I had a daydream where I was riding a mighty steed in a hard run. The mighty steed's mane and tail whipped wildly in the wind as did my heavy hooded cloak. I am making my way to the Little Church of the Wildwood where I would dine at a banquet feast as well as to lay down my heavy pack upon the Alter of Prayer. Afterwards I am looking forward to a more leisurely ride home. The songbird of Hope would be singing Joyfully within my heart. I would feel a glow...
However, the daydream becomes more sinister as my steed is wildly charging forward in a heavy sweat. I am frantically holding on as well as holding onto the Sword of the Lord. The church isn't like the one of the Wildwood. This one is broken down and is vandalized by man's own message and agenda. A heavy darkness the air and a sticky fog fills the brain. The Word of God is betrayed and deface. It is a war to getting back to our first love...
I weep as I am surface from my daydream.... God's Word is the Truth, the Life, the Way I must hold too. All I need is written in His Book. I never thought I would have to be a crusader of love for His Word to my own people and my own place...
The Church has One Foundation
Long with a scornful wonder,
We saw her sore oppressed
By schisms rent asunder,
By heresies distressed.
Yet saints their watch were keeping
To hail a brighter day,
When God should stop their weeping,
Take their reproach away.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Robin Hood
I would rate Robin Hood a 9.5. It is up there with the likes of Braveheart & The Last of the Mohicans. I love when nobility is for the common man to obtain. I think in all of us there is the urging need to be noble, brave, and kind but our daily lives seem so ordinary, drab, and mundane. In reality there are no castles to defend or dragons to slay.... or are our eyes veiled?
I felt I was in good hands when I went to see this. The director of the Gladiator, Rigley Scott, made this movie. There was a lot of hoopla over how he depicted it but that didn't matter to me before or after seeing the movie. It is a good story. I loved it. Of course, I do fancy a good romance and adventure. The 'knight' gets his girl. Good ol Russell Crowe in his gruff manly way has his kindness. I think we all know the story but I really beamed when you saw Robin out there at night planting the corn! My heart shrieked 'Score'! Can't wait to see Maid Marian's face when she finds out!
Again, I loved the movie. I long for nobility ....
Probably wouldn't let the kiddos see this. There is a lot of fighting even though it wasn't gory. There is a situation where the king of England is in bed and you end up seeing buttocks.... {rolls eyes}
I felt I was in good hands when I went to see this. The director of the Gladiator, Rigley Scott, made this movie. There was a lot of hoopla over how he depicted it but that didn't matter to me before or after seeing the movie. It is a good story. I loved it. Of course, I do fancy a good romance and adventure. The 'knight' gets his girl. Good ol Russell Crowe in his gruff manly way has his kindness. I think we all know the story but I really beamed when you saw Robin out there at night planting the corn! My heart shrieked 'Score'! Can't wait to see Maid Marian's face when she finds out!
Again, I loved the movie. I long for nobility ....
Probably wouldn't let the kiddos see this. There is a lot of fighting even though it wasn't gory. There is a situation where the king of England is in bed and you end up seeing buttocks.... {rolls eyes}
Thursday, May 20, 2010
listening to the liar for truth!?
I am not sure how to start. I really need to find a new church. I am frustrated and my parents are frustrated. We have done a bit of church hopping and we highly doubt we will find one. This church isn't as fundamental as the ones I went to as I grew up. I must say that of late the bad theology has kept me on guard. Maybe I need that but I want to be able to go to the Banquet feast and eat wholesome healthy food. No junk or garage please.
I cringed when I saw who was speaking on Sunday. This person is notorious for taking Scripture out of context to push her message. Yes, I said her. I don't care for women preachers. Speakers are a different animal. Why don't I leave? I am single and I am tired of doing everything on my own. Church should be a family thing .... at least. Dad is my covering since I am single but with his comment on Sunday something about not wanting to go to a conservative church.... What? I WANT a conservative church! I want to know that what is coming from the pulpit is Bible based.
Well, I should get to what I need to unload!
She started off saying that God has laid on her heart what she was going to say. As the Sunday sermon was coming to a close she said "The church needs to adapt to the world" in order to win others to Christ. She had a visual where 3 men where on stage, one holding the cross, the next had his hands like folded like the church, and the third holding a globe. They were all lined up. Then she moved the globe up saying that as the world changes the church needs to change so there is a direct line to the cross..... I WAS LIVID! I wanted to jump up and shout and make a royal fuss. I could hardly contain myself. Good thing I am a quiet person!
I have been thinking about this all week almost non-stop. There also have been other life events around here that just have added fuel to my fire. I have come to the conclusion that if I ever have the opportunity for one on one face to face communication where someone says this is what the Lord has laid on my heart or God is in this and I know the Holy Word does NOT say this, I am going to let the hair stand straight on my neck and let my face get red and I am going to point blank say, PROVE IT. Give me at least 3 passages in the Holy Bible that says what you are trying to feed me!
God NEVER shows or speaks to us things that He has not already spelled out in great detail in His Holy Word. Beware least you call Him a liar!
1. Yes, God's Word is for the WHOLE WORLD/ not partial
*John 3:16 *Romans 2:11
Mark 16:15 "He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.
2. God's Word is narrow - no accommodations - no sugar coating.
3. God's Word is a stench & an aroma II Cor 2:14-17
4. Trust & Obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus
*Must live by the Sword
5. God's Word & God Himself NEVER changes
6. must live in the world but be ye separate!
7. be Biblically correct not political correct.
God does not reveal one thing to you and say something different in the Word. If so, maybe you what you are listening to is coming from the evil one. Hmmmmm!
I cringed when I saw who was speaking on Sunday. This person is notorious for taking Scripture out of context to push her message. Yes, I said her. I don't care for women preachers. Speakers are a different animal. Why don't I leave? I am single and I am tired of doing everything on my own. Church should be a family thing .... at least. Dad is my covering since I am single but with his comment on Sunday something about not wanting to go to a conservative church.... What? I WANT a conservative church! I want to know that what is coming from the pulpit is Bible based.
Well, I should get to what I need to unload!
She started off saying that God has laid on her heart what she was going to say. As the Sunday sermon was coming to a close she said "The church needs to adapt to the world" in order to win others to Christ. She had a visual where 3 men where on stage, one holding the cross, the next had his hands like folded like the church, and the third holding a globe. They were all lined up. Then she moved the globe up saying that as the world changes the church needs to change so there is a direct line to the cross..... I WAS LIVID! I wanted to jump up and shout and make a royal fuss. I could hardly contain myself. Good thing I am a quiet person!
I have been thinking about this all week almost non-stop. There also have been other life events around here that just have added fuel to my fire. I have come to the conclusion that if I ever have the opportunity for one on one face to face communication where someone says this is what the Lord has laid on my heart or God is in this and I know the Holy Word does NOT say this, I am going to let the hair stand straight on my neck and let my face get red and I am going to point blank say, PROVE IT. Give me at least 3 passages in the Holy Bible that says what you are trying to feed me!
God NEVER shows or speaks to us things that He has not already spelled out in great detail in His Holy Word. Beware least you call Him a liar!
1. Yes, God's Word is for the WHOLE WORLD/ not partial
*John 3:16 *Romans 2:11
Mark 16:15 "He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.
2. God's Word is narrow - no accommodations - no sugar coating.
3. God's Word is a stench & an aroma II Cor 2:14-17
4. Trust & Obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus
*Must live by the Sword
5. God's Word & God Himself NEVER changes
6. must live in the world but be ye separate!
7. be Biblically correct not political correct.
God does not reveal one thing to you and say something different in the Word. If so, maybe you what you are listening to is coming from the evil one. Hmmmmm!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Truth vs a fool
God never shows or speaks to us things that He has not spelled out in great detail in His Holy Word. Beware lest you call Him a liar! .... Yeah, I have a bee in my bonnet for sure this time. Of late it feels like I have to be 'the Word defender'. Guess this happens when you soak in His Words. First, you find that you are totally falling in love with God and then you get real touchy when others mess it up.
Twice now I have heard people say this is what God is telling me and then when they share it, I am shocked they can even say it. Example, the pastor said that "the church needs to adapt to the world..." YIKES! PROVE IT!!! GIVE ME AT THE VERY LEAST THREE PASSAGES THAT SAY THAT!!!!! Well, more on this later. I have so much to refute this claim but I have very little time tonight to really exhale! The other example was an excuse to live with a man. Oh, God led us together .... What???????? God ordained marriage not living together!
"The foolishness of a man twists his way,
and his heart frets against the Lord."
~ Proverbs 19:3
"Because, although they knew God,
they did not glorify Him as God,
nor where they thankful,
but became futile in their thoughts,
and their foolish hearts were darkened.
Professing to be wise,
they became fools."
~Romans 1:21-22
Once upon a time I had something real good and I would ask God what I should do in certain situations. But this real good thing is now long gone and I realized to my horror that I was going on what I felt God was telling me and not going straight to the Word to get my answer. Now I am always looking for the answers from His Word. See, feelings are so fickle and people are wishy so-washy. I needed SOLID truth. Something that does not fail or fall apart. I never again want to be insecure. It is like be sea sick on a turbulent ocean that is heaves you this way that that. All you want is to kiss the solid sturdy unshakable ground. I won't go back. It must be solid quality answers and you only get that from God's Holy Word.
Twice now I have heard people say this is what God is telling me and then when they share it, I am shocked they can even say it. Example, the pastor said that "the church needs to adapt to the world..." YIKES! PROVE IT!!! GIVE ME AT THE VERY LEAST THREE PASSAGES THAT SAY THAT!!!!! Well, more on this later. I have so much to refute this claim but I have very little time tonight to really exhale! The other example was an excuse to live with a man. Oh, God led us together .... What???????? God ordained marriage not living together!
"The foolishness of a man twists his way,
and his heart frets against the Lord."
~ Proverbs 19:3
"Because, although they knew God,
they did not glorify Him as God,
nor where they thankful,
but became futile in their thoughts,
and their foolish hearts were darkened.
Professing to be wise,
they became fools."
~Romans 1:21-22
Once upon a time I had something real good and I would ask God what I should do in certain situations. But this real good thing is now long gone and I realized to my horror that I was going on what I felt God was telling me and not going straight to the Word to get my answer. Now I am always looking for the answers from His Word. See, feelings are so fickle and people are wishy so-washy. I needed SOLID truth. Something that does not fail or fall apart. I never again want to be insecure. It is like be sea sick on a turbulent ocean that is heaves you this way that that. All you want is to kiss the solid sturdy unshakable ground. I won't go back. It must be solid quality answers and you only get that from God's Holy Word.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
10 Sacreds ...
I listen to Ravi on BnnRadio.org on Sundays and he always gets me thinking. He said that when you reading the Ten Commandments that you really should put in the word SACRED. So I tried it and you should to.
Here is my list:
1. God is Sacred.
2. Serving & Loving God is Sacred / Every day with God is Sacred.
3. God's Name is Sacred.
4. the Sabbath is Sacred.
5. Honoring your parents is Sacred.
6. Life is Sacred.
7. Marriage is Sacred.
8. Boundaries are Sacred.
9. Truth is Sacred.
10. Contentment is Sacred.
Your list just might be different than mine but hopefully it just might jar your heart from the numbness everyday life can have on it. I know I am looking at the Ten Commandments differently. They are sweeter and dearer ...
Here is my list:
1. God is Sacred.
2. Serving & Loving God is Sacred / Every day with God is Sacred.
3. God's Name is Sacred.
4. the Sabbath is Sacred.
5. Honoring your parents is Sacred.
6. Life is Sacred.
7. Marriage is Sacred.
8. Boundaries are Sacred.
9. Truth is Sacred.
10. Contentment is Sacred.
Your list just might be different than mine but hopefully it just might jar your heart from the numbness everyday life can have on it. I know I am looking at the Ten Commandments differently. They are sweeter and dearer ...
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Hallelujah is more ...
I certainly have a bee in my bonnet so I hope that I can focus all my thoughts! I am huge on the meaning of words to the point I have pet words and words that I use only in a certain way. Then add to it that I am huge on the hymns and that this new 'christian' music is basically too much about the 'me' instead of God and too repetitive. Soooooooooo, there was a new song sung at church ... talk about 'heart'burn!
I have no clue what the title was but it probably was 'more than a hallelujah'. The song was about how bring our messes, our pain, and our problems to God was better than a hallelujah. I wanted to scream.
Interesting tidbit was that Pastor Steven Davies that I listen to on BNNRadio.org has been preaching on Revelations. He just happen to break down the meaning of Hallelujah. 'Hallelu' means praise. 'Jah is short for Yahweh / Jehovah. Hallelujah is a word that is pronounced the same way in every language. All this new knowledge as added to my fuel!
See, I noticed several secular songs of late have taken the word Hallelujah and really downgraded it. I have even heard people on tv use it and to me it blaspheming God. Oh, say what is wrong with the song sung in church.... Let's go back to Job. What are his words? "THOUGH HE SLAY ME, YET WILL I HOPE IN HIM" ~ Job 13:15 How can you hope in God without having a little bit of of a song in the recesses of the heart and without praising Him. Go to Hab 3:17-18 "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the field produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD. I WILL BE JOYFUL IN GOD MY SAVIOR." Wow! To be broken apart and a total mess and left up the pieces to God AND praise Him is what it is all about.
Bringing my messes to God canNOT be more than a Hallelujah to Him. I have to do both. There is no halfway about it. If all I am doing is bring my messes to God and forgetting or a better word 'refusing' to bring my Hallelujah, I have not learned anything at all. Let us learn from Job and Habakkuk. It is less of me and more of Him. He is more than worthy of our Hallelujahs even in these earthly messes. Oh, and get this 'PRAISE IS BEAUTIFUL'. Oh! Oh! Oh! I get it like a kid squirming in her chair with arm wildly waving and the tongue razor sharp with the answer!!! Being able to Praise Yahweh is the reflection of my soul meaning my soul is in the right place and is beautiful! I love that!!!
Praise the LORD!
For it is good to sing praises to our God;
For it is pleasant, and praise is beautiful.
~ Psalms 147:1
Hallelujah
I have no clue what the title was but it probably was 'more than a hallelujah'. The song was about how bring our messes, our pain, and our problems to God was better than a hallelujah. I wanted to scream.
Interesting tidbit was that Pastor Steven Davies that I listen to on BNNRadio.org has been preaching on Revelations. He just happen to break down the meaning of Hallelujah. 'Hallelu' means praise. 'Jah is short for Yahweh / Jehovah. Hallelujah is a word that is pronounced the same way in every language. All this new knowledge as added to my fuel!
See, I noticed several secular songs of late have taken the word Hallelujah and really downgraded it. I have even heard people on tv use it and to me it blaspheming God. Oh, say what is wrong with the song sung in church.... Let's go back to Job. What are his words? "THOUGH HE SLAY ME, YET WILL I HOPE IN HIM" ~ Job 13:15 How can you hope in God without having a little bit of of a song in the recesses of the heart and without praising Him. Go to Hab 3:17-18 "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the field produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD. I WILL BE JOYFUL IN GOD MY SAVIOR." Wow! To be broken apart and a total mess and left up the pieces to God AND praise Him is what it is all about.
Bringing my messes to God canNOT be more than a Hallelujah to Him. I have to do both. There is no halfway about it. If all I am doing is bring my messes to God and forgetting or a better word 'refusing' to bring my Hallelujah, I have not learned anything at all. Let us learn from Job and Habakkuk. It is less of me and more of Him. He is more than worthy of our Hallelujahs even in these earthly messes. Oh, and get this 'PRAISE IS BEAUTIFUL'. Oh! Oh! Oh! I get it like a kid squirming in her chair with arm wildly waving and the tongue razor sharp with the answer!!! Being able to Praise Yahweh is the reflection of my soul meaning my soul is in the right place and is beautiful! I love that!!!
For it is good to sing praises to our God;
For it is pleasant, and praise is beautiful.
~ Psalms 147:1
Hallelujah
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Armor of Light
let us therefore cast off the works of darkness,
and let us put on the armour of light."
I Pet 4:7
Armor of Light got my mind twirling on this! It is like have a super power but in truth it is God-Power. I don't have to let stuff get me in a mental soul shaking bind.
Yesterday I had a headache that was turning quickly into making me sick. Instead of the itchy eyes and running nose my allergies mimic my food allergy headaches. This isn't good when trying to identify where the headache is coming from. Then I am wondering if I should take Zyrtec because my symptoms aren't listed on the box. I think the drainage is backstage and so I take them. I second guessed myself so I did go off yesterday.... Welllllll, back on today.
Anyway a situation came up at work on Mondayand while others are falling apart, I just sort of let roll and not dwell on it. Yesterday it was harder to do because I was in such pain. I had a lowpoint and then moved on. As I traveled home I brought up the Armor of Light with God. I need to remember my 'God-Power' more readily so that the lowpoints never keep me down.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
my love story is best!
"The best love story is your own."
I heard this and it stuck with me. At first I argued with it that the Best Love Story Ever was God sending His Beloved Son to die for my sins. Yes, this is true. Yet, as I continued to think about this I know too that my love story is better those I like to listen and see. See I am a big sap when it comes to how you might have met your love. I love to a good love story! Hmmm, nothing compares to my own. But you say that I am single what possible love story do you have?
True on the outside I am the loner (not for the lack of trying to make friends) and a misfit. I do not go with the crowd. I have really big thoughts. I am super tenacious to a fault and can't figure out why others fail to have staying power. Sadly, this has been from when I was a little girl whose only friends where her books and her bike.
Well, through the years Jesus Christ has been my Romancer and Husbandman. He choose me. He is my Alpha and Omega. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is Faithful and True. He is my Great Shepherd. Psalms 18 is the best part of my love story!
{happy sigh} How my heart glows!
I heard this and it stuck with me. At first I argued with it that the Best Love Story Ever was God sending His Beloved Son to die for my sins. Yes, this is true. Yet, as I continued to think about this I know too that my love story is better those I like to listen and see. See I am a big sap when it comes to how you might have met your love. I love to a good love story! Hmmm, nothing compares to my own. But you say that I am single what possible love story do you have?
True on the outside I am the loner (not for the lack of trying to make friends) and a misfit. I do not go with the crowd. I have really big thoughts. I am super tenacious to a fault and can't figure out why others fail to have staying power. Sadly, this has been from when I was a little girl whose only friends where her books and her bike.
Well, through the years Jesus Christ has been my Romancer and Husbandman. He choose me. He is my Alpha and Omega. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is Faithful and True. He is my Great Shepherd. Psalms 18 is the best part of my love story!
{happy sigh} How my heart glows!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
leaning NOT defeated!
betty: "Why didn't you want to tell us that your cancer is back?"
sally: "Well, it felt like I lost and that the cancer won. It doesn't help that I am angry and sad and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. Plus, I am just plain tired. I tired of not feeling good, not being able to work, not being able to be out and about. I am tired of over thinking and wondering how the bills will be paid. I am tired of not having my hair and feeling bloated. I just wanted to conquer this. I wanted to at least make through this first bout free of cancer. It didn't even work!" {sobs}
~~~~~~~~~~
No, this isn't a real conversation but I am trying to get into the skin of a co-worker who didn't want others to know that her cancer is back and back meaner and stronger. As I have gone to the mat to pray, something bubbles up inside my heart whispering that illness of any kind is not a life sentence but rather a journey. Hey, anything in life should be considered a journey. I have to remind myself of this very thing in my own situation where I am not doing my dreams. This too is a journey.
A believer has it going for them because the Almighty God has planned the journey ahead of time just designed for us. He has gone before and goes with us! Whispering "Do NOT fear. Be not discourage!" If only we would listen. Duet 31:8
How do you tell a non-believer of the hope inside? I find it most difficult to encourage a non-believer, because I base everything on the the Word. Maybe again, it just about living out my faith with the God-Given JOY He gives...
I can understand not wanting to tell anyone about the cancer coming back. I know I would feel very defeated. I hope that I would pick myself up and realize that it isn't about losing to cancer. It isn't even about beating it. Rather it is about leaning on the Almighty Arms. It is about Him being my Tour Guide and letting go of all my control. {ok, here it goes...} To for once just enjoy the adventure He for me. I am big on learning and with every journey there are lessons to learn tucked in every corner. Now if I could just remember all of this when I am lying flat on my back wondering what just ran me over!
One thing for sure is that even if she doesn't know that I know, I can pray to the One Who knows all things. Praying trumps cards and well wishes... it even trumps my feeling helpless in figuring out how to encourage her.... it is human nature to reach out... and for now praying is all I can do...
sally: "Well, it felt like I lost and that the cancer won. It doesn't help that I am angry and sad and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. Plus, I am just plain tired. I tired of not feeling good, not being able to work, not being able to be out and about. I am tired of over thinking and wondering how the bills will be paid. I am tired of not having my hair and feeling bloated. I just wanted to conquer this. I wanted to at least make through this first bout free of cancer. It didn't even work!" {sobs}
No, this isn't a real conversation but I am trying to get into the skin of a co-worker who didn't want others to know that her cancer is back and back meaner and stronger. As I have gone to the mat to pray, something bubbles up inside my heart whispering that illness of any kind is not a life sentence but rather a journey. Hey, anything in life should be considered a journey. I have to remind myself of this very thing in my own situation where I am not doing my dreams. This too is a journey.
A believer has it going for them because the Almighty God has planned the journey ahead of time just designed for us. He has gone before and goes with us! Whispering "Do NOT fear. Be not discourage!" If only we would listen. Duet 31:8
How do you tell a non-believer of the hope inside? I find it most difficult to encourage a non-believer, because I base everything on the the Word. Maybe again, it just about living out my faith with the God-Given JOY He gives...
I can understand not wanting to tell anyone about the cancer coming back. I know I would feel very defeated. I hope that I would pick myself up and realize that it isn't about losing to cancer. It isn't even about beating it. Rather it is about leaning on the Almighty Arms. It is about Him being my Tour Guide and letting go of all my control. {ok, here it goes...} To for once just enjoy the adventure He for me. I am big on learning and with every journey there are lessons to learn tucked in every corner. Now if I could just remember all of this when I am lying flat on my back wondering what just ran me over!
One thing for sure is that even if she doesn't know that I know, I can pray to the One Who knows all things. Praying trumps cards and well wishes... it even trumps my feeling helpless in figuring out how to encourage her.... it is human nature to reach out... and for now praying is all I can do...
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
NOT ALONE even in death!
Last week Mom was telling me about a phone call with her sister. The sister was bring up the past and making Mom feel bad for not being there when Grandma died. Grandma L did way back in the early 90's and today is the 2010. My Aunt has been like this all of her life while Mom has been the brunt of her older sister's verbiage.
After the conversation with Mom, I was thinking about it and the story of King David and the lost of his son with Bathsheba that I read two weeks earlier came to mind. Do you remember what he did? When his baby son was struck ill, King David pleaded with God, would not eat, spent nights lying on the ground. However, on the seventh day the son died, David got up and cleaned up and WORSHIPED THE LORD and then ate food. The servants could not understand this. They thought the death would send David over the edge. Get this: David said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought , 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let my child life.' but now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."(II Sam 12:23) Read the whole account in II Sam 11-12:23 & Ps 51.
I found King David's words very comforting to me as I was manning the phone when Grandma was ready to go. I could have made the rushed call telling my parents to get home fast. But in my young adult mind, it takes two hours to get to Grandma from home and my parents were away on a weekend vacation they rarely take. Grandma hadn't been herself for a while. She just was quiet and stared into space. I highly doubted that they would have gotten back in time to see her pass. So this many years later, it was good to read this and share this Mom. We couldn't keep Grandma here nor did we want to. This earth is not our homeland (Hebrews 11:13-16) and why would we want to keep her from going in the Arms of Jesus to her inheritance? Plus, in due time we will be going to her.
I know that some feel the strong need to be there in the final breaths while others do not what to carry this visual in their minds when all they want to remember are the good memories, the life not the end! Some people are blessed to have people surround them in their death while others die alone. Then I had the thought that when you are a believer that you are already walking with the Lord and you are not alone even in death. What a BLESSED thought!
After the conversation with Mom, I was thinking about it and the story of King David and the lost of his son with Bathsheba that I read two weeks earlier came to mind. Do you remember what he did? When his baby son was struck ill, King David pleaded with God, would not eat, spent nights lying on the ground. However, on the seventh day the son died, David got up and cleaned up and WORSHIPED THE LORD and then ate food. The servants could not understand this. They thought the death would send David over the edge. Get this: David said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought , 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let my child life.' but now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."(II Sam 12:23) Read the whole account in II Sam 11-12:23 & Ps 51.
I found King David's words very comforting to me as I was manning the phone when Grandma was ready to go. I could have made the rushed call telling my parents to get home fast. But in my young adult mind, it takes two hours to get to Grandma from home and my parents were away on a weekend vacation they rarely take. Grandma hadn't been herself for a while. She just was quiet and stared into space. I highly doubted that they would have gotten back in time to see her pass. So this many years later, it was good to read this and share this Mom. We couldn't keep Grandma here nor did we want to. This earth is not our homeland (Hebrews 11:13-16) and why would we want to keep her from going in the Arms of Jesus to her inheritance? Plus, in due time we will be going to her.
I know that some feel the strong need to be there in the final breaths while others do not what to carry this visual in their minds when all they want to remember are the good memories, the life not the end! Some people are blessed to have people surround them in their death while others die alone. Then I had the thought that when you are a believer that you are already walking with the Lord and you are not alone even in death. What a BLESSED thought!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
floating in my toy boat ...
I've been in a real funky place. I know who I am and I am ok with with where I am even though it is not the place of my dreams I'm not really sad even though it is ever so close. I'm not angry but frustration is ever near. It is hard to describe because I am for the most part happy.
I just thought of the best picture to describe this muck. Oh yeah, I am still using dial-up because of the cost of DSL and all the other high priced options. However, the speed is sooooooo slow! I have all these tabs open which of course doesn't help but I wait and wait for pages to open up so when one opens I read while I wait for others. I search a lot for my craft and I want to blog and then sites act up... so on and so on.... I don't work with my favorite picture sites because the time it takes is unreal! Now try searching for DSL and it laughable.
This is how I feel in my real life. I have this passionate creative side that is being pulled and slowed down my day job and by feelings of not having enough time to create and take care of my home. My mind thinks and daydreams at work of things to create and make or write about but when I get home the tick of the clock is loud and fast. I know I am doing much more with my time than I did before I learned to crochet but it doesn't smooth over this need for my creative side to shine.
I know it just isn't about my passion but about just little old me. I have these emotions that come from inside. I know this is normal because I am a woman but this isn't that emotion that comes in cycles. This emotion seems to have settle in now that the 40's are here. I'm just NOT having it! However, I know if I power through it than I will be having major issues. So I will not bark up that tree! I would rather get into a toy boat and just float down this patch of river with ease and style. I shall take this as a new adventure!
Last week I was really having a time of the blues. I took Matthew 12:29-30 to prayer. I sent Jesus Christ to answer the front door when the evil one's harsh and persistent knocking was too much for me. I stayed hidden away from view reading the passages of God's great care and design for me. Psalms 139 is a great place to start. I then pulled the covers up over my head and fell asleep instead of crying! Now that was a God-Victory!!!
I just thought of the best picture to describe this muck. Oh yeah, I am still using dial-up because of the cost of DSL and all the other high priced options. However, the speed is sooooooo slow! I have all these tabs open which of course doesn't help but I wait and wait for pages to open up so when one opens I read while I wait for others. I search a lot for my craft and I want to blog and then sites act up... so on and so on.... I don't work with my favorite picture sites because the time it takes is unreal! Now try searching for DSL and it laughable.
This is how I feel in my real life. I have this passionate creative side that is being pulled and slowed down my day job and by feelings of not having enough time to create and take care of my home. My mind thinks and daydreams at work of things to create and make or write about but when I get home the tick of the clock is loud and fast. I know I am doing much more with my time than I did before I learned to crochet but it doesn't smooth over this need for my creative side to shine.
I know it just isn't about my passion but about just little old me. I have these emotions that come from inside. I know this is normal because I am a woman but this isn't that emotion that comes in cycles. This emotion seems to have settle in now that the 40's are here. I'm just NOT having it! However, I know if I power through it than I will be having major issues. So I will not bark up that tree! I would rather get into a toy boat and just float down this patch of river with ease and style. I shall take this as a new adventure!
Last week I was really having a time of the blues. I took Matthew 12:29-30 to prayer. I sent Jesus Christ to answer the front door when the evil one's harsh and persistent knocking was too much for me. I stayed hidden away from view reading the passages of God's great care and design for me. Psalms 139 is a great place to start. I then pulled the covers up over my head and fell asleep instead of crying! Now that was a God-Victory!!!
Monday, April 12, 2010
flower looms ...
I didn’t think I could do it!!! I was fighting the urge to keep instead of the original plan to give away. I took it this simple desire to God…. I wanted to the right thing…
I went to the local thrift shop and I scouted out the craft area looking for flower looms for the girl at work. I have some modern day flower looms of my own and have dabbled in them and really want to do more on these looms. I have some patterns for flower looms that I showed crafty girl at work and she fell in love with the idea of making them as hair clips and even for hemp wrist bands that she dabbles in. She also loves old things and the modern flower looms can be a bit high in price. So finding flowers looms at the thrift shop would be just perfect. I didn’t think I would be so fortunate to find them but I would look anyways. What do I see before my sparking eyes did appear? Not just one but two different sizes of round flower looms. One is a double loom which gives you the option of three different sizes of flowers. Then to top it off with a cherry was the double square flower loom! She is leaning for the circle loom but one must have a square one too! The price is the kicker and the reason I had a funny urge to keep these flower looms for myself instead of the original plan to give them to her. The circle flowers looms were .70 cents. The square one with other tidbits came to .75 cents. These cheap prices are unheard of! Oh dear!
I told God about my feelings and asked for help to do the right thing. I have my own flower looms. I do not need more but the pennies I paid made the find so much richer for me. Well, what would I do?
I already had a gift of painted glass for her with some odds-and-ins she needed for her craft habit. I wasn’t going to add the flower looms in that gift until I scouted out what she found in her own search over the weekend. Well, when she came down to express her thanks for the glass, she brought up the flower looms and I found she hadn’t found anything so enter in me actually showing her what I found. She was excited and when I heard that little notion of her giving them back, I said oh, that is for you, a gift!
I did it!!!! …. I gave her the flower looms!!!! It feels good to give and that notion of keeping them will pass. Now will I keep looking for flower looms in thrift shops and be disappointed….. or maybe I can still be thrilled by it again…. But nothing happens twice the same way….
I am very happy though because she is too.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
the Last Song ... part two
Well, the movie was NOT as good as the movie. I thought Nicholas Sparks (author) wrote the book/movie together or something but the story line in the movie failed to keep it straight.
The book had stronger and deeper emotions between the father and the daughter which made it pull hard your heartstrings. There was a ton of discord over the piano and the movie never got close to the anger pent up in the daughter. The divorce between the parents was exposed at the end which showed how the father covered for her mother taking all the grief when it was not his fault. Then there is the the friendship between the father and the paster that never made the movie. The Bible reading never made it either.
... I could go on and on...
What frustrates me as a writer-want-a-be and very much a visual learner is why can't movies be more like the books especially with good authors? Movies have a way of touching me that books fail to because I have a hard time imagining yet in a bizarre way, I actually visualize my story or my poem before I can put it to words. It has to go together. To be a good author I would think they are being 'movie directors' with their stories to make a good book. I was not happy about this movie because the book was so much better.
Mom didn't read the book and thought is was good but when she heard me grumble she said she is going to have to read the book....
bummer....
The book had stronger and deeper emotions between the father and the daughter which made it pull hard your heartstrings. There was a ton of discord over the piano and the movie never got close to the anger pent up in the daughter. The divorce between the parents was exposed at the end which showed how the father covered for her mother taking all the grief when it was not his fault. Then there is the the friendship between the father and the paster that never made the movie. The Bible reading never made it either.
... I could go on and on...
What frustrates me as a writer-want-a-be and very much a visual learner is why can't movies be more like the books especially with good authors? Movies have a way of touching me that books fail to because I have a hard time imagining yet in a bizarre way, I actually visualize my story or my poem before I can put it to words. It has to go together. To be a good author I would think they are being 'movie directors' with their stories to make a good book. I was not happy about this movie because the book was so much better.
Mom didn't read the book and thought is was good but when she heard me grumble she said she is going to have to read the book....
bummer....
Saturday, April 03, 2010
the Last Song ...
I read Nicholas Sparks because he rips out your heart every time but in "The Last Song" he more than rips out your heart. I swear this book made me cry more than all his other books combined. Supposedly, he wrote this book from the movie or at the same time, so I am expecting the movie to follow the book pretty closely. I can't wait to see the baby turtles and the stain glass window!!!!!
For the young girl this is a story about a summer love. For the grown woman it is a story of a girl growing up and her father's love and admiration for her. I believe that a young girl will have to read it again as she journeys into womanhood. It holds a treasure that will take on a different reflection depending on where you are at in your own journey. I am a keeper. I am a sensitive. I treasure moments in my heart. This book challenges you to double check your relationships and not to take any one of them for grant.
A father wants his kids to come down south to his house for the summer. Enters a grumpy girl of 18 who hasn't talked to her father for 3 years and her kid brother who is soooo funny and a bit wise. Dad teaches his son how to make a stained glass window for the church and dad stops playing the piano just to make his daughter happy. But the girl spends a lot of time away. If you know Nicholas Sparks, you pick up on the dark looming on the horizon. Note: Mr. Sparks writes about real life. This will not be wrapped up neatly in a bow and a box. He does leave you with possibles of love continuing... {smiles}
Threaded though out is the father's search of the Presence of God. Nicholas Sparks only touches on faith as a character trait but never fleshes faith out in the fullest. With every book I try to decide what he is up to and sadly, I don't think he fully knows the Salvation and vibrant life in Jesus Christ. This book he was sooooo close and I physically ached for him to get it right. I do appreciate greatly that the father's choice of reading was the Bible. The father notices that his pastor friend always comes back from walking along the beach with a peaceful face like he was in the Presence of God. The father wants this and searches for it and finally realizes it is in every moment.
I feel very strongly that we miss out on so much because we are continually searching for the next big thing in our lives that we miss out on the enjoyment of the moment. We rush and rush and fail to stop and take it in. It is more than just saying thank you but rather it is stopping and celebrating what God has done for you at the moment.
I love my Dad and yet I know there is more I can do with my relationship with him. I already know this and yet this book was poking me in the chest with raised eyebrows and tapping feet..... ok, ok!!!!
Well, talk about father movies out there! You have'Remember Me' and 'The Last Song' that really make you think about fathers and how to be better in your relationships. You can loose them at anytime. Life doesn't let you keep them forever present. Don't go through life on the surface. Breath deep and take it all in width and depth. Don't be afraid of being hurt. Scars are proof of triumph!!!!!!!
For the young girl this is a story about a summer love. For the grown woman it is a story of a girl growing up and her father's love and admiration for her. I believe that a young girl will have to read it again as she journeys into womanhood. It holds a treasure that will take on a different reflection depending on where you are at in your own journey. I am a keeper. I am a sensitive. I treasure moments in my heart. This book challenges you to double check your relationships and not to take any one of them for grant.
A father wants his kids to come down south to his house for the summer. Enters a grumpy girl of 18 who hasn't talked to her father for 3 years and her kid brother who is soooo funny and a bit wise. Dad teaches his son how to make a stained glass window for the church and dad stops playing the piano just to make his daughter happy. But the girl spends a lot of time away. If you know Nicholas Sparks, you pick up on the dark looming on the horizon. Note: Mr. Sparks writes about real life. This will not be wrapped up neatly in a bow and a box. He does leave you with possibles of love continuing... {smiles}
Threaded though out is the father's search of the Presence of God. Nicholas Sparks only touches on faith as a character trait but never fleshes faith out in the fullest. With every book I try to decide what he is up to and sadly, I don't think he fully knows the Salvation and vibrant life in Jesus Christ. This book he was sooooo close and I physically ached for him to get it right. I do appreciate greatly that the father's choice of reading was the Bible. The father notices that his pastor friend always comes back from walking along the beach with a peaceful face like he was in the Presence of God. The father wants this and searches for it and finally realizes it is in every moment.
I feel very strongly that we miss out on so much because we are continually searching for the next big thing in our lives that we miss out on the enjoyment of the moment. We rush and rush and fail to stop and take it in. It is more than just saying thank you but rather it is stopping and celebrating what God has done for you at the moment.
I love my Dad and yet I know there is more I can do with my relationship with him. I already know this and yet this book was poking me in the chest with raised eyebrows and tapping feet..... ok, ok!!!!
Well, talk about father movies out there! You have'Remember Me' and 'The Last Song' that really make you think about fathers and how to be better in your relationships. You can loose them at anytime. Life doesn't let you keep them forever present. Don't go through life on the surface. Breath deep and take it all in width and depth. Don't be afraid of being hurt. Scars are proof of triumph!!!!!!!
Monday, March 29, 2010
twilight ...
The niece has read the Twilight series and I asked some questions but they could have been better questions. The questions are for me to understand the power these books have over girls and to see the thought process of my niece. An aunt has the ability to be a Watchman over the kids in a different way than parents. {I am still learning!}
I remember back to my college English professor and a discussion we had over literature and how to deal with our Christian beliefs and values in a secular world. I do believe I am going to have to break down and read the Twilight series and forget the notion that ‘what you read is what you are’. (It feels like going grocery shopping and having people make their assumptions by what you buy.) Argh!
The author was having trouble sleeping and had young. From a dream came this vivid scene, where Edward reveals to Bella his true nature. It was so powerful that she had to finish the story. She was obsessed and would be up all hours writing. It was an escape for her.
I can’t help but notice the draw it has on the girls especially. Just from the first movie, I could feel the draw. Even if there is nothing dark and evil, it is a good way to talk to my niece about girl boy relationships.
Maybe it is nothing but when the niece said that she often thinks about the story and feels like she is Bella, I believe I need to see if I can dig into my niece’s world a bit to make sure she doesn’t lose sight of the Sure Foundation. :::Note to self::: Must do it in a real cool aunt kind of way!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Remember Me ..
I am going to have to rate this movie a very high 10 even though there is sick violence, sex, bad words, and a very dirty apartment and bathroom. This movie is a very mature movie. Sadly, it is the immature that need this wake up call.
I am a very sensitive person and all my life I have had to deal with not having friends when I was a little girl and then as a teen and an adult, having friends up and leave. This movie dealt very strongly with how we treat people, what we have to offer to others, and then when loss occurs, what happens and what we should do to counter that loss.
The review I had heard about this movie was that it has reference to September 11th and that it was just over the top for the message it was conveying to the point that it was offensive. (wish I could remember the exact words used) This review wasn't adding up to the previews but I was a bit concerned. Well, it wasn't offensive. It was unexpected but being super sensitive about relationships and the loss, the use of 911 was very appropriate. However, I still don't think the message will get through to some if not most.
The movie was very respectful about the 911 scene. You did not see it but you know just what happened. That needs to be commended. Yes, this is a bit dark but in the end the father finally turns around and the son is happy. The lesson is learned and changes are happening.
My mom stayed awake through it because she was in rapt attention. I think her favorite part about the movie was the relationship between the brother and his sister. They are about 6 years apart (reflective of my mom and her brother). Why wouldn't this brother be protective and endearing towards his younger sister after having lost an older brother about 6 years older than him? He had a role model. This young man is a sensitive sort and he is trying to make sense of his loss and acts out because his family especially his father just doesn't seem to get it.
I could go on and on ... I am a thinker and an English Major to boot. I totally dig the deep stuff and I could go round and round pulling juicy gems out and looking at them against the lamp.
I feel strongly that believers will be judged on the relationships kept, discarded, lost, and ignored. I know I have some relationships in my past that I am ashamed of my actions or inaction..... I feel helpless sometimes. I hold on so tightly when I have a real good one .... while at other times I just let them fade ....
{Above his photo is the quote 'Scars are proof of triumph. Let the wounded Jesus Christ bless and heal your wounds.' Now tucked in the lower part of the frame is the movie ticket stub ... Remember me.... does he think of me? Scars still are tender and always will be ...
"Fingers don't fade from the people we touch."
~ Remember Me
-----
Wow! I am really charged by this movie. It feels good to make the decision to not let the bosses bad mood effect me. Life is way to short!
You could watch this movie and see no hope but as a believer I know a Sure Foundation. I know the Way, the Truth, and the Light. It is time to spread it. Hear this hymn on the radio and thought it perfect...
Turn your eyes on Jesus
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!
Refrain
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!
Refrain
His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!
Refrain
I am a very sensitive person and all my life I have had to deal with not having friends when I was a little girl and then as a teen and an adult, having friends up and leave. This movie dealt very strongly with how we treat people, what we have to offer to others, and then when loss occurs, what happens and what we should do to counter that loss.
The review I had heard about this movie was that it has reference to September 11th and that it was just over the top for the message it was conveying to the point that it was offensive. (wish I could remember the exact words used) This review wasn't adding up to the previews but I was a bit concerned. Well, it wasn't offensive. It was unexpected but being super sensitive about relationships and the loss, the use of 911 was very appropriate. However, I still don't think the message will get through to some if not most.
The movie was very respectful about the 911 scene. You did not see it but you know just what happened. That needs to be commended. Yes, this is a bit dark but in the end the father finally turns around and the son is happy. The lesson is learned and changes are happening.
My mom stayed awake through it because she was in rapt attention. I think her favorite part about the movie was the relationship between the brother and his sister. They are about 6 years apart (reflective of my mom and her brother). Why wouldn't this brother be protective and endearing towards his younger sister after having lost an older brother about 6 years older than him? He had a role model. This young man is a sensitive sort and he is trying to make sense of his loss and acts out because his family especially his father just doesn't seem to get it.
I could go on and on ... I am a thinker and an English Major to boot. I totally dig the deep stuff and I could go round and round pulling juicy gems out and looking at them against the lamp.
I feel strongly that believers will be judged on the relationships kept, discarded, lost, and ignored. I know I have some relationships in my past that I am ashamed of my actions or inaction..... I feel helpless sometimes. I hold on so tightly when I have a real good one .... while at other times I just let them fade ....
{Above his photo is the quote 'Scars are proof of triumph. Let the wounded Jesus Christ bless and heal your wounds.' Now tucked in the lower part of the frame is the movie ticket stub ... Remember me.... does he think of me? Scars still are tender and always will be ...
~ Remember Me
-----
Wow! I am really charged by this movie. It feels good to make the decision to not let the bosses bad mood effect me. Life is way to short!
You could watch this movie and see no hope but as a believer I know a Sure Foundation. I know the Way, the Truth, and the Light. It is time to spread it. Hear this hymn on the radio and thought it perfect...
Turn your eyes on Jesus
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!
Refrain
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!
Refrain
His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!
Refrain
Monday, March 22, 2010
left my suitcase in Brizzy...
I learned today that ‘to leave your suitcase
Today blogs help me to do some virtual travel and my suitcase over there gets bigger and bigger! Funny how Brizzy has become my town in my own crazy way. Forget the
{sighs & smiles}
Monday, March 15, 2010
giving up why ...
I have been ignored and deserted. “The lot is casted into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.” (prov 16:33) Knowing WHY he left will NOT heal up the wounds I have been carrying because I have left it up to a human. Only the wounded Jesus Christ will bless and heal up all my wounds. ‘Scars are the proof of triumph.’ (Pastor Lutzer) Time to give up knowing why.
Friday, March 12, 2010
give me more beauty!!!
I confess I have a fetish for anything beautiful. I treasure beautiful words and beautiful pictures the most. I am getting real bad about this!
I can't stand the co-workers continual storytelling. Her storytelling is usually about something bad. I can't stand old grumpy people either where everything is bad. I can't stand the continual news drainage on all day and night tv. (my ears had to deal with a grumpy couple and news tv for four hours while waiting for my jeep) I just want to pluck my brains and eardrums out through the nose with a tweezer! I tried to read God's Word but there was sooooo much noise (I can't stand unnecessary noise! never have. never will!) and the wait was soooo long, that it was verrrrrry hard. I even tried to come up with thank You's but that was impossible. It didn't help that I was getting a headache.
It was good to fill my eyes on beautiful pictures in the magazines at the stores. I love the visual feast. The afternoon of shopping gave way for thanking God for some good things for the day.
I have a problem with the negatives. I used to be in that place and don't want to go back. Sometimes it can be a real fight. Now that I am most HA free and have a handle on God's JOY, why waste my time on the negatives? That isn't me anymore. It isn't a habit I will return to but it is more like a food allergy. I know what makes me sick so I avoid it.
I can't stand the co-workers continual storytelling. Her storytelling is usually about something bad. I can't stand old grumpy people either where everything is bad. I can't stand the continual news drainage on all day and night tv. (my ears had to deal with a grumpy couple and news tv for four hours while waiting for my jeep) I just want to pluck my brains and eardrums out through the nose with a tweezer! I tried to read God's Word but there was sooooo much noise (I can't stand unnecessary noise! never have. never will!) and the wait was soooo long, that it was verrrrrry hard. I even tried to come up with thank You's but that was impossible. It didn't help that I was getting a headache.
It was good to fill my eyes on beautiful pictures in the magazines at the stores. I love the visual feast. The afternoon of shopping gave way for thanking God for some good things for the day.
I have a problem with the negatives. I used to be in that place and don't want to go back. Sometimes it can be a real fight. Now that I am most HA free and have a handle on God's JOY, why waste my time on the negatives? That isn't me anymore. It isn't a habit I will return to but it is more like a food allergy. I know what makes me sick so I avoid it.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
love yourself by reading the Word ...
A request came for a painted suggestion box plus an invitation to a Bible study. This invitation came at the right time and I went. I don't ever think I will find a church in today's climate. Maybe unconventional is more my style. I am shy but I just did this without thinking so as to not over think! When I walked in I felt like I was the odd person out like always but I am going to stick this one out. I want this. I need an avenue outward.
The topic was about 'Loving You'. As I looked around and took in the message, I wondered if the fellow woman where coming up empty. Their baskets are full - the have husbands and kids but maybe they are coming drained of all they are. Here I am with my empty basket - no hubs, no kids. All my energy and focus has been spent on me. It could look selfish but I have been making myself toe the line. I am a seeker, a keeper, and a learner. I may be a slow learner but none the less, I am always moving even if it is tiny steps. Woman are suppose to have a lot of words and I suppose I do but it is more inwards. Hmmm, if you were a mouse in my house you would say I was talking to myself which I do but I am doing a lot of vocal talking to God. (Blogging helps use up my words!) The short of it is that I don't think I have a problem of loving myself. Now I am not confident of my looks or myself at times. My relationship with my hair is a love hate one. So where did I end up loving myself?
I wasn't loving myself for a very long time. In the teen years I was trying to have a cheerleader's personality because everyone seemed to think shy is bad. (Wish I could tell them a think or two now!) In the 20's I was trying to be a lovable girl that some man would want. I was studying up on having a good marriage, on how to be a good wife etc. In my 30's God began to show me all about JoY and I gave up on self help books. (They are a sin.) Self help is really thumbing your nose at God and saying you can do it yourself. My 30's had a lot of growing pains but here is where I began to seek ways of putting God's Word in my life by putting special verses on 3x5's so I could mediate on them. Then I was reading a chapter of Proverbs according to the number of the day. And last May I began to read the Bible chronologically through.
'Loving You' isn't about loving myself. It is about loving God. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to love God madly and deeply but now that I have, I am excited and ready to keep this passion on fire and hot. I desire to love Him more and more. It has every thing to do with reading His Word. I can't get enough. Interesting enough the by product is loving myself. I am not perfect and I have a long way to go. I have bad moments and bad days which I fight back by digging into the Word like a soldier digs a trench for protection.
The message at the Bible study made me realize where I am in my life. I have come a ways. I have a long ways to go too. Even though I don't have hubs or ankle biters to mold me, God has cultivated me. I take great comfort in that! Taking my eyes off the message and looking around at the other girls, I am looking forward to new relationships and new encouragement adventures that God has in store ....
The topic was about 'Loving You'. As I looked around and took in the message, I wondered if the fellow woman where coming up empty. Their baskets are full - the have husbands and kids but maybe they are coming drained of all they are. Here I am with my empty basket - no hubs, no kids. All my energy and focus has been spent on me. It could look selfish but I have been making myself toe the line. I am a seeker, a keeper, and a learner. I may be a slow learner but none the less, I am always moving even if it is tiny steps. Woman are suppose to have a lot of words and I suppose I do but it is more inwards. Hmmm, if you were a mouse in my house you would say I was talking to myself which I do but I am doing a lot of vocal talking to God. (Blogging helps use up my words!) The short of it is that I don't think I have a problem of loving myself. Now I am not confident of my looks or myself at times. My relationship with my hair is a love hate one. So where did I end up loving myself?
I wasn't loving myself for a very long time. In the teen years I was trying to have a cheerleader's personality because everyone seemed to think shy is bad. (Wish I could tell them a think or two now!) In the 20's I was trying to be a lovable girl that some man would want. I was studying up on having a good marriage, on how to be a good wife etc. In my 30's God began to show me all about JoY and I gave up on self help books. (They are a sin.) Self help is really thumbing your nose at God and saying you can do it yourself. My 30's had a lot of growing pains but here is where I began to seek ways of putting God's Word in my life by putting special verses on 3x5's so I could mediate on them. Then I was reading a chapter of Proverbs according to the number of the day. And last May I began to read the Bible chronologically through.
'Loving You' isn't about loving myself. It is about loving God. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to love God madly and deeply but now that I have, I am excited and ready to keep this passion on fire and hot. I desire to love Him more and more. It has every thing to do with reading His Word. I can't get enough. Interesting enough the by product is loving myself. I am not perfect and I have a long way to go. I have bad moments and bad days which I fight back by digging into the Word like a soldier digs a trench for protection.
The message at the Bible study made me realize where I am in my life. I have come a ways. I have a long ways to go too. Even though I don't have hubs or ankle biters to mold me, God has cultivated me. I take great comfort in that! Taking my eyes off the message and looking around at the other girls, I am looking forward to new relationships and new encouragement adventures that God has in store ....
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