their life. What better way to disfuse your own anger as well as another's but with soft words?
4. Your word - Keep your promises but also follow through!
5. Compliments - Watch how a limp soul, turns towards the sunshine!
6. Please and Thank you's - simple courtesy.
7. Open communication - Do your level best not to 'read' in to other's actions. Get it straight from their mouth. Look into their eyes. Too often it is easy to read the negative in their inattentive moves when it could be that they are struggling with thier life path.

A very simple list but can be very difficult! I am sooooo sick and tired of how rude people are especially on the telephone. Having to answer the phone for a living, I can become quite run down from such brash, ill-mannered, and demanding people. It is hard to keep the anger down and become rude myself. It is a hard battle.

As Monday played out with its horror, we can still redeem the time. Respect is at its core LOVE. Everyone can respect and love each more. A compliment is often what we long to hear but die a little bit every time an opportunity goes...

turned inward ...

Depression is anger turned inward.

Whoa! How interesting is that? This is the first time I heard of it, but it is soooo true. I sort of knew it.

Oh, how I miss my conversations with him! What paths we would go down or what dots we could connect. I loved his brain. I love my own too. Oh well ...

chip away!

I have noticed that with gruff men that you can actually chip away the rock and reveal the 'friendly' inside by keeping up the daily greetings and good mornings with your best smile. So if this has worked on some pretty tough dudes, it should work on the one that I have a schedule meeting with HR tomorrow. In honest words this guy and his department aren't playing nice with me the receptionist. I am getting sick of it and have some not so happy feelings about it. I've have been taming the beast inside and will try to work on solutions. However, I do believe my best arsenal is just my smile and bright eyes to chip away the bad feelings and ruts...

yellow violets ...

I was trying to shake a severely sullen state of mind as I was feeling crushed on all sides. My list of treats started with warm milk, well maybe if I needed warmth tonight to soothe an achy heart. Other treats was maybe a really cool mag on flowers or cottage living with a huge amount of beautiful romantic pictures for me to excape to or get some items to paint up for my show coming in three weeks. Flowers were not on the list but that was my favorite treat of the night.

I went into the local 'fix it' store. My mission was to get corner tiles for my show. I am using them as price signs. Pretty cool if I say so myself. I will be painting my purple flowers on the side and using a dry erase marker in the shade of purple. So it will be useable time and time again. It will look so great on the blue tablecloth! Oh, off on a trail .. back to these rows of flowers marked way down. I think the cold weather had taken them over because the flowers looked a little sad. Pansies and especially violets (johnny jump ups) have a huge weak in the knees effect on me. I wanted purple but the yellow ones had an intense stare and even though I argue that I couldn't because I had no green thumbs, I picked up a small 6 in flat for a buck! They went into small pots I had lying around empty. I was so excited over them because this is a major paint weekend and be kind to me time. I now had inspiration!

Note to the guys:
Instead of getting or not getting cut flowers, try getting them a special plant. Some women are going to soft with rose bushes. Just imagine her showing off her rose garden. Some women are going to go mushy with those bright orange tiger lillies. Some like me will go gooy over little violets and blueberry bushes. Get creative!

Note to God:
Thank You for creating such a gorgeous beauty in a simple violet! Oh, how I love to just look in the petal soft face and try to capture Your Great Creativity in my own human paint and brush...

"I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.
Now choose life."
(Deuteronomy 30:19)

mud slogging ...

The bad feelings come from some internal trigger. There is no control and it comes right on schedule - a stretch of good mood days followed by a stretch of bad mood days. It comes on especially hard when things don’t go smoothly land in the stretch of sad feelings like the vehicle that seems to drain you of funds. The middle to mundane becomes unbelievable monsters. You feel crushed and attacked. It is like your energy field is hyper sensitive to all around you and there is no way to desensitize. If you have ever been around an autistic person and watched how sensitive they are to their surroundings yet seem so far away verbally, you can begin to picture how these sad emotions take root in a woman’s soul and her struggle to stay on top. You know those feelings where you need to explode but you hold it inside because you want to be a good girl.

Women are God-Created as beautiful creatures so He knows how His girls struggle with these not so beautiful feelings. No matter how I try to focus on the good, I feel like I am walking up a mountain in mud up to my knees. I am trying to surround these days with music and beautiful pictures. I hum a soothing hymn. I shout out His Attributes. I declare Victory. But I got to figure out if I can incorporate some good clean stress relieving humor into the mix. I need laughter and that is the hardest to accomplish. Oh, and more sleep too! Yesterday and two preceding days were bad, today is better. Opps, no the day got worse after I wrote these words. I am doing a bit of an edit now that I came back to my words. I will keep trying! I want to work with it and not against it. This will only happen for a little while more. Then I am told the mood stays good! Hurray for that!

Mom can't remember what it was like and her advise is 'and this too shall pass'. Ok, not the words I want to hear! May I will love thoses words someday just not now!! Just give me my blankie and my teddy bear. Hibernation sounds good for the soul ... no, claw marks left on others...


Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain:
I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Words: Ci vil la D. Mar tin, 1905.
Music: Charles H. Gabriel

not abandon ... Easter's gift

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
because You will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will You let your Holy One see decay.
~Ps 16:9-10

Dear Savior,
You did this all for me. You took on my punishment. You died where I should have. You arose. Death could not keep You. You offered me new life. I accepted. You keep me from the grave. New buds and blooms have taken hold of my branches. You nurture and feed me. No decay is present. You nip it even before I am fully aware of its dangers. You nudge me to think anew. I listen even with the hard bits. My heart is joyful and I shout. I am secure evermore in You.

'Trust the Lord, oh my soul and all that is within me. I will bless His Holy Name.' Thank You cannot express what You have done for me... Huge huge hug.
~always your girl

were are the worms?

Robins all puffed with no necks have been standing on their twig-like legs in brown fields this week in hopes of getting any warmth the dirt might have stored from the sun. Mid Marth had temps in the high 70*s. But this week temps fell to below freezing. 20* has frozen up what Spring has brought in little midget leaves on trees and bushes. Tulips and daffodills in bloom are bent and icy. Winter snow came last night and has stayed all day and promises to continue on into Easter.

We have had Spring snow where it has been very wet and warm in April. But this is wierd! I did thank God for the Winter Beauty last night as well as a prayer for the poor Robins! They aren't flying very fast and an orange spot on the road saddens my heart...

peculiar!!!

Looking for that Blessed Hope, and the Glorious appearing of the Great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that He might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works. ~Titus 2:13-14

I love those words 'peculiar people' but then comes the punch ' zealous of goods works ' !! Ouch! Am I as zealous head over heels eager to do good works? Sadly, I could do more. I often get tired and find solace out of the way and out of sight. His words a purifying reminder to work it out in my life...

my blue brain ...

Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow. You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles. Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

What Color Is Your Brain?

Hmmmmm, I do have to say I really love my brain. I often catch myself thanking God for insights and nudges He sends my way. Mellow is interesting and I do believe it true. If I am at an impasse, I know that it is because I am to do something I don't want to. If I am stuck in waiting, I know to move to what I can control and giving the hard stuff to God. I crave calm and I seek it through balancing my thoughts. It is truly a delightful place for me. It is true that I am in a meditative most of the time and I give no apologies! I love thinking. I love mapping out solutions. It is creative juices for my living and for my passions. I love my blue brain!

reflections of Easter ...

My thoughts started connecting dots. I was noticing how the story of Abraham taking Issac to sacrifice as God commanded and how God led and ultimately sacrificed His Beloved Son. As a dear friend once told me of how the same Bloke wrote the whole Bible because He wrote the same story though out (butterfly effect), I can't help but notice it here even as it contrasts a bit. The Issac story teaches us to let go of all that we hold precious and the Jesus story teaches to hold on THE PRECIOUS. I love how God tells a story. His Story is always of His Deep Love for us.... It is a Love Story ... a Love Letter...
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This evening as I watched an reenactment of doubting Thomas not believing until he could actually touch the Master's nailed pierce hands and the wound in His side. I realized that Thomas has the love language of TOUCH. He needed to touch to know. My heart ached and whispered a prayer for a dear one who also has the love language of touch. Oh, how it must weigh heavy on these types. Oh, how it takes a deep strength to believe without touching. I know our relationship wasn't as deep for him as it was for me because I need words and he needs touch..... I felt him struggle with where he was with his life. I wonder how much of has to do with touch and feeling YOU in his life... a question I would love to ask. God has him. He is my Issac ... he is not mine...

my forge ...

Ahhhh, to open a book that I have read in the past, to find notes jotted down, to find words underlined just for my future self to come back to and find nurishment again...

the Blacksmith is God
Iron is my faith
Fire is my suffering
Shaping is my growth
Forge is the waiting

''Waiting'' by Ben Patterson

Quinoa!!!

It is funny how you can go about your life thinking you know all there is about food. Well, at least the basics. It is also amazing how your brain searches for substitutes. I can now add Quinoa to my list.

I have never heard of this before but on Saturday a cook was using it in her passover meal. Then I happened to find it at the local grocery. So I decided to see if it had been on the list of what they tested for my food allergies and found it was safe. I had to find out more about this mystery food.

It is a seed but it is an excellent alternative to white rice and I can prepare it in the rice cooker that I had bought and now was deciding if I should throw out. I will have to try it in my stir fry! It also says you can toast it in a pan like a granola! There is quinoa flour toooooo! Hmmm, will have to try it in my baking...

I am putting it on my grocery list.

A whole new world out there!

moving in!

I got new neighbors!!!! There is always a sense of dread when there is the changing of the guard but not this one. I've been watching them move in and they sing most beautifully! Yes, they sing while they work! When I hear the beautiful chords I rush to the window and am rewarded with their scurry.

I live on the top floor and there is this bush that has finally reached my window. It is a great flat for my fine feathered friends. I think they are fenches. She is grey and he is grey with red. Yesturday it seemed that she was figuring out the layout and today she brought in some bedding. They seem to work together as I saw them leave together in flight last night. What a joy to watch. How expectant is my heart as they nest! New babies to come! I hope I get to see them eat and sing and take their first flight!

Thank You, most Beautiful Creator! I am super excited a this beautiful gift of life and of joy! How Spring like! How God-like! Oh, so true. Earth is crammed with the stuff of Heaven!! Thank You for 'expecting' and the mystery!