September the 4th was a perfect fall day like the ones you find in early October. The sky was a beautiful cornflower blue with fluffy white clouds that hung low enough that you felt you could actually touch them if you jumped really high. The fields of corn was already turning that dry harvest yellow way too soon from the super hot dry summer. The sun was bright. There was a slight breeze. We were traveling from home to the my college town for a funeral of a woman just eight years older than me. She belongs in my childhood memory. I remember her and her sisters and the farm house they lived in and their black and white bull dogs, Moses and Sarah. It is a good memory. I just learned of her dominion two weeks prior - her husband, her kids. I knew her race was completed and she was in the Arms of Jesus. Her wasting way had turned into a renewed beauty in total reflection of her Creator. Yet the tears were on the edges of this day. My heart was going out to the family.
I feel that a believer's funeral should be a celebration. That is what they are doing on the other side of the river! However our joy is laced with a bit of sorrow. It was a the church's gym to handle the size. The local football team showed up in their football jerseys and black dress pants to support her youngest son who is a senior at the local high school. The back wall was covered with colorful homemade cards made from her students. The kids spoke about their dear mother and about the things they would miss. There were other choice speakers who colored in her life and gave you snap shots of her journey. I began to see her as someone who didn't want the limelight and also knew how to make others feel comfortable. I saw that our lives could have been parallel but I found my life pretty lacking. I'm not the teacher I should have been. I'm not married like I would have wanted. I have no hubby or kids so my life doesn't revolve around anyone but myself. I know I should not have even compared my life to hers but I have an earth ending here and will have to be accountable to my life. I came away a bit crushed.
With my afternoon I went off to my favorite haunt the local thrift shop. I found two books that were on my want list and I was excited because it was so unexpected. Then I went to a home store to look for a string of pearls plant. I had checked back in the spring and I really didn't think I would find it. After looking and looking all over the succulent selection, I found a very tiny plant of peas. So I scooped it up with her sister string of bananas. However, string of pearls really had no root system and the dirt was bad dirt because it would get this white mold or film on the top when you watered. Well, it died and I got my money back. The string of bananas are doing great!!!! At the end of the day, I felt God was saying 'hey, you are still loved. You want to do and be better. Go for it but I love you."
Wow. My Heavenly Father knows just what I need and I didn't even ask. I was just crushed and He was there to heal. Now I can look at my life and see what I need to do without comparing. I have a story and yes, it needs some revision. I can get crack'en
It has been a while since I have blogged and I really wanted to get this out before I ventured elsewhere. I didn't want to over look His simple presence. It might seem silly that books and plants would speak but how often do we go about our business without listening ....
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Saturday, September 04, 2010
green peas & green bananas ...
Remember me sharing my frustration that my philodendron given my grandparents now gone being stolen from where it rested in front of my door for about 10 years now? This plant is a plant that schooled me on what it needed and when. It drupes when it needs water. It allowed me to cut it and even get starts from the cuttings. I have the baby at work but I wanted a plant at home. Instead of using a cutting from the baby, I got one at the supermarket. Some reason the leaves are turning yellow and I have NOT over watered. In fact I probably have under watered. There isn't much plant to begin with and I am down to 2 yellowing leaves and one that probably will turn yellow on me tomorrow. I watered it and put it closer to the sun. I just might end up with a naked plant!!!!
So what do I do today? I went over to Lowe's to see if they had "string of pearls". I looked earlier in the season and was disappointed. Today I was looking and looking. A store employee asked is he could help and he was quiet like he was thinking and I misread him. I went on to describe the plant. He was kind and new what I was talking about. He did go back to the greenhouse to see if he had one back there. I continued to look at all the different succulents that they did have. Guess what? I happened to spy a "string of pearls" sitting right up front! It was the only one and very few 'peas' but no matter! I want. I got! The man came back stating they had no "string of pearls" but they had a lot of the 'string of bananas". I asked him if that was what the other plants were called. Yup. He continued to stand there as I continued to look..... then he moseyed on off. I was unsure of of his presence after I paid and took my two plants to my jeep, I hoped that I didn't offend his intelligence when I was describing what I was looking for. My heart felt like skipping in a little jig but I controlled myself as I didn't want to dump the dirt. Ok, I will be truthful, I didn't want to embarrass myself. Thinking back now, I should pulled on my dancing shoes anyway!
I remember in my childhood that my Mom had a "string of pearls" plant. It looks like peas and I loved it. Funny, how growing up brings out the nostalgia! So I brought home a bit of old and a bit of new. I made new homes for them. The bananas had a lot of roots and is 'stringing' over the side of the pot. The peas really had no roots and seem to just sit together on the top of the soil. I am worried they won't grow and thrive in my home. The peas are verrrrrry green and the bananas are a lesser green. Sooooo maybe these sisters are less alike than like.
I am being adventurous with my green thumb skills. Philodendron, ivy, bamboo, string of pearls, and string of bananas fill my houseplant family to the brim ..... oh, I do have two plants in a pot out on my doorstep that I don't know the names of but they are looking beautiful after loosing leaves during the winter. I highly doubt my that I have skills with plants. They are more like teaching me what they like or dislike. Now all I have to do is listen!!!!
So what do I do today? I went over to Lowe's to see if they had "string of pearls". I looked earlier in the season and was disappointed. Today I was looking and looking. A store employee asked is he could help and he was quiet like he was thinking and I misread him. I went on to describe the plant. He was kind and new what I was talking about. He did go back to the greenhouse to see if he had one back there. I continued to look at all the different succulents that they did have. Guess what? I happened to spy a "string of pearls" sitting right up front! It was the only one and very few 'peas' but no matter! I want. I got! The man came back stating they had no "string of pearls" but they had a lot of the 'string of bananas". I asked him if that was what the other plants were called. Yup. He continued to stand there as I continued to look..... then he moseyed on off. I was unsure of of his presence after I paid and took my two plants to my jeep, I hoped that I didn't offend his intelligence when I was describing what I was looking for. My heart felt like skipping in a little jig but I controlled myself as I didn't want to dump the dirt. Ok, I will be truthful, I didn't want to embarrass myself. Thinking back now, I should pulled on my dancing shoes anyway!
I remember in my childhood that my Mom had a "string of pearls" plant. It looks like peas and I loved it. Funny, how growing up brings out the nostalgia! So I brought home a bit of old and a bit of new. I made new homes for them. The bananas had a lot of roots and is 'stringing' over the side of the pot. The peas really had no roots and seem to just sit together on the top of the soil. I am worried they won't grow and thrive in my home. The peas are verrrrrry green and the bananas are a lesser green. Sooooo maybe these sisters are less alike than like.
I am being adventurous with my green thumb skills. Philodendron, ivy, bamboo, string of pearls, and string of bananas fill my houseplant family to the brim ..... oh, I do have two plants in a pot out on my doorstep that I don't know the names of but they are looking beautiful after loosing leaves during the winter. I highly doubt my that I have skills with plants. They are more like teaching me what they like or dislike. Now all I have to do is listen!!!!
Thursday, September 02, 2010
My Savior 1st of All ...
Psalm 17:15
As for me,
I will behold Thy Face in Righteousness:
I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with Thy Likeness.
My Savior First of All
When my lifework is ended, and I cross the swelling tide,
When the bright and glorious morning I shall see;
I shall know my Redeemer when I reach the other side,
And His smile will be the first to welcome me.
Refrain:
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
And redeemed by His side I shall stand,
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
By the print of the nails in His hand.
Oh, the soul-thrilling rapture when I view His blessed face,
And the luster of His kindly beaming eye;
How my full heart will praise Him for the mercy, love and grace,
That prepare for me a mansion in the sky.
Oh, the dear ones in glory, how they beckon me to come,
And our parting at the river I recall;
To the sweet vales of Eden they will sing my welcome home;
But I long to meet my Savior first of all.
Through the gates to the city in a robe of spotless white,
He will lead me where no tears will ever fall;
In the glad song of ages I shall mingle with delight;
But I long to meet my Savior first of all.
~ Francis J Crosby 1894
As for me,
I will behold Thy Face in Righteousness:
I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with Thy Likeness.
My Savior First of All
When my lifework is ended, and I cross the swelling tide,
When the bright and glorious morning I shall see;
I shall know my Redeemer when I reach the other side,
And His smile will be the first to welcome me.
Refrain:
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
And redeemed by His side I shall stand,
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
By the print of the nails in His hand.
Oh, the soul-thrilling rapture when I view His blessed face,
And the luster of His kindly beaming eye;
How my full heart will praise Him for the mercy, love and grace,
That prepare for me a mansion in the sky.
Oh, the dear ones in glory, how they beckon me to come,
And our parting at the river I recall;
To the sweet vales of Eden they will sing my welcome home;
But I long to meet my Savior first of all.
Through the gates to the city in a robe of spotless white,
He will lead me where no tears will ever fall;
In the glad song of ages I shall mingle with delight;
But I long to meet my Savior first of all.
~ Francis J Crosby 1894
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
pain for Eternal Glory...
Cathy has her Day of Rejoicing starting at 11PM last night. She finished her race. Now her faith has become sight as she beholds her Lord, Master, Creator, King, & fellow sufferer. She can touch His Scars. Her eyes will reflect back into His the acknowledgment of mystifying pain and the transforming it can do. She will know full well that death has no victory and neither does cancer!
We who are left behind must hold to our faith and faint not. We have a race to run.
"... we know that the One who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead
will also raise us with Jesus & present us with you in His Presence.
All this is for your benefit,
so that the Grace that is reaching more & more people
may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light & momentary troubles
are achieving for us an Eternal Glory
that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is Eternal. "
~ II Cor 4: 13-18
We who are left behind must hold to our faith and faint not. We have a race to run.
"... we know that the One who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead
will also raise us with Jesus & present us with you in His Presence.
All this is for your benefit,
so that the Grace that is reaching more & more people
may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light & momentary troubles
are achieving for us an Eternal Glory
that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is Eternal. "
~ II Cor 4: 13-18
Saturday, August 28, 2010
for God so loved you ...
Dear Niece,
Guess what my dear? I have begun to read your Twilight books with the last one to go. Oh, there is a lot to chatter about!!
I get it. There is an intrigue. Something that grabs you & holds you. It has got to be the love Bella intensely feels. It is young & dangerous. It is old & wise. It is protective & fierce. It is also very illusive in human form.
I have been on the search of love. Sure, there is no ring on the finger or signatures on a contract but I have found love. It is God-Love. It is Joy. It is peace. It is comfort. It is dangerous. It is wise. It is protective. It is fierce. It is transcendent. It allows you to sing over the storms. It is hearing God singing songs of deliverance over you. It is a mysterious adventure. You must hang on!
Holding the Almighty's Hand allows your heart to overflow with God-Love. This love floats around your family & friends like a cool spring breeze fragrant with new floral scent. This love radiates from your eyes & your smile that strangers & acquaintances are surprisingly happy to catch. This love allows you to love the man of your dreams even when your prince charming is a bit froggy!
I have a book for you! The author has saturated her writings from God's Love Letter, the Bible. "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J Roberts is very intimate & very real. For God so loved you! Grab this & let if overflow your heart.
always,
keeper
Before you freak out about me reading the Twilight books, if I had my way I would not. When your children or the children you love read these books, I think you must. Who better than me? I am an English Teacher at heart and I love getting deep with books. I also get deep with God so I can take this on only through Him.
I am very concerned about her reading these books. There are some things that I am totally shocked that an author of teenage books would put in there when we are trying to teach our teens what is socially correct or dangerous. That is one negative and the other which is no surprise is how the author makes monsters normal and ok. In fact these monsters are really demons, don't you think?
I want to know what she is thinking but I don't want to turn her off. I want to ask innocent questions and really get her to think. I am praying about this. I hope to but she is always busy in sports and rarely comes to family get-togethers.... {heavy sigh}
Guess what my dear? I have begun to read your Twilight books with the last one to go. Oh, there is a lot to chatter about!!
I get it. There is an intrigue. Something that grabs you & holds you. It has got to be the love Bella intensely feels. It is young & dangerous. It is old & wise. It is protective & fierce. It is also very illusive in human form.
I have been on the search of love. Sure, there is no ring on the finger or signatures on a contract but I have found love. It is God-Love. It is Joy. It is peace. It is comfort. It is dangerous. It is wise. It is protective. It is fierce. It is transcendent. It allows you to sing over the storms. It is hearing God singing songs of deliverance over you. It is a mysterious adventure. You must hang on!
Holding the Almighty's Hand allows your heart to overflow with God-Love. This love floats around your family & friends like a cool spring breeze fragrant with new floral scent. This love radiates from your eyes & your smile that strangers & acquaintances are surprisingly happy to catch. This love allows you to love the man of your dreams even when your prince charming is a bit froggy!
I have a book for you! The author has saturated her writings from God's Love Letter, the Bible. "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J Roberts is very intimate & very real. For God so loved you! Grab this & let if overflow your heart.
always,
keeper
Before you freak out about me reading the Twilight books, if I had my way I would not. When your children or the children you love read these books, I think you must. Who better than me? I am an English Teacher at heart and I love getting deep with books. I also get deep with God so I can take this on only through Him.
I am very concerned about her reading these books. There are some things that I am totally shocked that an author of teenage books would put in there when we are trying to teach our teens what is socially correct or dangerous. That is one negative and the other which is no surprise is how the author makes monsters normal and ok. In fact these monsters are really demons, don't you think?
I want to know what she is thinking but I don't want to turn her off. I want to ask innocent questions and really get her to think. I am praying about this. I hope to but she is always busy in sports and rarely comes to family get-togethers.... {heavy sigh}
Saturday, August 21, 2010
a day of rejoicing is coming ...
I walked into the hospital room knowing that she was nearing this life's finish line. The cancer was too beastly and too fast. She did open her eyes and spoke in very soft tones. She asked for water and I offer it to her but in the middle of her very slow first sip, her eyes closed like she dozed off. She is in a lot of pain and is on some heavy pain meds. I did hold her hand before the nurse came in to change the clear bags hanging beside her. Her husband encouraged me to talk to her but I found myself falling silent.
The woman in this bed is about 8 years older than me. She is in my childhood memories. I remember her and her sisters baby-sitting me and my brother. They had two cute black and white bull dogs called Moses and Sarah. They lived on a farm and I loved their farm house. I haven't seen her sense. My mom works at the hospital on a floor where a lot of cancer patients go when they are having a major battle with cancer and need hospital care. I happened to call mom about a birthday matter coming up and she said our family friend was back in the hospital and it was not good. I told mom I would come up.
I am sensitive and I try to put my feet in other's shoes. I knew her kids where teenagers and I can help but wonder how these kids were going to cope in the days and years ahead. This beautiful woman has a beautiful husband who talked to me so I began to ask him questions learning more about his family and even finding common bonds like going to the same college. The youngest son was playing football that night. The middle son is marrying and coming home from Chicago this month. The oldest has graduated from college and as a teaching job. She hasn't found love in college and there isn't even a boyfriend. I told her father that it was ok and he said yeah, that you might as well wait until the ONE comes and you just know. I nodded my head in agreement. .... I could now walk out of this room carrying them in my prayers and go to the mats do some major wrestling with the Lord for them.
Earlier in the day I sneaked some time to search for so balm and just happened to read Psalms 8 where it says, where it says 'what is man that you are mindful of him? and where God has made man a little lower than angels and that He gave man dominion over the works of His Hands.' This might be weird that it brought me comfort but I couldn't help but think of all the things God has given us in this life that is like a flower that flourish and passes away. This life is soooooo fragile and the gifts are soooo wonderful. Her gifts? Finding love, marrying a neat guy, having kids .... she probably has a lot more on her list...
A question sent me to wondering ... A mother with early adult children is dying. I am sure she has lots she wants to tell them. Being a daughter myself I cannot dare to go to a time where I don't have my mother to rely on.... I did have a comforting thought... The Word of God has helped me greatly and I am sure for this mother as well. She can rest assured that His Word can guide her children especially because she loved it, they will want to get closer to her by reading It and finding answers needed in today's questions and tests. I love this thought and can let out a comforted sigh...
I told mom that her hubby really loved her and you want to know how I could tell in a short amount of time? He said that finding the love of his life was the best gift Grace College have him. He also asked to hold her hand and said thank you even though it looked like she was sleeping. He has been trying hard to get her home so they can have a bedside wedding of their son today because they are unsure of how long she will be able to hold on and the wedding is schedule at the end of the month. Besides she just wants to go home to die. I don't know how this man is holding on. He did not show any tears but there was a softness around his edges and I am sure that he is putting on his strong face.
I cannot say that she lost her battle with cancer rather she is just finishing this earthy race. She is laying down this earthly mantel to put on her heavenly one called Eternal Life. She is trading in the pain and limitations to walk upright into her Heavenly Father Arms. Her own mother and father are waiting in the wings ready to welcome her home. She will truly understand that death has lost its sting where her loved ones just don't quite understand because it is so raw and painful now. All we can do is 'walk by faith not by sight.' A chorus came to my mind as I was walking and doing some heavy thinking. It brought Joy ... even in this bittersweet time. '... when we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory!'
♩♬♪♫
Sing the wondrous love of Jesus,
Sing His mercy and His grace.
In the mansions bright and blessèd
He’ll prepare for us a place.
Refrain
When we all get to Heaven,
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
When we all see Jesus,
We’ll sing and shout the victory!
While we walk the pilgrim pathway,
Clouds will overspread the sky;
But when traveling days are over,
Not a shadow, not a sigh.
Refrain
Let us then be true and faithful,
Trusting, serving every day;
Just one glimpse of Him in glory
Will the toils of life repay.
Refrain
Onward to the prize before us!
Soon His beauty we’ll behold;
Soon the pearly gates will open;
We shall tread the streets of gold.
Refrain♪
Words: Eliza E. Hewitt
The woman in this bed is about 8 years older than me. She is in my childhood memories. I remember her and her sisters baby-sitting me and my brother. They had two cute black and white bull dogs called Moses and Sarah. They lived on a farm and I loved their farm house. I haven't seen her sense. My mom works at the hospital on a floor where a lot of cancer patients go when they are having a major battle with cancer and need hospital care. I happened to call mom about a birthday matter coming up and she said our family friend was back in the hospital and it was not good. I told mom I would come up.
I am sensitive and I try to put my feet in other's shoes. I knew her kids where teenagers and I can help but wonder how these kids were going to cope in the days and years ahead. This beautiful woman has a beautiful husband who talked to me so I began to ask him questions learning more about his family and even finding common bonds like going to the same college. The youngest son was playing football that night. The middle son is marrying and coming home from Chicago this month. The oldest has graduated from college and as a teaching job. She hasn't found love in college and there isn't even a boyfriend. I told her father that it was ok and he said yeah, that you might as well wait until the ONE comes and you just know. I nodded my head in agreement. .... I could now walk out of this room carrying them in my prayers and go to the mats do some major wrestling with the Lord for them.
Earlier in the day I sneaked some time to search for so balm and just happened to read Psalms 8 where it says, where it says 'what is man that you are mindful of him? and where God has made man a little lower than angels and that He gave man dominion over the works of His Hands.' This might be weird that it brought me comfort but I couldn't help but think of all the things God has given us in this life that is like a flower that flourish and passes away. This life is soooooo fragile and the gifts are soooo wonderful. Her gifts? Finding love, marrying a neat guy, having kids .... she probably has a lot more on her list...
A question sent me to wondering ... A mother with early adult children is dying. I am sure she has lots she wants to tell them. Being a daughter myself I cannot dare to go to a time where I don't have my mother to rely on.... I did have a comforting thought... The Word of God has helped me greatly and I am sure for this mother as well. She can rest assured that His Word can guide her children especially because she loved it, they will want to get closer to her by reading It and finding answers needed in today's questions and tests. I love this thought and can let out a comforted sigh...
I told mom that her hubby really loved her and you want to know how I could tell in a short amount of time? He said that finding the love of his life was the best gift Grace College have him. He also asked to hold her hand and said thank you even though it looked like she was sleeping. He has been trying hard to get her home so they can have a bedside wedding of their son today because they are unsure of how long she will be able to hold on and the wedding is schedule at the end of the month. Besides she just wants to go home to die. I don't know how this man is holding on. He did not show any tears but there was a softness around his edges and I am sure that he is putting on his strong face.
I cannot say that she lost her battle with cancer rather she is just finishing this earthy race. She is laying down this earthly mantel to put on her heavenly one called Eternal Life. She is trading in the pain and limitations to walk upright into her Heavenly Father Arms. Her own mother and father are waiting in the wings ready to welcome her home. She will truly understand that death has lost its sting where her loved ones just don't quite understand because it is so raw and painful now. All we can do is 'walk by faith not by sight.' A chorus came to my mind as I was walking and doing some heavy thinking. It brought Joy ... even in this bittersweet time. '... when we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory!'
♩♬♪♫
Sing the wondrous love of Jesus,
Sing His mercy and His grace.
In the mansions bright and blessèd
He’ll prepare for us a place.
Refrain
When we all get to Heaven,
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
When we all see Jesus,
We’ll sing and shout the victory!
While we walk the pilgrim pathway,
Clouds will overspread the sky;
But when traveling days are over,
Not a shadow, not a sigh.
Refrain
Let us then be true and faithful,
Trusting, serving every day;
Just one glimpse of Him in glory
Will the toils of life repay.
Refrain
Onward to the prize before us!
Soon His beauty we’ll behold;
Soon the pearly gates will open;
We shall tread the streets of gold.
Refrain♪
Words: Eliza E. Hewitt
Sunday, August 15, 2010
a new church ...
If you have been reading here, you might have noticed that I have been quite unhappy with the church the family has been going too. I am happy to say that we have been checking into a local Baptist church for about a month now and last Sunday my parents said good bye to the Sunday School class my Dad has been teaching at the old place.
You can't believe how much happier we all are ... all because God's Word is preached from the pulpit!
I personally have not been satisfied with the old place for a very long time. I felt that the pastor was a false prophet and only used God's Word for his own message. I mistrust this man when he came and felt I had more knowledge of the Word than he did. It didn't help that he was about 2 years older than me. He has mistreated my little brother and my father and you just don't do that to my boys. I know my Dad really cared about the pastor like Paul for Timothy. I don't know how much damage this man did to my Dad but I think I already see the burden has vanished from my Dad's shoulders. I just feel that the time has come to brush off the sand from your sandals and get on without looking back.
I have fallen hard for nothing but the Word of God. I have got to keep from wasting any time on stuff that is not a Sure Foundation. I am shouting for Joy that I am back in a conservative Baptist church. I will continue to feast on BBNRadio.org for great food but now I can get fed on Sundays too!
Matthew 13:45-46
“Again, the kingdom of heaven
is like a merchant looking for fine pearls.
When he found one of great value,
he went away and sold everything he had
and bought it."
You can't believe how much happier we all are ... all because God's Word is preached from the pulpit!
I personally have not been satisfied with the old place for a very long time. I felt that the pastor was a false prophet and only used God's Word for his own message. I mistrust this man when he came and felt I had more knowledge of the Word than he did. It didn't help that he was about 2 years older than me. He has mistreated my little brother and my father and you just don't do that to my boys. I know my Dad really cared about the pastor like Paul for Timothy. I don't know how much damage this man did to my Dad but I think I already see the burden has vanished from my Dad's shoulders. I just feel that the time has come to brush off the sand from your sandals and get on without looking back.
I have fallen hard for nothing but the Word of God. I have got to keep from wasting any time on stuff that is not a Sure Foundation. I am shouting for Joy that I am back in a conservative Baptist church. I will continue to feast on BBNRadio.org for great food but now I can get fed on Sundays too!
Matthew 13:45-46
“Again, the kingdom of heaven
is like a merchant looking for fine pearls.
When he found one of great value,
he went away and sold everything he had
and bought it."
Saturday, August 14, 2010
good fig exiled in Babylon ...
I have a story from the Old Testament that I must tell you as it has given me great hope for my own plight. This story begins with a dream. A dream given to Jeremiah by the Almighty to give hope, encouragement, and an assignment to the exiles in Babylon. Two baskets of figs placed in front of the temple of the Lord where shown to Jeremiah. One basket had verrrrrry gooooood figs, like those ripen early; the other basket had very bad figs, so bad they could not be eaten. Then God asked Jeremiah what he saw. It was God wanted the vision spoken aloud. Then the Lord explained the dream.
"Like these good figs, I regard as the good the exiles from Judah, whom I sent away from this place to the land of the Babylonians. My Eye will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the Lord. They will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with all their heart.
But like the bad figs, which are so bad they cannot be eaten so will I deal with Zedekiah king of Judah, his officials and the survivors from Jerusalem, whether they remain in this land or live in Egypt. I will make them abhorrent and an offense to all the kingdoms of the earth, a reproach and a byword, an object of ridicule and cursing, wherever I banish them. I will send the sword, famine, and plague against them until they are destroyed from the land I gave them and their fathers."
Then God had Jeremiah write out His letter for the surviving elders, priests, and prophets among the exiles in Babylon to read to them. Before the letter is read there is a listing of who the exiles where. What came to my eyes? The craftsmen and artisans. Now these are my kind of people. I then knew this story was for me. I must get back to what was in the letter...
To My exiles in Babylon,
Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.
Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to you in My Name. I have not sent them.
When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill My Gracious Promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places I have banished you and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.
always your Heavenly Father
Wow! All this can be read for yourself in Jeremiah 24:1-10 and Jeremiah 29:1-23. I had to reread several times because I felt this dream was just for me. I am a craftsman and artisan. I find great joy spending time painting, looming, crocheting, cross stitching, ink stamping and paper punching. I find even more fulfillment if I can use what I do with my hands to encourage another. But I am EXILED, exiled in Babylon. I am working in cost accounting for a boss who has fits of huffing. I did not want this job but this job is of God. I am not left abandoned. I have instructions to carry out. I am to build, settle down (not complain), plant, eat from the produce, increase not decrease (increase the joy not the grief), seek peace and prosperity of the company so that I too will prosper, and close my ears to anyone who says things that are not of God (other dissenters and ill seekers). In due time my Heavenly Father will bring me back home where I live out my passion in fullness.
What is interesting is that this story is hidden behind the great verse of Jeremiah 29:11. You just can't have the great verse without the story. It makes the verse deeper and richer and makes the story real because you know it in your life. I vow never to forget this story. I wrote it down here and am trying my hand at a poem. I am going to tell this story to anyone and everyone who will hear....
"Like these good figs, I regard as the good the exiles from Judah, whom I sent away from this place to the land of the Babylonians. My Eye will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the Lord. They will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with all their heart.
But like the bad figs, which are so bad they cannot be eaten so will I deal with Zedekiah king of Judah, his officials and the survivors from Jerusalem, whether they remain in this land or live in Egypt. I will make them abhorrent and an offense to all the kingdoms of the earth, a reproach and a byword, an object of ridicule and cursing, wherever I banish them. I will send the sword, famine, and plague against them until they are destroyed from the land I gave them and their fathers."
Then God had Jeremiah write out His letter for the surviving elders, priests, and prophets among the exiles in Babylon to read to them. Before the letter is read there is a listing of who the exiles where. What came to my eyes? The craftsmen and artisans. Now these are my kind of people. I then knew this story was for me. I must get back to what was in the letter...
To My exiles in Babylon,
Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.
Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to you in My Name. I have not sent them.
When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill My Gracious Promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places I have banished you and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.
always your Heavenly Father
Wow! All this can be read for yourself in Jeremiah 24:1-10 and Jeremiah 29:1-23. I had to reread several times because I felt this dream was just for me. I am a craftsman and artisan. I find great joy spending time painting, looming, crocheting, cross stitching, ink stamping and paper punching. I find even more fulfillment if I can use what I do with my hands to encourage another. But I am EXILED, exiled in Babylon. I am working in cost accounting for a boss who has fits of huffing. I did not want this job but this job is of God. I am not left abandoned. I have instructions to carry out. I am to build, settle down (not complain), plant, eat from the produce, increase not decrease (increase the joy not the grief), seek peace and prosperity of the company so that I too will prosper, and close my ears to anyone who says things that are not of God (other dissenters and ill seekers). In due time my Heavenly Father will bring me back home where I live out my passion in fullness.
What is interesting is that this story is hidden behind the great verse of Jeremiah 29:11. You just can't have the great verse without the story. It makes the verse deeper and richer and makes the story real because you know it in your life. I vow never to forget this story. I wrote it down here and am trying my hand at a poem. I am going to tell this story to anyone and everyone who will hear....
Friday, August 13, 2010
a little one on the way ...
...rrrrrring.....rrrrrrrring.....rrrrrrring....
me: "Hello?"
3yo niece: "Mommy has a baby in her tummy."
Mom comes on after the little niece got tired of talking. She told me that the little niece came in the door telling her that Mommy has a baby in her tummy and Mom says "is she serious?" Niece's mom had a huge grin on her face. My mom has been waiting for this to happen for a while now. Mom is hoping for a boy to round out the little family. I don't know .... wondering if it will be a girl ... but then again a boy would carry on our name.
Mom said that before my little bro and his wife dropped off the niece that they went to their first doctor's appointment and that the niece got to hear the heart beat!! She said the baby is due March the 16th. I informed Mom that they have known for a month and half. She was a bit surprised that the little bro could keep a secret so long.
Mom called me on my google voice and did I even think to record it so that I could share my niece here for you? Nope. I shall she her on Sunday so I just might have to record her talking about the baby. I have a few ideas to keep this memento.... check back!
me: "Hello?"
3yo niece: "Mommy has a baby in her tummy."
Mom comes on after the little niece got tired of talking. She told me that the little niece came in the door telling her that Mommy has a baby in her tummy and Mom says "is she serious?" Niece's mom had a huge grin on her face. My mom has been waiting for this to happen for a while now. Mom is hoping for a boy to round out the little family. I don't know .... wondering if it will be a girl ... but then again a boy would carry on our name.
Mom said that before my little bro and his wife dropped off the niece that they went to their first doctor's appointment and that the niece got to hear the heart beat!! She said the baby is due March the 16th. I informed Mom that they have known for a month and half. She was a bit surprised that the little bro could keep a secret so long.
Mom called me on my google voice and did I even think to record it so that I could share my niece here for you? Nope. I shall she her on Sunday so I just might have to record her talking about the baby. I have a few ideas to keep this memento.... check back!
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Charlie St. Cloud
This movie rates up as a 10 for me! The sky scapes and water scenes took my breath away. Then the topper was the story. This movie will complete my personal trilogy. See, I am a keeper, a keeper of things that are important to me. I hold on and probably to long. I never have wanted to be one who didn't say everything to someone I loved. No regrets! I think this need to hold on comes from a childhood where I never had that storybook friend like in 'Anne of Green Gables'.
'It's a Wonderful Life' begins my trilogy. It gave me value when I felt like a very small worthless college freshman. 'Remember Me' comes next with its gritty and violent portrayal of how we mess up after the lost of losing someone and forget to love and live. 'Charlie St. Cloud' is a beautiful story rounding out my personal trilogy with Charlie finding out that he has a reason to live his life without his foot in death. There is a twist so I would love to see it again for that second time and hey, how about a third time for just the viewing pleasure!
I started to read the book but saw the movie before I finished. I waited to write a review until the last pages where read. The book started out with beautiful flowing language. Even though there where God references throughout the book, God's Name was taken in vain so much so that I lost respect of the book. The movie did stray from the book but it condensed it right down to its very essence like taking one bite of just right richness of dark chocolate with a good balance of sweetness that it you were satisfied. The movie rocked and the book flopped!
In the book Charlie is 28 and Tess is somewhere around 25. The story begins with Charlie at 15 (yes, driving illegally) and Sam, his little brother is 3 years younger. In the movie Charlie is 17 at graduation and after the accident that summer you see Charlie five years later. The author didn't picture Zac Efron doing the movie partly because he thought the character as older. The author did get to meet Zac and changed his mind. I think Zac is a great choice. This is my first time seeing Zac in a movie. He did a superb job with pulling off the manly gentleness of this character which is a huge draw for me.
A silent but loud character that really took the movie was the sky and sea scapes. The sunsets where golden and breathless and the ocean bi-polar tendencies of smooth and wild just took my 'eyes' away! I am sooo visual that it made me so satisfied and hungry to see it again and again!
author thoughts:
I have this theory that a movie should follow the book. I totally flipped out over The Last Song (part 2 of 'The Last Song'). The book was sooooo good and deep and the movie messed it up. However, this time I favored the movie. I just don't get it. I am an author-wannabe and I see writing as birthing. A good author picks just the right words, the perfect scenes, and quality characters. So why would you be ok with a director taking liberties with your baby? I also see my story like a director with a movie. So why would a screen writer have to change it for the movie? I suppose I will battle this thought a lifetime!
fyi:
This is a good chick flick. Not sure what the guys would make of it.
There is sex before marriage. Yes, you can still design a movie without it even this one. Especially if you are talented.
'It's a Wonderful Life' begins my trilogy. It gave me value when I felt like a very small worthless college freshman. 'Remember Me' comes next with its gritty and violent portrayal of how we mess up after the lost of losing someone and forget to love and live. 'Charlie St. Cloud' is a beautiful story rounding out my personal trilogy with Charlie finding out that he has a reason to live his life without his foot in death. There is a twist so I would love to see it again for that second time and hey, how about a third time for just the viewing pleasure!
I started to read the book but saw the movie before I finished. I waited to write a review until the last pages where read. The book started out with beautiful flowing language. Even though there where God references throughout the book, God's Name was taken in vain so much so that I lost respect of the book. The movie did stray from the book but it condensed it right down to its very essence like taking one bite of just right richness of dark chocolate with a good balance of sweetness that it you were satisfied. The movie rocked and the book flopped!
In the book Charlie is 28 and Tess is somewhere around 25. The story begins with Charlie at 15 (yes, driving illegally) and Sam, his little brother is 3 years younger. In the movie Charlie is 17 at graduation and after the accident that summer you see Charlie five years later. The author didn't picture Zac Efron doing the movie partly because he thought the character as older. The author did get to meet Zac and changed his mind. I think Zac is a great choice. This is my first time seeing Zac in a movie. He did a superb job with pulling off the manly gentleness of this character which is a huge draw for me.
A silent but loud character that really took the movie was the sky and sea scapes. The sunsets where golden and breathless and the ocean bi-polar tendencies of smooth and wild just took my 'eyes' away! I am sooo visual that it made me so satisfied and hungry to see it again and again!
author thoughts:
I have this theory that a movie should follow the book. I totally flipped out over The Last Song (part 2 of 'The Last Song'). The book was sooooo good and deep and the movie messed it up. However, this time I favored the movie. I just don't get it. I am an author-wannabe and I see writing as birthing. A good author picks just the right words, the perfect scenes, and quality characters. So why would you be ok with a director taking liberties with your baby? I also see my story like a director with a movie. So why would a screen writer have to change it for the movie? I suppose I will battle this thought a lifetime!
fyi:
This is a good chick flick. Not sure what the guys would make of it.
There is sex before marriage. Yes, you can still design a movie without it even this one. Especially if you are talented.
Friday, August 06, 2010
the glut of birthday parties ...
Ok, be patient with me. It is a personal musing and wonderment about birthday parties...
I had an alone childhood where books and my bike kept me company. I have a picture of a birthday party of mine where I sat with a neighbor boy smiling with my birthday cake made by my grandmother. I think that is the only birthday party that I had where someone outside my family was there. There was no grand hoopla at my 16th even though I stupidly wished for some grand jester. As an adult I do not expect huge tidings of birthday wishes granted from friends or even the outside world. Sometimes it is even hard to get a small gesture from the bros but mama knows she must celebrate with me or I am devastated. So I do know the power of a birthday and the value it gives you when someone goes out of their way to grant birthday wishes.
I am noticing that a great deal put into birthday parties for the young these days. The internet is laced with oodles of themed birthday parties. Gone is the simple gathering of cake and ice cream and in is the grandiose themes. I am visual and I must admit that I visit daily a wedding and party blog to enjoy the many different ideas that help me be creative in my own life. It is fun and mystical. I feel that party feeds our need for adventure and celebration and creating but I think birthday parties in particular should not be sooo grand. I could be all wet, too.
I went to my nieces 3rd birthday and her parents invited over all her friends (aka kids). There where lots of presents and when the presents were opened it was like watching vultures waiting to feed on the overkill. Yes, I made my gifts and even dolled up the bag. I suppose that fed into my disgust of where the focus was. These kids weren't die hard friends. The little niece probably won't remember them as life picks up. There was so many gifts and the misbehaving vultures ... it was all toooo much. But all the young parents these days are doing these big parties and argh, I am glad that I am not a parent.
I love parties. However, for my kids I would want a more personal more family oriented birthday party. If I was to throw a kid party, I would have a summer party where no one kid got a ton of gifts over another. That way I could make sure each kid had fun and my child won't be getting all these 'toys' that they really don't need. Plus, where do you put all these gifts????
I know I am more of an introvert and covet one on one time with those I love. Big parties and tons of people make a wallflower out of me but I love the detail and fun and the hugeness of it. I love planning parties and I love attending but give me a personal birthday party any day! Shouldn't birthday parties be more cozy and personal?
I had an alone childhood where books and my bike kept me company. I have a picture of a birthday party of mine where I sat with a neighbor boy smiling with my birthday cake made by my grandmother. I think that is the only birthday party that I had where someone outside my family was there. There was no grand hoopla at my 16th even though I stupidly wished for some grand jester. As an adult I do not expect huge tidings of birthday wishes granted from friends or even the outside world. Sometimes it is even hard to get a small gesture from the bros but mama knows she must celebrate with me or I am devastated. So I do know the power of a birthday and the value it gives you when someone goes out of their way to grant birthday wishes.
I am noticing that a great deal put into birthday parties for the young these days. The internet is laced with oodles of themed birthday parties. Gone is the simple gathering of cake and ice cream and in is the grandiose themes. I am visual and I must admit that I visit daily a wedding and party blog to enjoy the many different ideas that help me be creative in my own life. It is fun and mystical. I feel that party feeds our need for adventure and celebration and creating but I think birthday parties in particular should not be sooo grand. I could be all wet, too.
I went to my nieces 3rd birthday and her parents invited over all her friends (aka kids). There where lots of presents and when the presents were opened it was like watching vultures waiting to feed on the overkill. Yes, I made my gifts and even dolled up the bag. I suppose that fed into my disgust of where the focus was. These kids weren't die hard friends. The little niece probably won't remember them as life picks up. There was so many gifts and the misbehaving vultures ... it was all toooo much. But all the young parents these days are doing these big parties and argh, I am glad that I am not a parent.
I love parties. However, for my kids I would want a more personal more family oriented birthday party. If I was to throw a kid party, I would have a summer party where no one kid got a ton of gifts over another. That way I could make sure each kid had fun and my child won't be getting all these 'toys' that they really don't need. Plus, where do you put all these gifts????
I know I am more of an introvert and covet one on one time with those I love. Big parties and tons of people make a wallflower out of me but I love the detail and fun and the hugeness of it. I love planning parties and I love attending but give me a personal birthday party any day! Shouldn't birthday parties be more cozy and personal?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
wall paint ...
She loves my painting and makes requests of my work more than any other. My template is glass and dish work and any other non porous material. The paint is an acrylic glass paint that you bake to make it stick. I do venture off road a bit but not a lot because I don't want to invest in all the different forms of acrylic paint, brushes etc. I want to keep it simple.
She has a beautiful daughter full of golden brown ringlets that look all natural. Her cute daughter is turning 3 on August 3rd and for the birthday it is a 'big girl' room which the little one will not be allowed to see until Tuesday. How fun is that?! The walls are yellow on top with white panelling on the bottom. So in the corner the request is for a vine with flowers and also some by the door.
Yes, I was nervous and still nervous. She provided the bright colored wall paint and a huge dose of confidence in me. I had about couple hours in the house alone with Tyler their dog who is darling with his sad eyes and quiet stealth like moves. Up went the green vine and that was scary but I thought that any little smudge could be fixed. Then the leaves took shape. Then I tried my hand at the flowers. Whew, I just could not get the hang of the paint. The edges where rough and not taking the paint! I kept at it and broke the motto of stopping before I made a mess of it. I never used water before to control the paint. There is such a fine line when it comes to water. It helps to apply it smoothly to the wall but too much and it muddies up. Plus, I felt like I was running out of time. The hubs was to come home but I really didn't know when. I work best alone. I was getting hot and flustered.
I am home now and more nervous than before! I hope she loves it. Just don't get to close and you will see all my mistakes. I just need to let it be like my motto of stopping before I make a mess of it!!!! So I suppose it is time to close and get on with painting on white 'dream' letters so I can give them to her tomorrow.... Argh, still nervous!
UPDATE:
She called soon after I posted this entry and she ..... uh ....
loved it! Whew! She always makes me feel so good about my painting. She asked if I would do it again ... I said yes.
Paint has a personality as well as what you are painting. An artist has to artistic talent but also has to know how to marry the paint with the object. So this dabbler is still in the learning process but guess what my favorite thing to do is? LEARN!!!! woohooo!!!
She has a beautiful daughter full of golden brown ringlets that look all natural. Her cute daughter is turning 3 on August 3rd and for the birthday it is a 'big girl' room which the little one will not be allowed to see until Tuesday. How fun is that?! The walls are yellow on top with white panelling on the bottom. So in the corner the request is for a vine with flowers and also some by the door.
Yes, I was nervous and still nervous. She provided the bright colored wall paint and a huge dose of confidence in me. I had about couple hours in the house alone with Tyler their dog who is darling with his sad eyes and quiet stealth like moves. Up went the green vine and that was scary but I thought that any little smudge could be fixed. Then the leaves took shape. Then I tried my hand at the flowers. Whew, I just could not get the hang of the paint. The edges where rough and not taking the paint! I kept at it and broke the motto of stopping before I made a mess of it. I never used water before to control the paint. There is such a fine line when it comes to water. It helps to apply it smoothly to the wall but too much and it muddies up. Plus, I felt like I was running out of time. The hubs was to come home but I really didn't know when. I work best alone. I was getting hot and flustered.
I am home now and more nervous than before! I hope she loves it. Just don't get to close and you will see all my mistakes. I just need to let it be like my motto of stopping before I make a mess of it!!!! So I suppose it is time to close and get on with painting on white 'dream' letters so I can give them to her tomorrow.... Argh, still nervous!
UPDATE:
She called soon after I posted this entry and she ..... uh ....
loved it! Whew! She always makes me feel so good about my painting. She asked if I would do it again ... I said yes.
Paint has a personality as well as what you are painting. An artist has to artistic talent but also has to know how to marry the paint with the object. So this dabbler is still in the learning process but guess what my favorite thing to do is? LEARN!!!! woohooo!!!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
a high vs the everyday ...
At the monthly Bible study I started to attend, I made an observation that bothered me greatly. I got the sense that some feel the need to have an experience with God like having a high. This drives me crazy! I do not want a 'Jesus-high'. I need Him too much in my every day. In fact He promised He would never leave me nor forsake me. I am holding Him to that.
I want Him when I am in tears over a stupid job and when I have to serve with gladness with respectful obedience to a boss who I will never make happy. If I couldn't have Jesus with me when I go to work ... well, it just wouldn't be good. I want Him in the every day moments when my brain is thinking out processes so I can talk to Him and ask questions. He has always been patient and has opened my eyes to things that only He could reveal. He showed me how to crochet because I would kept trying and would get upset and throw it down. I search and He reveals. He knows the Mysteries and will reveal when the time is right. There are a lot of everyday things I involve Him in and I have to credit all of the dot connecting to His quiet directions.
I want Him when I look out into the evening sky and see a rosie golden sky scape as the sun pulls the covers over her head and I whisper in my head the awe of His Master work. Lately His sky has been so vocal with the heat and storms that even when I fear there is much awe in the power and beauty of it all. He has little old me written in His Hands so how can He forget me? How could I ever think of only experiencing Him in some kind of magical high?
I don't want to ever think that I want to escape it all and have some mystical magic high moment with Him. Yes, there are moments when we are to run to the Fortress that is higher than I. Think about it those 'to the Fortress I run' times aren't highs but troubles. Check out Psalms 18. There is no high rather it is God working out the issues that plague me. He is in the trenches with me quivering under His Wing. I am the watcher and my heart stills it frantic beat as I watch His expert Arm defending and protecting His little one. He is right there. Always. This isn't a high but plain old everyday. I like it like that. Isn't God Awesome in His Ways and His Understandings that is greater than little I?
My life isn't made up of all trouble. There are a lot of good times too. I don't think of them as highs because most are simple things yet profound when I think deeper to His under-workings. Especially when I am troubled and dwelling in the muck, I start to pull my vision away to Him by simply telling Him what I am grateful. I love bed covers even in summer heat. I love paper & ink. I love blue and how it makes me feel. I love the bashful bold purple that feels like royalty and still has a simple gracefulness to it. I like the warm sunshine and the cooling rain in the summer. I like the bright snow and the delicate snowflake in the winter. I pick out everyday things and put them in the light and thank my Master for them right there in the moment. Wouldn't you forget all the wonderful things to thank Him for if you waited to steal away to some magical high? Wouldn't you be caught up in the moment and nothing?
I love to have the Bible near. When my life is out of whack, my only true and solid answer comes from His Word. I must make this everyday. It is a conversation and for too long it has been one sided. I want Him to do the talking too. I am tired of my voice piercing the airwaves. I must hear His Voice many times a day. Haven't you ever missed a lover's voice? Interesting that often we claim that God is silent. What a lie! His letter has 66 books filled with His Voice!
NOOOOOO high for me. I want Him everyday in the midst of my simple everyday life. I take Him at His Promise of never leaving me nor forsaking me. I have a big shoes to fill. I love Him right? He is in my everyday right? Am I dwelling in Him every moment of my day???????
I want Him when I am in tears over a stupid job and when I have to serve with gladness with respectful obedience to a boss who I will never make happy. If I couldn't have Jesus with me when I go to work ... well, it just wouldn't be good. I want Him in the every day moments when my brain is thinking out processes so I can talk to Him and ask questions. He has always been patient and has opened my eyes to things that only He could reveal. He showed me how to crochet because I would kept trying and would get upset and throw it down. I search and He reveals. He knows the Mysteries and will reveal when the time is right. There are a lot of everyday things I involve Him in and I have to credit all of the dot connecting to His quiet directions.
I want Him when I look out into the evening sky and see a rosie golden sky scape as the sun pulls the covers over her head and I whisper in my head the awe of His Master work. Lately His sky has been so vocal with the heat and storms that even when I fear there is much awe in the power and beauty of it all. He has little old me written in His Hands so how can He forget me? How could I ever think of only experiencing Him in some kind of magical high?
I don't want to ever think that I want to escape it all and have some mystical magic high moment with Him. Yes, there are moments when we are to run to the Fortress that is higher than I. Think about it those 'to the Fortress I run' times aren't highs but troubles. Check out Psalms 18. There is no high rather it is God working out the issues that plague me. He is in the trenches with me quivering under His Wing. I am the watcher and my heart stills it frantic beat as I watch His expert Arm defending and protecting His little one. He is right there. Always. This isn't a high but plain old everyday. I like it like that. Isn't God Awesome in His Ways and His Understandings that is greater than little I?
My life isn't made up of all trouble. There are a lot of good times too. I don't think of them as highs because most are simple things yet profound when I think deeper to His under-workings. Especially when I am troubled and dwelling in the muck, I start to pull my vision away to Him by simply telling Him what I am grateful. I love bed covers even in summer heat. I love paper & ink. I love blue and how it makes me feel. I love the bashful bold purple that feels like royalty and still has a simple gracefulness to it. I like the warm sunshine and the cooling rain in the summer. I like the bright snow and the delicate snowflake in the winter. I pick out everyday things and put them in the light and thank my Master for them right there in the moment. Wouldn't you forget all the wonderful things to thank Him for if you waited to steal away to some magical high? Wouldn't you be caught up in the moment and nothing?
I love to have the Bible near. When my life is out of whack, my only true and solid answer comes from His Word. I must make this everyday. It is a conversation and for too long it has been one sided. I want Him to do the talking too. I am tired of my voice piercing the airwaves. I must hear His Voice many times a day. Haven't you ever missed a lover's voice? Interesting that often we claim that God is silent. What a lie! His letter has 66 books filled with His Voice!
NOOOOOO high for me. I want Him everyday in the midst of my simple everyday life. I take Him at His Promise of never leaving me nor forsaking me. I have a big shoes to fill. I love Him right? He is in my everyday right? Am I dwelling in Him every moment of my day???????
Saturday, July 24, 2010
a watermelon tale ...
I do not like watermelons as they are a bit too watery and doesn't have the density as their sisters, the musk melons. But having 36 food allergies, I no longer avoid this melon but I do not seek it out. My parents had a watermelon and received another one. For fear of not getting them eaten, I got the half of the old watermelon.
I finally got around to peeking under the tinfoil and used my lonely ice cream scope to take out some for a dessert. The watermelon is sweet but I could tell by the outer part that it wasn't liking the frig too much and I had better find ways to devour. I made watermelon jello last week and found it a bit bitter. I don't think it liked being pair with frozen berries or maybe it was the pineapple. Then I noticed something. I made jelly bean ice cubes to put in my two water bottles for my day with a friend on Monday because the heat index was very high like the typical days this summer. To my horror my water tasted like watermelon perfume. I wasn't happy. Here this huge half watermelon wasn't taking up a lot of space on the bottom of my frig but it was taking up air space in the freezer as well.
Last night I decided that I must get rid of this watermelon once and for all. I took out all the seeds and took it for a spin in the blender. Then I made a second batch of watermelon using grape juice and applesauce. The results were better and not bitter. I like the soft pink red hue it has. I hope this is the last of the watermelon for the year!
I finally got around to peeking under the tinfoil and used my lonely ice cream scope to take out some for a dessert. The watermelon is sweet but I could tell by the outer part that it wasn't liking the frig too much and I had better find ways to devour. I made watermelon jello last week and found it a bit bitter. I don't think it liked being pair with frozen berries or maybe it was the pineapple. Then I noticed something. I made jelly bean ice cubes to put in my two water bottles for my day with a friend on Monday because the heat index was very high like the typical days this summer. To my horror my water tasted like watermelon perfume. I wasn't happy. Here this huge half watermelon wasn't taking up a lot of space on the bottom of my frig but it was taking up air space in the freezer as well.
Last night I decided that I must get rid of this watermelon once and for all. I took out all the seeds and took it for a spin in the blender. Then I made a second batch of watermelon using grape juice and applesauce. The results were better and not bitter. I like the soft pink red hue it has. I hope this is the last of the watermelon for the year!
working for a 'huffer'
To serve with gladness has been taking a lot of trying to stand down & re-coat my back for extra ease of letting things roll off. I just cannot work in a constant state of trembling and huffing. If I wanted to work in such a place than I would be a police girl in a riot.
I had to take this job because it was offer from the same company that let me go from AP when the economy down turned. I didn't want this job but felt that God had something to this. I really want to be creative instead of being a bean counter and mastering excel sheets. I cried out to God last night on my way home and I promised that I would not think about w@(& during MY weekend.
Last week God brought me a rainbow to take the bend out of my back, this week it is a new favorite book that I happened to get on Monday when I took a day off to visit with a friend who is back from Germany. (this day off made me work 40hrs in 4 days to try to keep the boss happy with no luck.) The book is "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts. It is written as God talking to you. I am eating it up!
This is what I am dwelling on today:
Safety in God's Will
My Will is not a place, but a condition. Do not ask Me WHERE or WHEN, but ask Me HOW. You will discover blessing in every place, and any place, if thy spirit is in tune with Me. No place nor time is more hallow than another when ye are truly in love with Me.
I direct every motion in thy life, as the ocean bears a ship. Your will and intelligence may be at the helm, but divine providence and sovereignty are stronger forces. Ye can trust Me, knowing that any pressure that I bring to bear upon thy life is initiated by My Love, and I will not do this except as ye are willing and desire.
Many a ship has sailed from port to port with no interference by Me, because Strong Will has been at the wheel. Multitudes of pleasure cruises go merrily in their ways, untouched by the Power of My Hand.
But ye have put thy life into My Keeping, and because ye are depending on Me for guidance and direction, I shall give it. Move on steadily, and know that the waters that carry thee are the waters of My Love and My Kindness, and I shall keep thee on the right course.
Wow! I have found a new favorite book and author and want to get all of her books. What a blessing to dear broken and weary heart.
I had to take this job because it was offer from the same company that let me go from AP when the economy down turned. I didn't want this job but felt that God had something to this. I really want to be creative instead of being a bean counter and mastering excel sheets. I cried out to God last night on my way home and I promised that I would not think about w@(& during MY weekend.
Last week God brought me a rainbow to take the bend out of my back, this week it is a new favorite book that I happened to get on Monday when I took a day off to visit with a friend who is back from Germany. (this day off made me work 40hrs in 4 days to try to keep the boss happy with no luck.) The book is "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts. It is written as God talking to you. I am eating it up!
This is what I am dwelling on today:
Safety in God's Will
My Will is not a place, but a condition. Do not ask Me WHERE or WHEN, but ask Me HOW. You will discover blessing in every place, and any place, if thy spirit is in tune with Me. No place nor time is more hallow than another when ye are truly in love with Me.
I direct every motion in thy life, as the ocean bears a ship. Your will and intelligence may be at the helm, but divine providence and sovereignty are stronger forces. Ye can trust Me, knowing that any pressure that I bring to bear upon thy life is initiated by My Love, and I will not do this except as ye are willing and desire.
Many a ship has sailed from port to port with no interference by Me, because Strong Will has been at the wheel. Multitudes of pleasure cruises go merrily in their ways, untouched by the Power of My Hand.
But ye have put thy life into My Keeping, and because ye are depending on Me for guidance and direction, I shall give it. Move on steadily, and know that the waters that carry thee are the waters of My Love and My Kindness, and I shall keep thee on the right course.
Wow! I have found a new favorite book and author and want to get all of her books. What a blessing to dear broken and weary heart.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
treasuring up wrath or Joy ...
I love contrasts because it gives depth. Contrasts moves an issue from 2D to 3D. For me the back of my neck bristles with excitement when contrasts present itself. I become spellbound. Well, I have to share my latest find!
It is about treasuring.
Romans 2:5
But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed.
vs.
Matthew 6:19-21
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
The skinny: What your treasure?
stubbornness, unrepentant heart, wrath or love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Just a little something to get into ....
It is about treasuring.
Romans 2:5
But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed.
vs.
Matthew 6:19-21
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
The skinny: What your treasure?
stubbornness, unrepentant heart, wrath or love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Just a little something to get into ....
Friday, July 16, 2010
out of life's storms & into Thy Calm ...
I heard this song play on BBNRadio.org yesterday afternoon and I wanted to reacquaint myself with this old hymn. The right words at the right time kind of moment lets my heart uncurl from the tight ball of anger and brokenness that had taken hold. A breeze was in the air taking me to Jesus ....
Jesus, I come
Out of my bondage, sorrow, and night,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy freedom, gladness, and light,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of my sickness, into Thy health,
Out of my want and into Thy wealth,
Out of my sin and into Thyself,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of my shameful failure and loss,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the glorious gain of Thy cross,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of earth’s sorrows into Thy balm,
Out of life’s storms and into Thy calm,
Out of distress to jubilant psalm,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of unrest and arrogant pride,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy blessèd will to abide,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,
Out of despair into raptures above,
Upward for aye on wings like a dove,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of the fear and dread of the tomb,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the joy and light of Thy throne,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of the depths of ruin untold,
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,
Ever Thy glorious face to behold,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Words: William T. Sleeper, in Gospel Hymns No. 5, 1887.
Music: George C. Stebbins (MI DI, score).
Jesus, I come
Out of my bondage, sorrow, and night,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy freedom, gladness, and light,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of my sickness, into Thy health,
Out of my want and into Thy wealth,
Out of my sin and into Thyself,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of my shameful failure and loss,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the glorious gain of Thy cross,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of earth’s sorrows into Thy balm,
Out of life’s storms and into Thy calm,
Out of distress to jubilant psalm,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of unrest and arrogant pride,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy blessèd will to abide,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,
Out of despair into raptures above,
Upward for aye on wings like a dove,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of the fear and dread of the tomb,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the joy and light of Thy throne,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Out of the depths of ruin untold,
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,
Ever Thy glorious face to behold,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
Words: William T. Sleeper, in Gospel Hymns No. 5, 1887.
Music: George C. Stebbins (MI DI, score).
Thursday, July 15, 2010
rainbow promise ...
I just have been having a hard time liking my work and it has gotten sooooo much worse. When I take a day off, then the next day is a nightmare. I try to do my best and every time I make a mistake, i can feel my will get defiant and stand up with arms cross. It takes me a long time to get my will to stand down.
I can't figure out the headaches. What am I allergic too now? Then I have a pain in my neck high up in my head. Can't figure that out either. So when I mad a grocery run, the raindrops began to fall on the steamy earth. I was hoping they would wait because I wasn't sure if they were going to get violent. Mr. Sun kept shining and wouldn't let the raindrops turn black. I walk out of store with my food and was kissed by wet liquid sunshine. Guess what? There in the cloudy blue sky was a rainbow arcing from one side then getting lost in blue cotton candy clouds but reappearing on the other side. My heart jumped for joy! It was like God straightening out my bent back and shored up my broken heart. I know where to put my focus but sometimes I need a lift...
My Heavenly Father loves me!!!!!! What Joy!!!!
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee;
and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee;
when thou walkest through the fire thou shalt not be burned;
neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
Isaiah 43:2
I can't figure out the headaches. What am I allergic too now? Then I have a pain in my neck high up in my head. Can't figure that out either. So when I mad a grocery run, the raindrops began to fall on the steamy earth. I was hoping they would wait because I wasn't sure if they were going to get violent. Mr. Sun kept shining and wouldn't let the raindrops turn black. I walk out of store with my food and was kissed by wet liquid sunshine. Guess what? There in the cloudy blue sky was a rainbow arcing from one side then getting lost in blue cotton candy clouds but reappearing on the other side. My heart jumped for joy! It was like God straightening out my bent back and shored up my broken heart. I know where to put my focus but sometimes I need a lift...
My Heavenly Father loves me!!!!!! What Joy!!!!
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee;
and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee;
when thou walkest through the fire thou shalt not be burned;
neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
Isaiah 43:2
Friday, July 09, 2010
prayer beeper ...
Because I live alone and because I am a girl who needs to get her talking in even though I am typically a shy quiet person, I find it easy to talk to God especially in my alone moments. However, when I pray for someone, I find it very awkward to tell someone that I prayed for them.
I have to share a story Joni Eareckson Tada had on her program, Joni and Friends. A man had who was paralyzed for a short period of time (can't remember the name of his condition) requested prayer from all of his friends. This man's best friend went a step further and got a pager. He had the friends send a page to the beeper when they prayed for the paralyzed man. It was a huge blessing and great encouragement to hear that beeper go off many times an hour and even in the night. He knew the there were people around the world praying. It was a delightful story for me and got me to thinking .... even Joni challenged the listeners to text the ones they lifted in prayer.
I am still thinking because I don't want to come off pretentious or awkward.... I often wonder at the power of prayer and I don't think I will fully understand until Jesus pulls back the veil. I personally not sure that I have felt prayers of others.... like some say they have.... a big mystery to me....
I should do some clarifying. I have felt my own prayers. It is like a lesson from the one room school days. I am up front reciting (talking back) God's Word that I have hid in my heart. I can see parallels and opposites. I find dots to connect. I come away encouraged - His Words and Promises have that way about them.... No, I am not saying my prayer is more powerful than someone praying for me but rather the act of praying shores up my feeble faith and heartbreak. It is the act of crying out before the King of kings and knowing He bends down and takes me in His Arms and calms my fears ..
Francois Fenelon, a seventeenth-century Roman Catholic Frenchman, said this about prayer:
Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and its pain, to a dear friend. Tell Him your troubles, that He may comfort you; tell Him your joys, that He may sober them; tell Him your longings, that He may purify them; tell Him your dislikes, that He may help you to conquer them; talk to Him of your temptations, that He may shield you from them; show Him the wounds of your heart, that He may heal them; lay bare your indifference to good, your depraved tastes for evil, your instability. Tell Him how self-love makes you unjust to others, how vanity tempts you to be insincere, how pride disguises you to yourself and others.
If you thus pour out all your weaknesses, needs, troubles, there will be no lack of what to say. You will never exhaust the subject. It is continually being renewed. People who have no secrets from each other never want for subject of conversation. They do not weigh their words, for there is nothing to be held back; neither do they seek for something to say. They talk out of the abundance of the heart, without consideration they say just what they think.
Daily Light : EVENING
We made our prayer unto our God, and set a watch against them.
Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation. -- Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. -- Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: whom resist stedfast in the faith.
Why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say? -- Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward.
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
NEH. 4:9. Matt. 26:41. -Co1. 4:2. I Pet. 5:7-9. Luke 6:46. Jas. 1:22. Exo. 14:15. Phi. 4:6,7.
I have to share a story Joni Eareckson Tada had on her program, Joni and Friends. A man had who was paralyzed for a short period of time (can't remember the name of his condition) requested prayer from all of his friends. This man's best friend went a step further and got a pager. He had the friends send a page to the beeper when they prayed for the paralyzed man. It was a huge blessing and great encouragement to hear that beeper go off many times an hour and even in the night. He knew the there were people around the world praying. It was a delightful story for me and got me to thinking .... even Joni challenged the listeners to text the ones they lifted in prayer.
I am still thinking because I don't want to come off pretentious or awkward.... I often wonder at the power of prayer and I don't think I will fully understand until Jesus pulls back the veil. I personally not sure that I have felt prayers of others.... like some say they have.... a big mystery to me....
I should do some clarifying. I have felt my own prayers. It is like a lesson from the one room school days. I am up front reciting (talking back) God's Word that I have hid in my heart. I can see parallels and opposites. I find dots to connect. I come away encouraged - His Words and Promises have that way about them.... No, I am not saying my prayer is more powerful than someone praying for me but rather the act of praying shores up my feeble faith and heartbreak. It is the act of crying out before the King of kings and knowing He bends down and takes me in His Arms and calms my fears ..
Francois Fenelon, a seventeenth-century Roman Catholic Frenchman, said this about prayer:
Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and its pain, to a dear friend. Tell Him your troubles, that He may comfort you; tell Him your joys, that He may sober them; tell Him your longings, that He may purify them; tell Him your dislikes, that He may help you to conquer them; talk to Him of your temptations, that He may shield you from them; show Him the wounds of your heart, that He may heal them; lay bare your indifference to good, your depraved tastes for evil, your instability. Tell Him how self-love makes you unjust to others, how vanity tempts you to be insincere, how pride disguises you to yourself and others.
If you thus pour out all your weaknesses, needs, troubles, there will be no lack of what to say. You will never exhaust the subject. It is continually being renewed. People who have no secrets from each other never want for subject of conversation. They do not weigh their words, for there is nothing to be held back; neither do they seek for something to say. They talk out of the abundance of the heart, without consideration they say just what they think.
Daily Light : EVENING
We made our prayer unto our God, and set a watch against them.
Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation. -- Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving. -- Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: whom resist stedfast in the faith.
Why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say? -- Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward.
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
NEH. 4:9. Matt. 26:41. -Co1. 4:2. I Pet. 5:7-9. Luke 6:46. Jas. 1:22. Exo. 14:15. Phi. 4:6,7.
Monday, July 05, 2010
no self love!!!
Last week I got bombarded with this concept of that there should be no focus on self love in a believer's life. I don't have this notion and it wasn't even on the radar! Then boom. It did take me back to the first Bible study session this year where the speaker did talk about you had to love yourself before you can love another. I didn't get much from this talk because what was coming to me was a review of where I had been sort of like my spiritual life playing out before my eyes. It was like 'wow, you've come along way but you do have more to go because you want to keep falling in love with God.' My journey contained no self love. That wasn't the focus. I just chalked it up that I came a different route.
Then this past week I get all these passages in the Bible where it kicks this notion that you have -to have self love to be able to love others- to the curb! Uh oh! Now what am I going to do? Do I say something to the Bible teacher? I am very defensive when it comes to the Truth. First step was just to come here and hash it out and let my mind chew on it.
Elizabeth Elliott used these two verses:
Ephesians 4: 22-24
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
II Timothy 3:1-7
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.
Pastor Lutzer used this one:
Romans 15:1-3
We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me."
There is just no standing for loving yourself in order to love others. No truth in it. It is time to throw off my old self which I feel that I have. I have done so by getting onto solid ground. I always thought I was on solid ground but when you live duplicitously, things get messed up quick. I began to talk back scripture and got to really seeking God in His Own Words. No more shifting sands. It has to be solid truth. The basic vocation of a believer is to trust and obey. When I do that, I show love to God. The new self becomes more full bloom. Love for others bubbles over from God's Love....
Hmmm, now how do I go about telling the truth about this????
Then this past week I get all these passages in the Bible where it kicks this notion that you have -to have self love to be able to love others- to the curb! Uh oh! Now what am I going to do? Do I say something to the Bible teacher? I am very defensive when it comes to the Truth. First step was just to come here and hash it out and let my mind chew on it.
Elizabeth Elliott used these two verses:
Ephesians 4: 22-24
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
II Timothy 3:1-7
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.
Pastor Lutzer used this one:
Romans 15:1-3
We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me."
There is just no standing for loving yourself in order to love others. No truth in it. It is time to throw off my old self which I feel that I have. I have done so by getting onto solid ground. I always thought I was on solid ground but when you live duplicitously, things get messed up quick. I began to talk back scripture and got to really seeking God in His Own Words. No more shifting sands. It has to be solid truth. The basic vocation of a believer is to trust and obey. When I do that, I show love to God. The new self becomes more full bloom. Love for others bubbles over from God's Love....
Hmmm, now how do I go about telling the truth about this????
Sunday, July 04, 2010
patriotic for the Kingdom ...
I am a bit of a patriotic junkie. I like the flag and the story behind the flag. Every time the National Anthem plays, I am taken back to seeing the ripped and torn flag still there. My favorite decorating color is blue and from my teaching days the red apples combined to a patriotic living room with the flag and stars being the main feature. I love the rich bold colors and I enjoy wearing them too. I love the history and I tear up on the dedication given with sweat and lives.
I have been thinking about my patriotism for my real homeland because I am just passing through this one. Am I patriotic of the Kingdom of God? Is being patriotic for the Kingdom of God shown in my desire to win souls for Christ?
Every time I see my fellow man striving after worldly things that do not satisfy or when they are in the midst of trouble, all I can think about is how are they surviving without the Hand of God guiding them in the sorrows?
{sighs}
I see treasure stored in heaven as people... but being the witness has been a daily lesson that I get so discourage with.... I am to be the salt and light here... I am the raiment left ... saving America (and the world) from the end times ... am I making a difference? Once the salt is gone... woe to the world....
As I add more numbers to my days, the patriotism for America dims (and yes, heightens for Americans to get right with God), my patriotism for Christ and His Kingdom grows. I see that as a right of passage for the believer who is growing in Christ. I smile at that... especially after having a discussion with an Australian believer over patriotism. I had a lot of love for my country and was convicted and wasn't sure how to convert it to love for my homeland, Heaven. It all stems from falling in Love with Christ Jesus and the Word of God.... It comes! It helps too (sadly) that American has fallen away from her roots. Our country isn't under God anymore and I weep for the promise that we have broken on our part.... I have a promise to keep.... I must be the salt worthy to flavor and influence my place here while passing through....
I have been thinking about my patriotism for my real homeland because I am just passing through this one. Am I patriotic of the Kingdom of God? Is being patriotic for the Kingdom of God shown in my desire to win souls for Christ?
Every time I see my fellow man striving after worldly things that do not satisfy or when they are in the midst of trouble, all I can think about is how are they surviving without the Hand of God guiding them in the sorrows?
{sighs}
I see treasure stored in heaven as people... but being the witness has been a daily lesson that I get so discourage with.... I am to be the salt and light here... I am the raiment left ... saving America (and the world) from the end times ... am I making a difference? Once the salt is gone... woe to the world....
As I add more numbers to my days, the patriotism for America dims (and yes, heightens for Americans to get right with God), my patriotism for Christ and His Kingdom grows. I see that as a right of passage for the believer who is growing in Christ. I smile at that... especially after having a discussion with an Australian believer over patriotism. I had a lot of love for my country and was convicted and wasn't sure how to convert it to love for my homeland, Heaven. It all stems from falling in Love with Christ Jesus and the Word of God.... It comes! It helps too (sadly) that American has fallen away from her roots. Our country isn't under God anymore and I weep for the promise that we have broken on our part.... I have a promise to keep.... I must be the salt worthy to flavor and influence my place here while passing through....
Saturday, July 03, 2010
His Presence in triumphs & sorrows ...
'After the Battle of Gettysburg on July 15, 1863, President Lincoln proclaimed a National Day of Thanksgiving, Praise and Prayer: "It is ... right to recognize and confess the presence of the Almighty Father and the power of His hand equally in these triumphs and in these sorrows.... '
How often do we recognize and confess the presence of the Almighty Father in triumphs and in sorrows? This line just made me stop. How often to we stop believing because of sorrows? We just chalk it up to no evidence of God. Isn't it right that our plans weren't acknowledged and we are going to have a bad attitude? Shouldn't we embrace His Plan for us with Joy? Wouldn't life be better than claiming a hissy fit and walk off the field? When will we bend the knee and the will to the Master?
There is something to a grateful heart celebrating God in all the triumphs and all the sorrows. Joy comes even in the pain. One gets it when one lives this simple hard truth...
How often do we recognize and confess the presence of the Almighty Father in triumphs and in sorrows? This line just made me stop. How often to we stop believing because of sorrows? We just chalk it up to no evidence of God. Isn't it right that our plans weren't acknowledged and we are going to have a bad attitude? Shouldn't we embrace His Plan for us with Joy? Wouldn't life be better than claiming a hissy fit and walk off the field? When will we bend the knee and the will to the Master?
There is something to a grateful heart celebrating God in all the triumphs and all the sorrows. Joy comes even in the pain. One gets it when one lives this simple hard truth...
Thursday, July 01, 2010
treasure lost ...
So this guy from Canada is looking for a long lost love of 45 years ago in Melbourne, Australia. They got lost in each other over the matter of 3 hours. He made her promise to write him and she did but the letter got lost for 3 years, but he got it none the less. But he never returned the letter and got married and divorced to another girl ... yadda yadda. Now he has says that he only fell in love once not twice or 1 and a half, just once. Now is the time to fix old regrets.
Normally, I would fell for this sentimental sob story. Not this girl anymore. See I had an encounter that totally changed my life. Probably can't call it love but it was a real strong connection at the very least it was a friendship that had great potential. Well, the bloke off and left. Even though we really had something, I sorta knew that he would leave but it still caught me off guard. I had no regrets. I think we even talked about the passage of time and what it would bring. Well, sorry to say I am not one to wait till 45 years later to look him up. Why would I wait? Crazy notion. Why waste alllllll that time?
I could scream! Doesn't love fight to keep? Think love grows on trees? Think love will come back? Love is fragile like a petals on a rose. Love is rare. Why the games? Why the cloak and dagger? It burns me up.
It has been 5 years now and still counting. I am still here and reachable. I have the box of memories all in my head. I shoved them into the corner but sometimes they come back and torture me. The audios play out his inflections, thoughts, arches, and statements that went high on the end like a question. The voice gets me every time. It is a struggle to get myself back but I do. He has messed it up for every boy that comes after. Do I care? No. But I do.... because now I have the wounded heart and I caught it from him.
I used to side with Love. I had her back. I knew the potential and the power. Now it is a silly old daydream that is nice on a rainy day....
I wish the man well on his quest to locate his lost love but you don't loose what you treasure....
Normally, I would fell for this sentimental sob story. Not this girl anymore. See I had an encounter that totally changed my life. Probably can't call it love but it was a real strong connection at the very least it was a friendship that had great potential. Well, the bloke off and left. Even though we really had something, I sorta knew that he would leave but it still caught me off guard. I had no regrets. I think we even talked about the passage of time and what it would bring. Well, sorry to say I am not one to wait till 45 years later to look him up. Why would I wait? Crazy notion. Why waste alllllll that time?
I could scream! Doesn't love fight to keep? Think love grows on trees? Think love will come back? Love is fragile like a petals on a rose. Love is rare. Why the games? Why the cloak and dagger? It burns me up.
It has been 5 years now and still counting. I am still here and reachable. I have the box of memories all in my head. I shoved them into the corner but sometimes they come back and torture me. The audios play out his inflections, thoughts, arches, and statements that went high on the end like a question. The voice gets me every time. It is a struggle to get myself back but I do. He has messed it up for every boy that comes after. Do I care? No. But I do.... because now I have the wounded heart and I caught it from him.
I used to side with Love. I had her back. I knew the potential and the power. Now it is a silly old daydream that is nice on a rainy day....
I wish the man well on his quest to locate his lost love but you don't loose what you treasure....
Monday, June 28, 2010
the dark side ...
Dear Heavenly Father,
Today I feel a bit black and moody because I tried to speak important things I got brushed off twice. It made me want to react like a child and go silent. But no, I am adult and I know better. However, it is there and makes me dark. It is important and I would like spiritual guidance.....
I love You because You will never leave me nor forsake me. What I am grappling is important to You. You won't ignore me. Foremost You want me to keep my eyes on You and keep in the Your Love Letter. I want to keep to the Truth and I want to engage in conversation with my niece to know where she is at.
Can I do this? Can I make her feel safe to open up to me about the books she has read? Can I ask questions to get her to think? Will I be able to talk, I mean really talk to her? Will it happen????? I do need Your Help. Can I bring Your Truth and Your Wisdom to her without loosing her???? I need Your Words. I will be quiet and wait on You...
I love YOU!!!
always your daughter
Today I feel a bit black and moody because I tried to speak important things I got brushed off twice. It made me want to react like a child and go silent. But no, I am adult and I know better. However, it is there and makes me dark. It is important and I would like spiritual guidance.....
I love You because You will never leave me nor forsake me. What I am grappling is important to You. You won't ignore me. Foremost You want me to keep my eyes on You and keep in the Your Love Letter. I want to keep to the Truth and I want to engage in conversation with my niece to know where she is at.
Can I do this? Can I make her feel safe to open up to me about the books she has read? Can I ask questions to get her to think? Will I be able to talk, I mean really talk to her? Will it happen????? I do need Your Help. Can I bring Your Truth and Your Wisdom to her without loosing her???? I need Your Words. I will be quiet and wait on You...
I love YOU!!!
always your daughter
Saturday, June 26, 2010
weeping for the Ents...
A running nose after a Saturday sun walk in April 09 was the first clue that I just might have another allergy to add to my ever growing list of them. I have been ever on edge this year especially after a headache at Easter. I must have tree allergies so Zyrtex has been a constant companion. How long do trees pollenate? There has been high predictions for tree pollen ever since April. There was a slight down turn this week so I stopped taking the medication.
This has been a really wacky summer. Summer started right after winter, I swear honesty here! I never had a chance to wear my cool spring clothes! And RAIN! It has rained so often here that the grass is emerald green and the river banks are a constant high where we have flash flood warnings every time there is rain forecasted. Then comes the storms. Last Friday night we had a major one! The rain came in pounding the earth so hard that the rain turned into a white haze and my view was just 6 feet out. It was this sick army brown green. The winds wickedly whip around at speeds of 80 mph. It lasted what seemed forever. One good thing about rain is that it does cleanse the air.....
There where trees down where the winds grappled with the weak parts of the tallest and oldest and thickest trees. Mostly it was the little branches everywhere. I guess it was just a prelude to what was to come the following Wednesday...
Rains where predicted to stop by 3PM and they did. The sun came out and I thought I would be spending a night of creating....
8 o'clock comes with darken skies and darken reports of nasty weather coming our way. It was like not again and really? The sky was grey. Yes, grey stormy... maybe though .... The the grey flashed. Here we go. It was not like Friday. It was less and was quick too. But the damage was more. Four tornadoes hit the county and two hit south of my town. It was at F1 levels so the damage was basically huge trees toppled over baring roots. Wild circles in the corn. A barn lifted up and flattened. Nothing like the tornado damage to a neighboring town several years ago in October. It was still hard to go to work seeing such massive trees uprooted. What power! It makes me remember how strong my God is. My eyes welled up with tears....
Came home Thursday night and my nose started to run. The tree pollen count is there but down. So why was my nose just running? I remember someone recently tell me about a woman who was allergic to pine. She didn't know why she was always sickly every December until she released that their live Christmas tree was the causing her physical gloom and doom. So with this 'dot' and connecting it to the buzz of chain saws cutting down trees all over leads me to believe the cause of my runaway nose is the trees again!
{heavy sigh} I hate the smell of hay and fall is my least favorite seasons except the brilliant cornflower blue skies and the golden corn fields because of the hay fever. I don't want to hate spring and summer. Pollen is like dirt but hidden dirt. This causes crazy behavior on my part besides the massive headaches. I become obsessed of the clothes I will wear outside and what clothes I will wear inside and not ever outside. Then there is the problem of my favorite clothes that I just don't wear at all because I don't want the pollen in my house. It is an invisible enemy and ridiculous behavior on my part, I know. Don't roll your eyes ant me and keep your mitts off the phone. Don't call the crazy house or the the straight jacket ... just yet!
I guess what I am saying the long way is that I don't want to hate trees or spring or summer. (Winter has been my favorite season with Spring coming in as a tie position.) Trees are ancient centurions. Always tall, watchful, faithful, lasting, and dependable. There is something serene and thoughtful about trees... Tolkien seemed to feel for trees and I reflect.... I have to romanticize my little issue. I weep for the Ancient Ents.....
This has been a really wacky summer. Summer started right after winter, I swear honesty here! I never had a chance to wear my cool spring clothes! And RAIN! It has rained so often here that the grass is emerald green and the river banks are a constant high where we have flash flood warnings every time there is rain forecasted. Then comes the storms. Last Friday night we had a major one! The rain came in pounding the earth so hard that the rain turned into a white haze and my view was just 6 feet out. It was this sick army brown green. The winds wickedly whip around at speeds of 80 mph. It lasted what seemed forever. One good thing about rain is that it does cleanse the air.....
There where trees down where the winds grappled with the weak parts of the tallest and oldest and thickest trees. Mostly it was the little branches everywhere. I guess it was just a prelude to what was to come the following Wednesday...
Rains where predicted to stop by 3PM and they did. The sun came out and I thought I would be spending a night of creating....
8 o'clock comes with darken skies and darken reports of nasty weather coming our way. It was like not again and really? The sky was grey. Yes, grey stormy... maybe though .... The the grey flashed. Here we go. It was not like Friday. It was less and was quick too. But the damage was more. Four tornadoes hit the county and two hit south of my town. It was at F1 levels so the damage was basically huge trees toppled over baring roots. Wild circles in the corn. A barn lifted up and flattened. Nothing like the tornado damage to a neighboring town several years ago in October. It was still hard to go to work seeing such massive trees uprooted. What power! It makes me remember how strong my God is. My eyes welled up with tears....
Came home Thursday night and my nose started to run. The tree pollen count is there but down. So why was my nose just running? I remember someone recently tell me about a woman who was allergic to pine. She didn't know why she was always sickly every December until she released that their live Christmas tree was the causing her physical gloom and doom. So with this 'dot' and connecting it to the buzz of chain saws cutting down trees all over leads me to believe the cause of my runaway nose is the trees again!
{heavy sigh} I hate the smell of hay and fall is my least favorite seasons except the brilliant cornflower blue skies and the golden corn fields because of the hay fever. I don't want to hate spring and summer. Pollen is like dirt but hidden dirt. This causes crazy behavior on my part besides the massive headaches. I become obsessed of the clothes I will wear outside and what clothes I will wear inside and not ever outside. Then there is the problem of my favorite clothes that I just don't wear at all because I don't want the pollen in my house. It is an invisible enemy and ridiculous behavior on my part, I know. Don't roll your eyes ant me and keep your mitts off the phone. Don't call the crazy house or the the straight jacket ... just yet!
I guess what I am saying the long way is that I don't want to hate trees or spring or summer. (Winter has been my favorite season with Spring coming in as a tie position.) Trees are ancient centurions. Always tall, watchful, faithful, lasting, and dependable. There is something serene and thoughtful about trees... Tolkien seemed to feel for trees and I reflect.... I have to romanticize my little issue. I weep for the Ancient Ents.....
Sunday, June 20, 2010
happy 5th bday, llj!
Yesterday came & I forgot! My blog had another birthday! 5 years! llj (what I call my blog for short) has been a very good friend over the years. She (I think my blog is a girl) has listen & helped me think out weighty issues. You know she has even gotten frustrated at me for my slow learning process. She never yelled back or vanished for days, weeks, or years even if I have neglected her. {sighs} You know I have become a less angry person because of this blog because I finally found my voice even if there two ears. Ahhhh, five years.... & more to come!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
before great men ...
I have this 'gift verse' that I think about when I plan gifts for others. I would like to flip it on you so you can see it in a different way.
"A man's gift makes room for him,
& brings him before great men (kings)."
Prov. 18:16
Have you ever thought about the person you are giving the gift to great or kingly? Have you ever thought that you are coming before royalty with your gift? I've been thinking about it more and more. It is an interesting concept. It could quite change your gift giving.
"A man's gift makes room for him,
& brings him before great men (kings)."
Prov. 18:16
Have you ever thought about the person you are giving the gift to great or kingly? Have you ever thought that you are coming before royalty with your gift? I've been thinking about it more and more. It is an interesting concept. It could quite change your gift giving.
single period.
I have made a decision that I am going to be happy and content with my God-given gift of singlehood. However, I must warn you that if you ask and tears well up, it does NOT mean that I want you to set me up. What is worse than living a singular life is the dating. I absolutely hate it. I am the most unsure of myself like a new born horse. If I was to get married, it would have been from getting to know someone like from a friendship.
Please do not think you can rescue me. I am a hopeless cause when it comes to human intervention. God knows me and yes, I have to work on my 'comfort' and stability of little 'ol me. Last year I hit a milestone birthday and at Christmas I had to deal with someone who thought they could rescue me sent me into a deep end of emotional stress. I had enough. No more. Now if I can control my welling of my eyes and have the right words. So to the ladies that tried to rescue me today and to anyone else who thinks they are the best at matchmaking, I am not having it and I will become my worse nightmare. I would rather keep that under wraps. Thank you very much! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Please do not think you can rescue me. I am a hopeless cause when it comes to human intervention. God knows me and yes, I have to work on my 'comfort' and stability of little 'ol me. Last year I hit a milestone birthday and at Christmas I had to deal with someone who thought they could rescue me sent me into a deep end of emotional stress. I had enough. No more. Now if I can control my welling of my eyes and have the right words. So to the ladies that tried to rescue me today and to anyone else who thinks they are the best at matchmaking, I am not having it and I will become my worse nightmare. I would rather keep that under wraps. Thank you very much! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Sunday, June 13, 2010
feelings vs Holy Spirit ...
God is teaching and I am listening. I don't have it yet. It is like it is a new flower to me never seen before and it is budding. I never really put a placement on my feelings. I feel them. Some come on in a surprise and some are just plain good. In my younger days most were dark and even violent. Yes, this quiet girl could have an inward heat of anger to a raging boil. I may have kept it inside but it was there. I am older and wiser. My feelings are mostly good. Anger isn't a major player. The dark brooding thoughts are sedated my God's Joy. I am in a good place so it is interesting that now is the time God is showing me something **NEW** about feelings. Maybe it is the finishing marks...
I don't know how the full bloom of this lesson flower will turn out, but the little bud has something to do with the choice of letting our feelings rage or forsaking the feelings for the Holy Spirit indwelling. It is an opposite. Do I live in my fleshly feelings or do I let the Holy Spirit take hold of me and produce the fruit of the Spirit in my life? Interesting thought!
Funny - I have a 3x5 white note card from about 5 years ago where I wrote down some scripture on feelings. So maybe I have been wanting God to speak to me on this and now is the time because I am ready to get it!!!! I tingle at the thought!!!! I love the learning but hate the fencing, the tempering ....!
.:3x5 white note card reads:.
Titus 3:2
'to slander no one; to be peaceable;
to be full of courtesy; to walk humbly.'
~walk in the Spirit - not in your emotions & feelings~
Gal 5:16-22
"Be controlled by the Holy Spirit.
The fruit will result in love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self control."
Col 3:12
"As God chosen people, holy & dearly loved,
clothe yourself w/ compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness & patience."
I don't know how the full bloom of this lesson flower will turn out, but the little bud has something to do with the choice of letting our feelings rage or forsaking the feelings for the Holy Spirit indwelling. It is an opposite. Do I live in my fleshly feelings or do I let the Holy Spirit take hold of me and produce the fruit of the Spirit in my life? Interesting thought!
Funny - I have a 3x5 white note card from about 5 years ago where I wrote down some scripture on feelings. So maybe I have been wanting God to speak to me on this and now is the time because I am ready to get it!!!! I tingle at the thought!!!! I love the learning but hate the fencing, the tempering ....!
.:3x5 white note card reads:.
Titus 3:2
'to slander no one; to be peaceable;
to be full of courtesy; to walk humbly.'
~walk in the Spirit - not in your emotions & feelings~
Gal 5:16-22
"Be controlled by the Holy Spirit.
The fruit will result in love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self control."
Col 3:12
"As God chosen people, holy & dearly loved,
clothe yourself w/ compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness & patience."
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
the pilot is my dad ...
I heard a story today that I just have to retell if I can.... I think is it is a true story too.
It takes place on a plane. It begins as a gentle clean flight then it becomes turbulent. Some passengers become hysterical while others begin to pray while others are rigid and stiff holding on for dear life. In the midst of the chaos is this little girl who seems so oblivious to the ups and drops of the plane. The plane finally landed and a passenger who was watching the little girl in total amazement asked her why she was so calm. Her response was "the pilot is my dad and he is taking me home."
Isn't that a beautiful response? Isn't this how we believers should feel about our own life journeys no matter how crazy or how hurtful or how lonely or how frustrating or how joyful? We have a Pilot in control and He is flying us Home. How peaceful and calming ......
It takes place on a plane. It begins as a gentle clean flight then it becomes turbulent. Some passengers become hysterical while others begin to pray while others are rigid and stiff holding on for dear life. In the midst of the chaos is this little girl who seems so oblivious to the ups and drops of the plane. The plane finally landed and a passenger who was watching the little girl in total amazement asked her why she was so calm. Her response was "the pilot is my dad and he is taking me home."
Isn't that a beautiful response? Isn't this how we believers should feel about our own life journeys no matter how crazy or how hurtful or how lonely or how frustrating or how joyful? We have a Pilot in control and He is flying us Home. How peaceful and calming ......
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Wildwood dreams ...
I had a daydream where I was riding a mighty steed in a hard run. The mighty steed's mane and tail whipped wildly in the wind as did my heavy hooded cloak. I am making my way to the Little Church of the Wildwood where I would dine at a banquet feast as well as to lay down my heavy pack upon the Alter of Prayer. Afterwards I am looking forward to a more leisurely ride home. The songbird of Hope would be singing Joyfully within my heart. I would feel a glow...
However, the daydream becomes more sinister as my steed is wildly charging forward in a heavy sweat. I am frantically holding on as well as holding onto the Sword of the Lord. The church isn't like the one of the Wildwood. This one is broken down and is vandalized by man's own message and agenda. A heavy darkness the air and a sticky fog fills the brain. The Word of God is betrayed and deface. It is a war to getting back to our first love...
I weep as I am surface from my daydream.... God's Word is the Truth, the Life, the Way I must hold too. All I need is written in His Book. I never thought I would have to be a crusader of love for His Word to my own people and my own place...
The Church has One Foundation
Long with a scornful wonder,
We saw her sore oppressed
By schisms rent asunder,
By heresies distressed.
Yet saints their watch were keeping
To hail a brighter day,
When God should stop their weeping,
Take their reproach away.
However, the daydream becomes more sinister as my steed is wildly charging forward in a heavy sweat. I am frantically holding on as well as holding onto the Sword of the Lord. The church isn't like the one of the Wildwood. This one is broken down and is vandalized by man's own message and agenda. A heavy darkness the air and a sticky fog fills the brain. The Word of God is betrayed and deface. It is a war to getting back to our first love...
I weep as I am surface from my daydream.... God's Word is the Truth, the Life, the Way I must hold too. All I need is written in His Book. I never thought I would have to be a crusader of love for His Word to my own people and my own place...
The Church has One Foundation
Long with a scornful wonder,
We saw her sore oppressed
By schisms rent asunder,
By heresies distressed.
Yet saints their watch were keeping
To hail a brighter day,
When God should stop their weeping,
Take their reproach away.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Robin Hood
I would rate Robin Hood a 9.5. It is up there with the likes of Braveheart & The Last of the Mohicans. I love when nobility is for the common man to obtain. I think in all of us there is the urging need to be noble, brave, and kind but our daily lives seem so ordinary, drab, and mundane. In reality there are no castles to defend or dragons to slay.... or are our eyes veiled?
I felt I was in good hands when I went to see this. The director of the Gladiator, Rigley Scott, made this movie. There was a lot of hoopla over how he depicted it but that didn't matter to me before or after seeing the movie. It is a good story. I loved it. Of course, I do fancy a good romance and adventure. The 'knight' gets his girl. Good ol Russell Crowe in his gruff manly way has his kindness. I think we all know the story but I really beamed when you saw Robin out there at night planting the corn! My heart shrieked 'Score'! Can't wait to see Maid Marian's face when she finds out!
Again, I loved the movie. I long for nobility ....
Probably wouldn't let the kiddos see this. There is a lot of fighting even though it wasn't gory. There is a situation where the king of England is in bed and you end up seeing buttocks.... {rolls eyes}
I felt I was in good hands when I went to see this. The director of the Gladiator, Rigley Scott, made this movie. There was a lot of hoopla over how he depicted it but that didn't matter to me before or after seeing the movie. It is a good story. I loved it. Of course, I do fancy a good romance and adventure. The 'knight' gets his girl. Good ol Russell Crowe in his gruff manly way has his kindness. I think we all know the story but I really beamed when you saw Robin out there at night planting the corn! My heart shrieked 'Score'! Can't wait to see Maid Marian's face when she finds out!
Again, I loved the movie. I long for nobility ....
Probably wouldn't let the kiddos see this. There is a lot of fighting even though it wasn't gory. There is a situation where the king of England is in bed and you end up seeing buttocks.... {rolls eyes}
Thursday, May 20, 2010
listening to the liar for truth!?
I am not sure how to start. I really need to find a new church. I am frustrated and my parents are frustrated. We have done a bit of church hopping and we highly doubt we will find one. This church isn't as fundamental as the ones I went to as I grew up. I must say that of late the bad theology has kept me on guard. Maybe I need that but I want to be able to go to the Banquet feast and eat wholesome healthy food. No junk or garage please.
I cringed when I saw who was speaking on Sunday. This person is notorious for taking Scripture out of context to push her message. Yes, I said her. I don't care for women preachers. Speakers are a different animal. Why don't I leave? I am single and I am tired of doing everything on my own. Church should be a family thing .... at least. Dad is my covering since I am single but with his comment on Sunday something about not wanting to go to a conservative church.... What? I WANT a conservative church! I want to know that what is coming from the pulpit is Bible based.
Well, I should get to what I need to unload!
She started off saying that God has laid on her heart what she was going to say. As the Sunday sermon was coming to a close she said "The church needs to adapt to the world" in order to win others to Christ. She had a visual where 3 men where on stage, one holding the cross, the next had his hands like folded like the church, and the third holding a globe. They were all lined up. Then she moved the globe up saying that as the world changes the church needs to change so there is a direct line to the cross..... I WAS LIVID! I wanted to jump up and shout and make a royal fuss. I could hardly contain myself. Good thing I am a quiet person!
I have been thinking about this all week almost non-stop. There also have been other life events around here that just have added fuel to my fire. I have come to the conclusion that if I ever have the opportunity for one on one face to face communication where someone says this is what the Lord has laid on my heart or God is in this and I know the Holy Word does NOT say this, I am going to let the hair stand straight on my neck and let my face get red and I am going to point blank say, PROVE IT. Give me at least 3 passages in the Holy Bible that says what you are trying to feed me!
God NEVER shows or speaks to us things that He has not already spelled out in great detail in His Holy Word. Beware least you call Him a liar!
1. Yes, God's Word is for the WHOLE WORLD/ not partial
*John 3:16 *Romans 2:11
Mark 16:15 "He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.
2. God's Word is narrow - no accommodations - no sugar coating.
3. God's Word is a stench & an aroma II Cor 2:14-17
4. Trust & Obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus
*Must live by the Sword
5. God's Word & God Himself NEVER changes
6. must live in the world but be ye separate!
7. be Biblically correct not political correct.
God does not reveal one thing to you and say something different in the Word. If so, maybe you what you are listening to is coming from the evil one. Hmmmmm!
I cringed when I saw who was speaking on Sunday. This person is notorious for taking Scripture out of context to push her message. Yes, I said her. I don't care for women preachers. Speakers are a different animal. Why don't I leave? I am single and I am tired of doing everything on my own. Church should be a family thing .... at least. Dad is my covering since I am single but with his comment on Sunday something about not wanting to go to a conservative church.... What? I WANT a conservative church! I want to know that what is coming from the pulpit is Bible based.
Well, I should get to what I need to unload!
She started off saying that God has laid on her heart what she was going to say. As the Sunday sermon was coming to a close she said "The church needs to adapt to the world" in order to win others to Christ. She had a visual where 3 men where on stage, one holding the cross, the next had his hands like folded like the church, and the third holding a globe. They were all lined up. Then she moved the globe up saying that as the world changes the church needs to change so there is a direct line to the cross..... I WAS LIVID! I wanted to jump up and shout and make a royal fuss. I could hardly contain myself. Good thing I am a quiet person!
I have been thinking about this all week almost non-stop. There also have been other life events around here that just have added fuel to my fire. I have come to the conclusion that if I ever have the opportunity for one on one face to face communication where someone says this is what the Lord has laid on my heart or God is in this and I know the Holy Word does NOT say this, I am going to let the hair stand straight on my neck and let my face get red and I am going to point blank say, PROVE IT. Give me at least 3 passages in the Holy Bible that says what you are trying to feed me!
God NEVER shows or speaks to us things that He has not already spelled out in great detail in His Holy Word. Beware least you call Him a liar!
1. Yes, God's Word is for the WHOLE WORLD/ not partial
*John 3:16 *Romans 2:11
Mark 16:15 "He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.
2. God's Word is narrow - no accommodations - no sugar coating.
3. God's Word is a stench & an aroma II Cor 2:14-17
4. Trust & Obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus
*Must live by the Sword
5. God's Word & God Himself NEVER changes
6. must live in the world but be ye separate!
7. be Biblically correct not political correct.
God does not reveal one thing to you and say something different in the Word. If so, maybe you what you are listening to is coming from the evil one. Hmmmmm!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Truth vs a fool
God never shows or speaks to us things that He has not spelled out in great detail in His Holy Word. Beware lest you call Him a liar! .... Yeah, I have a bee in my bonnet for sure this time. Of late it feels like I have to be 'the Word defender'. Guess this happens when you soak in His Words. First, you find that you are totally falling in love with God and then you get real touchy when others mess it up.
Twice now I have heard people say this is what God is telling me and then when they share it, I am shocked they can even say it. Example, the pastor said that "the church needs to adapt to the world..." YIKES! PROVE IT!!! GIVE ME AT THE VERY LEAST THREE PASSAGES THAT SAY THAT!!!!! Well, more on this later. I have so much to refute this claim but I have very little time tonight to really exhale! The other example was an excuse to live with a man. Oh, God led us together .... What???????? God ordained marriage not living together!
"The foolishness of a man twists his way,
and his heart frets against the Lord."
~ Proverbs 19:3
"Because, although they knew God,
they did not glorify Him as God,
nor where they thankful,
but became futile in their thoughts,
and their foolish hearts were darkened.
Professing to be wise,
they became fools."
~Romans 1:21-22
Once upon a time I had something real good and I would ask God what I should do in certain situations. But this real good thing is now long gone and I realized to my horror that I was going on what I felt God was telling me and not going straight to the Word to get my answer. Now I am always looking for the answers from His Word. See, feelings are so fickle and people are wishy so-washy. I needed SOLID truth. Something that does not fail or fall apart. I never again want to be insecure. It is like be sea sick on a turbulent ocean that is heaves you this way that that. All you want is to kiss the solid sturdy unshakable ground. I won't go back. It must be solid quality answers and you only get that from God's Holy Word.
Twice now I have heard people say this is what God is telling me and then when they share it, I am shocked they can even say it. Example, the pastor said that "the church needs to adapt to the world..." YIKES! PROVE IT!!! GIVE ME AT THE VERY LEAST THREE PASSAGES THAT SAY THAT!!!!! Well, more on this later. I have so much to refute this claim but I have very little time tonight to really exhale! The other example was an excuse to live with a man. Oh, God led us together .... What???????? God ordained marriage not living together!
"The foolishness of a man twists his way,
and his heart frets against the Lord."
~ Proverbs 19:3
"Because, although they knew God,
they did not glorify Him as God,
nor where they thankful,
but became futile in their thoughts,
and their foolish hearts were darkened.
Professing to be wise,
they became fools."
~Romans 1:21-22
Once upon a time I had something real good and I would ask God what I should do in certain situations. But this real good thing is now long gone and I realized to my horror that I was going on what I felt God was telling me and not going straight to the Word to get my answer. Now I am always looking for the answers from His Word. See, feelings are so fickle and people are wishy so-washy. I needed SOLID truth. Something that does not fail or fall apart. I never again want to be insecure. It is like be sea sick on a turbulent ocean that is heaves you this way that that. All you want is to kiss the solid sturdy unshakable ground. I won't go back. It must be solid quality answers and you only get that from God's Holy Word.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
10 Sacreds ...
I listen to Ravi on BnnRadio.org on Sundays and he always gets me thinking. He said that when you reading the Ten Commandments that you really should put in the word SACRED. So I tried it and you should to.
Here is my list:
1. God is Sacred.
2. Serving & Loving God is Sacred / Every day with God is Sacred.
3. God's Name is Sacred.
4. the Sabbath is Sacred.
5. Honoring your parents is Sacred.
6. Life is Sacred.
7. Marriage is Sacred.
8. Boundaries are Sacred.
9. Truth is Sacred.
10. Contentment is Sacred.
Your list just might be different than mine but hopefully it just might jar your heart from the numbness everyday life can have on it. I know I am looking at the Ten Commandments differently. They are sweeter and dearer ...
Here is my list:
1. God is Sacred.
2. Serving & Loving God is Sacred / Every day with God is Sacred.
3. God's Name is Sacred.
4. the Sabbath is Sacred.
5. Honoring your parents is Sacred.
6. Life is Sacred.
7. Marriage is Sacred.
8. Boundaries are Sacred.
9. Truth is Sacred.
10. Contentment is Sacred.
Your list just might be different than mine but hopefully it just might jar your heart from the numbness everyday life can have on it. I know I am looking at the Ten Commandments differently. They are sweeter and dearer ...
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Hallelujah is more ...
I certainly have a bee in my bonnet so I hope that I can focus all my thoughts! I am huge on the meaning of words to the point I have pet words and words that I use only in a certain way. Then add to it that I am huge on the hymns and that this new 'christian' music is basically too much about the 'me' instead of God and too repetitive. Soooooooooo, there was a new song sung at church ... talk about 'heart'burn!
I have no clue what the title was but it probably was 'more than a hallelujah'. The song was about how bring our messes, our pain, and our problems to God was better than a hallelujah. I wanted to scream.
Interesting tidbit was that Pastor Steven Davies that I listen to on BNNRadio.org has been preaching on Revelations. He just happen to break down the meaning of Hallelujah. 'Hallelu' means praise. 'Jah is short for Yahweh / Jehovah. Hallelujah is a word that is pronounced the same way in every language. All this new knowledge as added to my fuel!
See, I noticed several secular songs of late have taken the word Hallelujah and really downgraded it. I have even heard people on tv use it and to me it blaspheming God. Oh, say what is wrong with the song sung in church.... Let's go back to Job. What are his words? "THOUGH HE SLAY ME, YET WILL I HOPE IN HIM" ~ Job 13:15 How can you hope in God without having a little bit of of a song in the recesses of the heart and without praising Him. Go to Hab 3:17-18 "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the field produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD. I WILL BE JOYFUL IN GOD MY SAVIOR." Wow! To be broken apart and a total mess and left up the pieces to God AND praise Him is what it is all about.
Bringing my messes to God canNOT be more than a Hallelujah to Him. I have to do both. There is no halfway about it. If all I am doing is bring my messes to God and forgetting or a better word 'refusing' to bring my Hallelujah, I have not learned anything at all. Let us learn from Job and Habakkuk. It is less of me and more of Him. He is more than worthy of our Hallelujahs even in these earthly messes. Oh, and get this 'PRAISE IS BEAUTIFUL'. Oh! Oh! Oh! I get it like a kid squirming in her chair with arm wildly waving and the tongue razor sharp with the answer!!! Being able to Praise Yahweh is the reflection of my soul meaning my soul is in the right place and is beautiful! I love that!!!
Praise the LORD!
For it is good to sing praises to our God;
For it is pleasant, and praise is beautiful.
~ Psalms 147:1
Hallelujah
I have no clue what the title was but it probably was 'more than a hallelujah'. The song was about how bring our messes, our pain, and our problems to God was better than a hallelujah. I wanted to scream.
Interesting tidbit was that Pastor Steven Davies that I listen to on BNNRadio.org has been preaching on Revelations. He just happen to break down the meaning of Hallelujah. 'Hallelu' means praise. 'Jah is short for Yahweh / Jehovah. Hallelujah is a word that is pronounced the same way in every language. All this new knowledge as added to my fuel!
See, I noticed several secular songs of late have taken the word Hallelujah and really downgraded it. I have even heard people on tv use it and to me it blaspheming God. Oh, say what is wrong with the song sung in church.... Let's go back to Job. What are his words? "THOUGH HE SLAY ME, YET WILL I HOPE IN HIM" ~ Job 13:15 How can you hope in God without having a little bit of of a song in the recesses of the heart and without praising Him. Go to Hab 3:17-18 "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the field produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD. I WILL BE JOYFUL IN GOD MY SAVIOR." Wow! To be broken apart and a total mess and left up the pieces to God AND praise Him is what it is all about.
Bringing my messes to God canNOT be more than a Hallelujah to Him. I have to do both. There is no halfway about it. If all I am doing is bring my messes to God and forgetting or a better word 'refusing' to bring my Hallelujah, I have not learned anything at all. Let us learn from Job and Habakkuk. It is less of me and more of Him. He is more than worthy of our Hallelujahs even in these earthly messes. Oh, and get this 'PRAISE IS BEAUTIFUL'. Oh! Oh! Oh! I get it like a kid squirming in her chair with arm wildly waving and the tongue razor sharp with the answer!!! Being able to Praise Yahweh is the reflection of my soul meaning my soul is in the right place and is beautiful! I love that!!!
For it is good to sing praises to our God;
For it is pleasant, and praise is beautiful.
~ Psalms 147:1
Hallelujah
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Armor of Light
let us therefore cast off the works of darkness,
and let us put on the armour of light."
I Pet 4:7
Armor of Light got my mind twirling on this! It is like have a super power but in truth it is God-Power. I don't have to let stuff get me in a mental soul shaking bind.
Yesterday I had a headache that was turning quickly into making me sick. Instead of the itchy eyes and running nose my allergies mimic my food allergy headaches. This isn't good when trying to identify where the headache is coming from. Then I am wondering if I should take Zyrtec because my symptoms aren't listed on the box. I think the drainage is backstage and so I take them. I second guessed myself so I did go off yesterday.... Welllllll, back on today.
Anyway a situation came up at work on Mondayand while others are falling apart, I just sort of let roll and not dwell on it. Yesterday it was harder to do because I was in such pain. I had a lowpoint and then moved on. As I traveled home I brought up the Armor of Light with God. I need to remember my 'God-Power' more readily so that the lowpoints never keep me down.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
my love story is best!
"The best love story is your own."
I heard this and it stuck with me. At first I argued with it that the Best Love Story Ever was God sending His Beloved Son to die for my sins. Yes, this is true. Yet, as I continued to think about this I know too that my love story is better those I like to listen and see. See I am a big sap when it comes to how you might have met your love. I love to a good love story! Hmmm, nothing compares to my own. But you say that I am single what possible love story do you have?
True on the outside I am the loner (not for the lack of trying to make friends) and a misfit. I do not go with the crowd. I have really big thoughts. I am super tenacious to a fault and can't figure out why others fail to have staying power. Sadly, this has been from when I was a little girl whose only friends where her books and her bike.
Well, through the years Jesus Christ has been my Romancer and Husbandman. He choose me. He is my Alpha and Omega. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is Faithful and True. He is my Great Shepherd. Psalms 18 is the best part of my love story!
{happy sigh} How my heart glows!
I heard this and it stuck with me. At first I argued with it that the Best Love Story Ever was God sending His Beloved Son to die for my sins. Yes, this is true. Yet, as I continued to think about this I know too that my love story is better those I like to listen and see. See I am a big sap when it comes to how you might have met your love. I love to a good love story! Hmmm, nothing compares to my own. But you say that I am single what possible love story do you have?
True on the outside I am the loner (not for the lack of trying to make friends) and a misfit. I do not go with the crowd. I have really big thoughts. I am super tenacious to a fault and can't figure out why others fail to have staying power. Sadly, this has been from when I was a little girl whose only friends where her books and her bike.
Well, through the years Jesus Christ has been my Romancer and Husbandman. He choose me. He is my Alpha and Omega. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is Faithful and True. He is my Great Shepherd. Psalms 18 is the best part of my love story!
{happy sigh} How my heart glows!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
leaning NOT defeated!
betty: "Why didn't you want to tell us that your cancer is back?"
sally: "Well, it felt like I lost and that the cancer won. It doesn't help that I am angry and sad and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. Plus, I am just plain tired. I tired of not feeling good, not being able to work, not being able to be out and about. I am tired of over thinking and wondering how the bills will be paid. I am tired of not having my hair and feeling bloated. I just wanted to conquer this. I wanted to at least make through this first bout free of cancer. It didn't even work!" {sobs}
~~~~~~~~~~
No, this isn't a real conversation but I am trying to get into the skin of a co-worker who didn't want others to know that her cancer is back and back meaner and stronger. As I have gone to the mat to pray, something bubbles up inside my heart whispering that illness of any kind is not a life sentence but rather a journey. Hey, anything in life should be considered a journey. I have to remind myself of this very thing in my own situation where I am not doing my dreams. This too is a journey.
A believer has it going for them because the Almighty God has planned the journey ahead of time just designed for us. He has gone before and goes with us! Whispering "Do NOT fear. Be not discourage!" If only we would listen. Duet 31:8
How do you tell a non-believer of the hope inside? I find it most difficult to encourage a non-believer, because I base everything on the the Word. Maybe again, it just about living out my faith with the God-Given JOY He gives...
I can understand not wanting to tell anyone about the cancer coming back. I know I would feel very defeated. I hope that I would pick myself up and realize that it isn't about losing to cancer. It isn't even about beating it. Rather it is about leaning on the Almighty Arms. It is about Him being my Tour Guide and letting go of all my control. {ok, here it goes...} To for once just enjoy the adventure He for me. I am big on learning and with every journey there are lessons to learn tucked in every corner. Now if I could just remember all of this when I am lying flat on my back wondering what just ran me over!
One thing for sure is that even if she doesn't know that I know, I can pray to the One Who knows all things. Praying trumps cards and well wishes... it even trumps my feeling helpless in figuring out how to encourage her.... it is human nature to reach out... and for now praying is all I can do...
sally: "Well, it felt like I lost and that the cancer won. It doesn't help that I am angry and sad and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. Plus, I am just plain tired. I tired of not feeling good, not being able to work, not being able to be out and about. I am tired of over thinking and wondering how the bills will be paid. I am tired of not having my hair and feeling bloated. I just wanted to conquer this. I wanted to at least make through this first bout free of cancer. It didn't even work!" {sobs}
No, this isn't a real conversation but I am trying to get into the skin of a co-worker who didn't want others to know that her cancer is back and back meaner and stronger. As I have gone to the mat to pray, something bubbles up inside my heart whispering that illness of any kind is not a life sentence but rather a journey. Hey, anything in life should be considered a journey. I have to remind myself of this very thing in my own situation where I am not doing my dreams. This too is a journey.
A believer has it going for them because the Almighty God has planned the journey ahead of time just designed for us. He has gone before and goes with us! Whispering "Do NOT fear. Be not discourage!" If only we would listen. Duet 31:8
How do you tell a non-believer of the hope inside? I find it most difficult to encourage a non-believer, because I base everything on the the Word. Maybe again, it just about living out my faith with the God-Given JOY He gives...
I can understand not wanting to tell anyone about the cancer coming back. I know I would feel very defeated. I hope that I would pick myself up and realize that it isn't about losing to cancer. It isn't even about beating it. Rather it is about leaning on the Almighty Arms. It is about Him being my Tour Guide and letting go of all my control. {ok, here it goes...} To for once just enjoy the adventure He for me. I am big on learning and with every journey there are lessons to learn tucked in every corner. Now if I could just remember all of this when I am lying flat on my back wondering what just ran me over!
One thing for sure is that even if she doesn't know that I know, I can pray to the One Who knows all things. Praying trumps cards and well wishes... it even trumps my feeling helpless in figuring out how to encourage her.... it is human nature to reach out... and for now praying is all I can do...
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
NOT ALONE even in death!
Last week Mom was telling me about a phone call with her sister. The sister was bring up the past and making Mom feel bad for not being there when Grandma died. Grandma L did way back in the early 90's and today is the 2010. My Aunt has been like this all of her life while Mom has been the brunt of her older sister's verbiage.
After the conversation with Mom, I was thinking about it and the story of King David and the lost of his son with Bathsheba that I read two weeks earlier came to mind. Do you remember what he did? When his baby son was struck ill, King David pleaded with God, would not eat, spent nights lying on the ground. However, on the seventh day the son died, David got up and cleaned up and WORSHIPED THE LORD and then ate food. The servants could not understand this. They thought the death would send David over the edge. Get this: David said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought , 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let my child life.' but now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."(II Sam 12:23) Read the whole account in II Sam 11-12:23 & Ps 51.
I found King David's words very comforting to me as I was manning the phone when Grandma was ready to go. I could have made the rushed call telling my parents to get home fast. But in my young adult mind, it takes two hours to get to Grandma from home and my parents were away on a weekend vacation they rarely take. Grandma hadn't been herself for a while. She just was quiet and stared into space. I highly doubted that they would have gotten back in time to see her pass. So this many years later, it was good to read this and share this Mom. We couldn't keep Grandma here nor did we want to. This earth is not our homeland (Hebrews 11:13-16) and why would we want to keep her from going in the Arms of Jesus to her inheritance? Plus, in due time we will be going to her.
I know that some feel the strong need to be there in the final breaths while others do not what to carry this visual in their minds when all they want to remember are the good memories, the life not the end! Some people are blessed to have people surround them in their death while others die alone. Then I had the thought that when you are a believer that you are already walking with the Lord and you are not alone even in death. What a BLESSED thought!
After the conversation with Mom, I was thinking about it and the story of King David and the lost of his son with Bathsheba that I read two weeks earlier came to mind. Do you remember what he did? When his baby son was struck ill, King David pleaded with God, would not eat, spent nights lying on the ground. However, on the seventh day the son died, David got up and cleaned up and WORSHIPED THE LORD and then ate food. The servants could not understand this. They thought the death would send David over the edge. Get this: David said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought , 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let my child life.' but now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."(II Sam 12:23) Read the whole account in II Sam 11-12:23 & Ps 51.
I found King David's words very comforting to me as I was manning the phone when Grandma was ready to go. I could have made the rushed call telling my parents to get home fast. But in my young adult mind, it takes two hours to get to Grandma from home and my parents were away on a weekend vacation they rarely take. Grandma hadn't been herself for a while. She just was quiet and stared into space. I highly doubted that they would have gotten back in time to see her pass. So this many years later, it was good to read this and share this Mom. We couldn't keep Grandma here nor did we want to. This earth is not our homeland (Hebrews 11:13-16) and why would we want to keep her from going in the Arms of Jesus to her inheritance? Plus, in due time we will be going to her.
I know that some feel the strong need to be there in the final breaths while others do not what to carry this visual in their minds when all they want to remember are the good memories, the life not the end! Some people are blessed to have people surround them in their death while others die alone. Then I had the thought that when you are a believer that you are already walking with the Lord and you are not alone even in death. What a BLESSED thought!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
floating in my toy boat ...
I've been in a real funky place. I know who I am and I am ok with with where I am even though it is not the place of my dreams I'm not really sad even though it is ever so close. I'm not angry but frustration is ever near. It is hard to describe because I am for the most part happy.
I just thought of the best picture to describe this muck. Oh yeah, I am still using dial-up because of the cost of DSL and all the other high priced options. However, the speed is sooooooo slow! I have all these tabs open which of course doesn't help but I wait and wait for pages to open up so when one opens I read while I wait for others. I search a lot for my craft and I want to blog and then sites act up... so on and so on.... I don't work with my favorite picture sites because the time it takes is unreal! Now try searching for DSL and it laughable.
This is how I feel in my real life. I have this passionate creative side that is being pulled and slowed down my day job and by feelings of not having enough time to create and take care of my home. My mind thinks and daydreams at work of things to create and make or write about but when I get home the tick of the clock is loud and fast. I know I am doing much more with my time than I did before I learned to crochet but it doesn't smooth over this need for my creative side to shine.
I know it just isn't about my passion but about just little old me. I have these emotions that come from inside. I know this is normal because I am a woman but this isn't that emotion that comes in cycles. This emotion seems to have settle in now that the 40's are here. I'm just NOT having it! However, I know if I power through it than I will be having major issues. So I will not bark up that tree! I would rather get into a toy boat and just float down this patch of river with ease and style. I shall take this as a new adventure!
Last week I was really having a time of the blues. I took Matthew 12:29-30 to prayer. I sent Jesus Christ to answer the front door when the evil one's harsh and persistent knocking was too much for me. I stayed hidden away from view reading the passages of God's great care and design for me. Psalms 139 is a great place to start. I then pulled the covers up over my head and fell asleep instead of crying! Now that was a God-Victory!!!
I just thought of the best picture to describe this muck. Oh yeah, I am still using dial-up because of the cost of DSL and all the other high priced options. However, the speed is sooooooo slow! I have all these tabs open which of course doesn't help but I wait and wait for pages to open up so when one opens I read while I wait for others. I search a lot for my craft and I want to blog and then sites act up... so on and so on.... I don't work with my favorite picture sites because the time it takes is unreal! Now try searching for DSL and it laughable.
This is how I feel in my real life. I have this passionate creative side that is being pulled and slowed down my day job and by feelings of not having enough time to create and take care of my home. My mind thinks and daydreams at work of things to create and make or write about but when I get home the tick of the clock is loud and fast. I know I am doing much more with my time than I did before I learned to crochet but it doesn't smooth over this need for my creative side to shine.
I know it just isn't about my passion but about just little old me. I have these emotions that come from inside. I know this is normal because I am a woman but this isn't that emotion that comes in cycles. This emotion seems to have settle in now that the 40's are here. I'm just NOT having it! However, I know if I power through it than I will be having major issues. So I will not bark up that tree! I would rather get into a toy boat and just float down this patch of river with ease and style. I shall take this as a new adventure!
Last week I was really having a time of the blues. I took Matthew 12:29-30 to prayer. I sent Jesus Christ to answer the front door when the evil one's harsh and persistent knocking was too much for me. I stayed hidden away from view reading the passages of God's great care and design for me. Psalms 139 is a great place to start. I then pulled the covers up over my head and fell asleep instead of crying! Now that was a God-Victory!!!
Monday, April 12, 2010
flower looms ...
I didn’t think I could do it!!! I was fighting the urge to keep instead of the original plan to give away. I took it this simple desire to God…. I wanted to the right thing…
I went to the local thrift shop and I scouted out the craft area looking for flower looms for the girl at work. I have some modern day flower looms of my own and have dabbled in them and really want to do more on these looms. I have some patterns for flower looms that I showed crafty girl at work and she fell in love with the idea of making them as hair clips and even for hemp wrist bands that she dabbles in. She also loves old things and the modern flower looms can be a bit high in price. So finding flowers looms at the thrift shop would be just perfect. I didn’t think I would be so fortunate to find them but I would look anyways. What do I see before my sparking eyes did appear? Not just one but two different sizes of round flower looms. One is a double loom which gives you the option of three different sizes of flowers. Then to top it off with a cherry was the double square flower loom! She is leaning for the circle loom but one must have a square one too! The price is the kicker and the reason I had a funny urge to keep these flower looms for myself instead of the original plan to give them to her. The circle flowers looms were .70 cents. The square one with other tidbits came to .75 cents. These cheap prices are unheard of! Oh dear!
I told God about my feelings and asked for help to do the right thing. I have my own flower looms. I do not need more but the pennies I paid made the find so much richer for me. Well, what would I do?
I already had a gift of painted glass for her with some odds-and-ins she needed for her craft habit. I wasn’t going to add the flower looms in that gift until I scouted out what she found in her own search over the weekend. Well, when she came down to express her thanks for the glass, she brought up the flower looms and I found she hadn’t found anything so enter in me actually showing her what I found. She was excited and when I heard that little notion of her giving them back, I said oh, that is for you, a gift!
I did it!!!! …. I gave her the flower looms!!!! It feels good to give and that notion of keeping them will pass. Now will I keep looking for flower looms in thrift shops and be disappointed….. or maybe I can still be thrilled by it again…. But nothing happens twice the same way….
I am very happy though because she is too.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
the Last Song ... part two
Well, the movie was NOT as good as the movie. I thought Nicholas Sparks (author) wrote the book/movie together or something but the story line in the movie failed to keep it straight.
The book had stronger and deeper emotions between the father and the daughter which made it pull hard your heartstrings. There was a ton of discord over the piano and the movie never got close to the anger pent up in the daughter. The divorce between the parents was exposed at the end which showed how the father covered for her mother taking all the grief when it was not his fault. Then there is the the friendship between the father and the paster that never made the movie. The Bible reading never made it either.
... I could go on and on...
What frustrates me as a writer-want-a-be and very much a visual learner is why can't movies be more like the books especially with good authors? Movies have a way of touching me that books fail to because I have a hard time imagining yet in a bizarre way, I actually visualize my story or my poem before I can put it to words. It has to go together. To be a good author I would think they are being 'movie directors' with their stories to make a good book. I was not happy about this movie because the book was so much better.
Mom didn't read the book and thought is was good but when she heard me grumble she said she is going to have to read the book....
bummer....
The book had stronger and deeper emotions between the father and the daughter which made it pull hard your heartstrings. There was a ton of discord over the piano and the movie never got close to the anger pent up in the daughter. The divorce between the parents was exposed at the end which showed how the father covered for her mother taking all the grief when it was not his fault. Then there is the the friendship between the father and the paster that never made the movie. The Bible reading never made it either.
... I could go on and on...
What frustrates me as a writer-want-a-be and very much a visual learner is why can't movies be more like the books especially with good authors? Movies have a way of touching me that books fail to because I have a hard time imagining yet in a bizarre way, I actually visualize my story or my poem before I can put it to words. It has to go together. To be a good author I would think they are being 'movie directors' with their stories to make a good book. I was not happy about this movie because the book was so much better.
Mom didn't read the book and thought is was good but when she heard me grumble she said she is going to have to read the book....
bummer....
Saturday, April 03, 2010
the Last Song ...
I read Nicholas Sparks because he rips out your heart every time but in "The Last Song" he more than rips out your heart. I swear this book made me cry more than all his other books combined. Supposedly, he wrote this book from the movie or at the same time, so I am expecting the movie to follow the book pretty closely. I can't wait to see the baby turtles and the stain glass window!!!!!
For the young girl this is a story about a summer love. For the grown woman it is a story of a girl growing up and her father's love and admiration for her. I believe that a young girl will have to read it again as she journeys into womanhood. It holds a treasure that will take on a different reflection depending on where you are at in your own journey. I am a keeper. I am a sensitive. I treasure moments in my heart. This book challenges you to double check your relationships and not to take any one of them for grant.
A father wants his kids to come down south to his house for the summer. Enters a grumpy girl of 18 who hasn't talked to her father for 3 years and her kid brother who is soooo funny and a bit wise. Dad teaches his son how to make a stained glass window for the church and dad stops playing the piano just to make his daughter happy. But the girl spends a lot of time away. If you know Nicholas Sparks, you pick up on the dark looming on the horizon. Note: Mr. Sparks writes about real life. This will not be wrapped up neatly in a bow and a box. He does leave you with possibles of love continuing... {smiles}
Threaded though out is the father's search of the Presence of God. Nicholas Sparks only touches on faith as a character trait but never fleshes faith out in the fullest. With every book I try to decide what he is up to and sadly, I don't think he fully knows the Salvation and vibrant life in Jesus Christ. This book he was sooooo close and I physically ached for him to get it right. I do appreciate greatly that the father's choice of reading was the Bible. The father notices that his pastor friend always comes back from walking along the beach with a peaceful face like he was in the Presence of God. The father wants this and searches for it and finally realizes it is in every moment.
I feel very strongly that we miss out on so much because we are continually searching for the next big thing in our lives that we miss out on the enjoyment of the moment. We rush and rush and fail to stop and take it in. It is more than just saying thank you but rather it is stopping and celebrating what God has done for you at the moment.
I love my Dad and yet I know there is more I can do with my relationship with him. I already know this and yet this book was poking me in the chest with raised eyebrows and tapping feet..... ok, ok!!!!
Well, talk about father movies out there! You have'Remember Me' and 'The Last Song' that really make you think about fathers and how to be better in your relationships. You can loose them at anytime. Life doesn't let you keep them forever present. Don't go through life on the surface. Breath deep and take it all in width and depth. Don't be afraid of being hurt. Scars are proof of triumph!!!!!!!
For the young girl this is a story about a summer love. For the grown woman it is a story of a girl growing up and her father's love and admiration for her. I believe that a young girl will have to read it again as she journeys into womanhood. It holds a treasure that will take on a different reflection depending on where you are at in your own journey. I am a keeper. I am a sensitive. I treasure moments in my heart. This book challenges you to double check your relationships and not to take any one of them for grant.
A father wants his kids to come down south to his house for the summer. Enters a grumpy girl of 18 who hasn't talked to her father for 3 years and her kid brother who is soooo funny and a bit wise. Dad teaches his son how to make a stained glass window for the church and dad stops playing the piano just to make his daughter happy. But the girl spends a lot of time away. If you know Nicholas Sparks, you pick up on the dark looming on the horizon. Note: Mr. Sparks writes about real life. This will not be wrapped up neatly in a bow and a box. He does leave you with possibles of love continuing... {smiles}
Threaded though out is the father's search of the Presence of God. Nicholas Sparks only touches on faith as a character trait but never fleshes faith out in the fullest. With every book I try to decide what he is up to and sadly, I don't think he fully knows the Salvation and vibrant life in Jesus Christ. This book he was sooooo close and I physically ached for him to get it right. I do appreciate greatly that the father's choice of reading was the Bible. The father notices that his pastor friend always comes back from walking along the beach with a peaceful face like he was in the Presence of God. The father wants this and searches for it and finally realizes it is in every moment.
I feel very strongly that we miss out on so much because we are continually searching for the next big thing in our lives that we miss out on the enjoyment of the moment. We rush and rush and fail to stop and take it in. It is more than just saying thank you but rather it is stopping and celebrating what God has done for you at the moment.
I love my Dad and yet I know there is more I can do with my relationship with him. I already know this and yet this book was poking me in the chest with raised eyebrows and tapping feet..... ok, ok!!!!
Well, talk about father movies out there! You have'Remember Me' and 'The Last Song' that really make you think about fathers and how to be better in your relationships. You can loose them at anytime. Life doesn't let you keep them forever present. Don't go through life on the surface. Breath deep and take it all in width and depth. Don't be afraid of being hurt. Scars are proof of triumph!!!!!!!
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