"Sometimes we expect more from others
because we would be willing to do that much for them."
because we would be willing to do that much for them."
I do jump in for all its worth and express profusely like a painter in a mad frenzy with colors flying in amazing array to get this astounding vision from mind to canvas. I find the only reason to jump is because I am moved from deep within my heart and soul. I am a sensitive and an unique. I feel acutely. I see with wild abandon. I know where I am not wanted and most of the time I know not to throw my pearls in with the pigs.
But what do you do with those special people that the connection is strong and you give everything you got but they cannot do the same back? It is like they are dancing on my wound and it hurts like sharp knives in my heart. Do I change that part of me that keeps and cherishes with childlike wonder? Do I stop expressing with childlike abandon? Oh no, I don't. One cannot change what the Creator has created unique and beautiful nor do I want to. I have done that before and won't do that again.
If they cannot give the same back to me, do I see it as their handicap? Expectations would be low. Whatever they could offer, I would enjoy and keep. They are just locked up. See, I could just wrap this special person in a box and wrap a bow up all neat and orderly. I know if I could do that it wouldn't hurt so much! However, I long for him to be free of all that is making him run. {Sigh}
I know I must trust and obey God. I must love one another. I must wait quietly. I must be faithful in this relationship. If Joseph of the OT could be faithful in all of his relationships surely I can to. I must honor God's staging. There are great things to come. Wasn't it an answered prayer when this special someone came back into my life? I thought sure I would never know until I reached Heaven's shore. But my mind ponders what God is planning but that isn't my job!
Too much? Sadly, I still have no answer for that. No, I do have an answer. I will express. I will be wait quietly. I will pray. I will create with wild abandon! I will feverish write here in this sacred place. Maybe I won't scare him off with my crazy brain overload but then again I just might have already. Yikes!
But what do you do with those special people that the connection is strong and you give everything you got but they cannot do the same back? It is like they are dancing on my wound and it hurts like sharp knives in my heart. Do I change that part of me that keeps and cherishes with childlike wonder? Do I stop expressing with childlike abandon? Oh no, I don't. One cannot change what the Creator has created unique and beautiful nor do I want to. I have done that before and won't do that again.
If they cannot give the same back to me, do I see it as their handicap? Expectations would be low. Whatever they could offer, I would enjoy and keep. They are just locked up. See, I could just wrap this special person in a box and wrap a bow up all neat and orderly. I know if I could do that it wouldn't hurt so much! However, I long for him to be free of all that is making him run. {Sigh}
I know I must trust and obey God. I must love one another. I must wait quietly. I must be faithful in this relationship. If Joseph of the OT could be faithful in all of his relationships surely I can to. I must honor God's staging. There are great things to come. Wasn't it an answered prayer when this special someone came back into my life? I thought sure I would never know until I reached Heaven's shore. But my mind ponders what God is planning but that isn't my job!
Too much? Sadly, I still have no answer for that. No, I do have an answer. I will express. I will be wait quietly. I will pray. I will create with wild abandon! I will feverish write here in this sacred place. Maybe I won't scare him off with my crazy brain overload but then again I just might have already. Yikes!
The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord;
He directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases.
~ Proverbs 21:1 ~
This is what the Sovereign Lord,
the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance & rest
is your salvation,
in quietness & trust is your strength..."
~ Isaiah 30:15 ~
This is what the Sovereign Lord,
the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance & rest
is your salvation,
in quietness & trust is your strength..."
~ Isaiah 30:15 ~
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