as for me ...

When he has been gone for six years and suddenly pops back in your life and forgiveness happens and things are back to normal ... well, normal as in the connection is still there but also the normal of his absence began to accumulate - three weeks to be exact!  {takes in deep breath} No! I wasn't going to go there. I wasn't going to go ballistic but it didn't mean that my feelings weren't a bit raw.  

God answered my prayer in six years when I had expected to find out in Heaven.  What if God gave me my answer to take it back again?  Would I be ok?  Well, I would have to be after an answered prayer that rocked my world.  So... now what?  

I decided I would wait until four weeks had gone by all the while asking God deal with him.  I didn't have to wait that long before I found out from him that some changes where happening in his life and there would be some wait times and maybe longer wait times than the 3 weeks.  Here again it was God working the plans out so that I wouldn't go crazy.  And just like that it zapped my frazzled heart into a calming stillness. 

So this girl is just going to take this really cool friendship in stride.  This guy will have to lead; I refuse too.  But there isn't just two sides to this relationship.  God is the third part and because He has been soooo gooood to me with this relationship, I am at rest and it feels so good.  I know me and there will still be anxious moments but I know how to stop it. 

But as for me,

it is good to be near God.

I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;

      I will tell of Your Deeds.

Psalms 73:28

As for me I chose to love one another and I will keep choosing to love one another  ....